so WTF to post about? is it posting? is it talking? is it writing? we'll go w/posting...
so WTF?
tried to get a new bike since the frame on the old 1 is trashed. 1st time i ever knowingly wrecked a bike frame in 1 of my infamous bike wrecks...
the nut ass website fucked up my order & then proceeded to provide a horrible rendition of customer service. i'm pissed 'cause it looked like a great deal. deal or not though i don't like giving my loot to asshole businesses. fuck'em...
make like customer service is not important at all...
PEACE
...be calm...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
wash that stankin' ass funk off...
i truly relish the ability to listen to tracks of my own creation while completing the various activities that comprise my life. it is a joyous experience. it can combine so many different pleasurable things into a single experience. although i can no longer walk normally, i can take my media player out w/me & lounge in my mind as i view this world that we so frequently abuse as humans.
it's always been a favorite activity of mine to wash my ass while i'm listening to audio. i suppose i'd watch movies in the shower if i could, but my funds aren't collecting like that. that would be clearly materially excessive, but i am a mediavore. i now listen to music while watching TV (very minimally of course), & DVD's. it's a very rewarding experience to do both. it's hot when 1 of my tracks seems to match the mood/vibe of whatever film happens to be playing. gotta love it.
it is important for me to maintain my path in my careerial endeavors [yes, i just made that shit up. slangulation motherfucker...]. this music shit is not a passing phase for me. trick for me is finding a way to make this work financially, or finding a working path financially that will allow me to continue to compose, mix, & record at my leisure.
tricky, but not impossible...
make like i can just go to a studio & apply for a gig...
PEACE
...be calm...
it's always been a favorite activity of mine to wash my ass while i'm listening to audio. i suppose i'd watch movies in the shower if i could, but my funds aren't collecting like that. that would be clearly materially excessive, but i am a mediavore. i now listen to music while watching TV (very minimally of course), & DVD's. it's a very rewarding experience to do both. it's hot when 1 of my tracks seems to match the mood/vibe of whatever film happens to be playing. gotta love it.
it is important for me to maintain my path in my careerial endeavors [yes, i just made that shit up. slangulation motherfucker...]. this music shit is not a passing phase for me. trick for me is finding a way to make this work financially, or finding a working path financially that will allow me to continue to compose, mix, & record at my leisure.
tricky, but not impossible...
make like i can just go to a studio & apply for a gig...
PEACE
...be calm...
Sunday, July 26, 2009
beating away the darkness...
when shit doesn't go right, as happens frequently w/plans in life, the best thing is to K.I.M. this is within reason. you don't want to be playing at a beach in the water after seeing a shark swimming nearby. K.I.M. in that case would mean get that ass outta the water...
i'm none too pleased w/the NYC trip outcome from Friday. this is why i tend not to plan things w/the wiz in mind: too disruptive. cooperation is the key to the success of this unit. far too often it is not a readily available commodity. the result is quite a bit of cleanup & restructuring activity. takes away from actual doings on a regular basis.
the frequency and/or nature of sabotage can be quite a downer. couple that w/the current aggravated condition of the peds & you've got the approach of a depressive episode. i'm fighting that shit. perhaps i should go find a church somewhere a la dude i went to HS with. Jesus will save my life...
it will never cease to amaze me that people think their religious beliefs actually change what the universe is doing. it only affects what you do in the universe. it shapes your thoughts & actions, not the entire universe. the universe continues no matter what you happen to believe. it doesn't need human beliefs to exist...
fortunately connecting w/advanced consciousness can help alleviate some of the obstacles created by being a finite being. it isn't saving the world, but knowing this shit is fleeting can give great perspective. as i get older i'm finding my thoughts & consciousness can be trusted companions. this is becoming more apparent as my efforts to socialize are not all that well rewarded. my perspective can be too foreign to some...
as w/so many things in life, the key is still K.I.M.
make like foot pain is awesome...
PEACE
...be calm...
i'm none too pleased w/the NYC trip outcome from Friday. this is why i tend not to plan things w/the wiz in mind: too disruptive. cooperation is the key to the success of this unit. far too often it is not a readily available commodity. the result is quite a bit of cleanup & restructuring activity. takes away from actual doings on a regular basis.
the frequency and/or nature of sabotage can be quite a downer. couple that w/the current aggravated condition of the peds & you've got the approach of a depressive episode. i'm fighting that shit. perhaps i should go find a church somewhere a la dude i went to HS with. Jesus will save my life...
it will never cease to amaze me that people think their religious beliefs actually change what the universe is doing. it only affects what you do in the universe. it shapes your thoughts & actions, not the entire universe. the universe continues no matter what you happen to believe. it doesn't need human beliefs to exist...
fortunately connecting w/advanced consciousness can help alleviate some of the obstacles created by being a finite being. it isn't saving the world, but knowing this shit is fleeting can give great perspective. as i get older i'm finding my thoughts & consciousness can be trusted companions. this is becoming more apparent as my efforts to socialize are not all that well rewarded. my perspective can be too foreign to some...
as w/so many things in life, the key is still K.I.M.
make like foot pain is awesome...
PEACE
...be calm...
Saturday, July 25, 2009
my life w/a saboteur...
the wiz is not someone w/whom to make plans. she seems to relish somehow, inadvertently messing up plans. there is almost always the most sincere sense/feeling of remorse coupled w/profuse apologies, but the damage is usually complete & irreversible.
after 10+ years i've come to expect it. i suppose this is a fatalistic approach, but it has happened so repeatedly, it'd be utter stupidity on my part not to acknowledge its existence. relationships are extremely contingent on certain tolerances being established. certain boundaries can be violated mildly. other boundaries must be maintained at all costs. the balance & its maintenance makes or breaks any relationship between 2 humans.
tried to go to the NY for our anniversary. did not happen. the wiz single handedly squashed the whole trip by giving me "time to get ready." imagine. she of it takes 3-4 outfits to get dressed thought he of 1 outfit & done, needed extra time. as a result, she returned to the domicile at an hour that completely negated any & all travel to our proposed destination. sadly, i paid in advance for entry fee. to make the wound sting a little more, i bought train tix 1s before realizing it was too late to catch the train. [oooops!]
it would have been cool overall if i did not have to foot it from Broad St. to the crib. now my peds are the court jesters of pain.
make like not being able to walk normally is the motherfucking bomb...
PEACE
...be calm...
after 10+ years i've come to expect it. i suppose this is a fatalistic approach, but it has happened so repeatedly, it'd be utter stupidity on my part not to acknowledge its existence. relationships are extremely contingent on certain tolerances being established. certain boundaries can be violated mildly. other boundaries must be maintained at all costs. the balance & its maintenance makes or breaks any relationship between 2 humans.
tried to go to the NY for our anniversary. did not happen. the wiz single handedly squashed the whole trip by giving me "time to get ready." imagine. she of it takes 3-4 outfits to get dressed thought he of 1 outfit & done, needed extra time. as a result, she returned to the domicile at an hour that completely negated any & all travel to our proposed destination. sadly, i paid in advance for entry fee. to make the wound sting a little more, i bought train tix 1s before realizing it was too late to catch the train. [oooops!]
it would have been cool overall if i did not have to foot it from Broad St. to the crib. now my peds are the court jesters of pain.
make like not being able to walk normally is the motherfucking bomb...
PEACE
...be calm...
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
feeling the funk...
olfactory senses are quite important to my life experience.
there are certain smells that i associate w/specific life experiences that are vividly recalled any time a particular smell is about.
1 of my favorites is the smell of those tree car air fresheners. typical thinking would likely assume it's because it reminds me of my 1st ride. no. the memory is that of the video store where i was 1st able to rent porn. for some reason, the porn box (a little ass room in a big ass store) was freshly stocked w/1 of those tree car fresheners. so, every time i smell those damn trees, i think porn...
another is the smell of grass & rain during the warmer seasons. these remind me of my summer's at my paternal family's property in the beautiful rural area of VA's Eastern Shore. little Indian named towns all up & down US-13. i used to stay outside until the 'squitos came out & fucked up my skin.
i am also quite fond of musks. i don't remember exactly what age i was, but i remember learning that we all smell different. i became familiar w/the smell of my sperm donor. he used Right Guard in the tall brown can. this is years before leave-no-stain roll-ons & anti-perspirants. i knew his natural smell as well. the egg donor doesn't have a specific smell, unless you count the smell of old pads in the bathroom trash can. [ewwwww!] perhaps because i spent all my time around her instead of him, i didn't feel the need to assign her smell a slot in my funk memory...
make like a pleasant crotch musk is completely unimportant...
PEACE
...be calm...
there are certain smells that i associate w/specific life experiences that are vividly recalled any time a particular smell is about.
1 of my favorites is the smell of those tree car air fresheners. typical thinking would likely assume it's because it reminds me of my 1st ride. no. the memory is that of the video store where i was 1st able to rent porn. for some reason, the porn box (a little ass room in a big ass store) was freshly stocked w/1 of those tree car fresheners. so, every time i smell those damn trees, i think porn...
another is the smell of grass & rain during the warmer seasons. these remind me of my summer's at my paternal family's property in the beautiful rural area of VA's Eastern Shore. little Indian named towns all up & down US-13. i used to stay outside until the 'squitos came out & fucked up my skin.
i am also quite fond of musks. i don't remember exactly what age i was, but i remember learning that we all smell different. i became familiar w/the smell of my sperm donor. he used Right Guard in the tall brown can. this is years before leave-no-stain roll-ons & anti-perspirants. i knew his natural smell as well. the egg donor doesn't have a specific smell, unless you count the smell of old pads in the bathroom trash can. [ewwwww!] perhaps because i spent all my time around her instead of him, i didn't feel the need to assign her smell a slot in my funk memory...
make like a pleasant crotch musk is completely unimportant...
PEACE
...be calm...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
SIZE DOES MATTER...
IN RECOGNITION OF THE NEW MONITOR, THIS POST LOOKS LIKE THIS...
THIS MONITOR IS FUCKING HUGE. IT DOESN'T PASS THE 2 BROWSER WINDOW TEST, BUT IT'S SURE AS HELL BEATS THE DUAL 17" CRT SETUP.
WOULDN'T MIND 2 OF THESE JOINTS IN THE LAB, BUT THAT'S NOT HAPPENING ANY TIME SOON IF EVER.
I'M HUNGRY AS SHIT AS I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE YESTERDAY AROUND 12P. ON THAT NOTE...
MAKE LIKE THIS MONITOR IS NOT BIG AS ALL FUCKADORE...
PEACE
...be calm...
THIS MONITOR IS FUCKING HUGE. IT DOESN'T PASS THE 2 BROWSER WINDOW TEST, BUT IT'S SURE AS HELL BEATS THE DUAL 17" CRT SETUP.
WOULDN'T MIND 2 OF THESE JOINTS IN THE LAB, BUT THAT'S NOT HAPPENING ANY TIME SOON IF EVER.
I'M HUNGRY AS SHIT AS I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE YESTERDAY AROUND 12P. ON THAT NOTE...
MAKE LIKE THIS MONITOR IS NOT BIG AS ALL FUCKADORE...
PEACE
...be calm...
let the mayhem cease...
the plan for this vacation is to straighten out my work areas in the hidouse. the lab & piano areas are organizational shit storms. yesterday i was thoroughly challenged by the wizenife & my therapist (you're goddamn right i have one). they don't think i can bang it out in a 24hr period...
dey don know me vewy well do dey...[cheese!]
so, today i will attack w/vigor the area commonly known as piano corner. this & the lab/office are 1st priority. creative logic & functional logic require that these 2 areas, if no others, have to be organized & clear. how can i study, compose, create, & feel w/o having my shit where it needs to be for full functionality? i can, 'cause i do it now, but nowhere nearly as effectively as i will when the shit gets organized.
i'm looking forward to bangin' this shit out like an evening of stroke olympics w/a thickimite...
make like i did not associate cleaning up w/a sexual reference...
PEACE
...be calm...
dey don know me vewy well do dey...[cheese!]
so, today i will attack w/vigor the area commonly known as piano corner. this & the lab/office are 1st priority. creative logic & functional logic require that these 2 areas, if no others, have to be organized & clear. how can i study, compose, create, & feel w/o having my shit where it needs to be for full functionality? i can, 'cause i do it now, but nowhere nearly as effectively as i will when the shit gets organized.
i'm looking forward to bangin' this shit out like an evening of stroke olympics w/a thickimite...
make like i did not associate cleaning up w/a sexual reference...
PEACE
...be calm...
Monday, July 20, 2009
culturally deprived...
being an African in the U.S. can be frustrating from a nationality/cultural perspective...
i'm not big on Black History Month anymore, 'cause i'm an all year around type of cat. but this isn't about that type of frustration. that is institutional frustration. the type that has been established & perpetuated by the standards of Western society. i'm looking more at the frustration of ambiguity caused by disassociation.
most European, Asian, & Latino citizens can associate some nationality w/their cultural heritage. whether or not they are patriotic to the U.S., they usually have some other nation to relate to culturally. Africans who are generationally embedded in the U.S. do not have this cultural identity. thanks to European enslavement, these cultural associations are completely non-existent in most cases. it's nothing to kill anyone over, but it can be highly frustrating.
i don't know if i'm Sudanese, Nigerian, Ghanaian, etc. the genetics are so muddled at this point that i probably cannot even determine such cultural association through physical characteristics either. there are genetic materials tests that will tell you what region of the world your family is likely from, but my understanding is that even these are general. besides, the real fucked up aspect is that at this point i'd be trying to play hundreds of years of catch up.
sometimes it appears other Ethnic groups do not appreciate the significance of this cultural ambiguity. when one disassociates by choice from their inherited culture that's 1 thing. not having an inherited culture at all is a whole other thing. it's not a choice you generally want to have forcibly removed.
make like cultural ambiguity is hot like that...
PEACE
...be calm...
i'm not big on Black History Month anymore, 'cause i'm an all year around type of cat. but this isn't about that type of frustration. that is institutional frustration. the type that has been established & perpetuated by the standards of Western society. i'm looking more at the frustration of ambiguity caused by disassociation.
most European, Asian, & Latino citizens can associate some nationality w/their cultural heritage. whether or not they are patriotic to the U.S., they usually have some other nation to relate to culturally. Africans who are generationally embedded in the U.S. do not have this cultural identity. thanks to European enslavement, these cultural associations are completely non-existent in most cases. it's nothing to kill anyone over, but it can be highly frustrating.
i don't know if i'm Sudanese, Nigerian, Ghanaian, etc. the genetics are so muddled at this point that i probably cannot even determine such cultural association through physical characteristics either. there are genetic materials tests that will tell you what region of the world your family is likely from, but my understanding is that even these are general. besides, the real fucked up aspect is that at this point i'd be trying to play hundreds of years of catch up.
sometimes it appears other Ethnic groups do not appreciate the significance of this cultural ambiguity. when one disassociates by choice from their inherited culture that's 1 thing. not having an inherited culture at all is a whole other thing. it's not a choice you generally want to have forcibly removed.
make like cultural ambiguity is hot like that...
PEACE
...be calm...
i love it when i'm feeling myself...
made a couple of interesting tracks today.
it's great to be able to listen to brand new music on a daily basis. it's even better when it's something that i put together in the lab. not to be on my own dick, but it is quite a rush.
i've been fucking w/music my whole life. i've pursued the creation of music since i was a little kid. high school found me fuckin' w/hip-hop & college w/house. there aren't too many forms of music that i will not listen to. i'd love to be able to compose in any genre i desire to.
i have to be far more vigilant about teaching myself theory. to be doing what i currently do w/o the theory makes learning the theory that much more exciting.
make like i wouldn't love bangin' out tracks at 2/day instead of 2/week...
PEACE
...be calm...
it's great to be able to listen to brand new music on a daily basis. it's even better when it's something that i put together in the lab. not to be on my own dick, but it is quite a rush.
i've been fucking w/music my whole life. i've pursued the creation of music since i was a little kid. high school found me fuckin' w/hip-hop & college w/house. there aren't too many forms of music that i will not listen to. i'd love to be able to compose in any genre i desire to.
i have to be far more vigilant about teaching myself theory. to be doing what i currently do w/o the theory makes learning the theory that much more exciting.
make like i wouldn't love bangin' out tracks at 2/day instead of 2/week...
PEACE
...be calm...
Sunday, July 19, 2009
not single, singular, solo, soloist...
i try to reach out to peeps & socialize. for whatever reason, i don't seem to find the right people to associate with myself. sometimes it seems like everybody hangs out but me. i can't front though, sometimes cats invite me to places and i either don't go or end up not going.
how are those 2 things any different? one's a decision & the other is a circumstance or gathering there of. either way, i'm working on trying to be more sociable.
good to be on vacation. it feels great to know i don't have to deal w/the talky for at least a week...
make like i didn't make a new track today w/o ever going to sleep after work...
PEACE
...be calm...
how are those 2 things any different? one's a decision & the other is a circumstance or gathering there of. either way, i'm working on trying to be more sociable.
good to be on vacation. it feels great to know i don't have to deal w/the talky for at least a week...
make like i didn't make a new track today w/o ever going to sleep after work...
PEACE
...be calm...
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