who built this...

me?

yup...

so, based on my studies of AVD, it would appear that i have succeeded in creating & maintaining an environment that is not conducive to the pursuit of my life's goals.

how's that?

• too many distractions
• not enough support
• way too little + human interaction
• too few + &/or creative outlets

in addition i've apparently taken a very counter intuitive approach to pursuing my career goals over the entire span of my legal adult life.

imagine that...

i suppose it ought to be mentioned that my choice of relationship(s) has not been representative of what my studies suggest would be best.

what a fuckin' combination!

so, what's next?

how the fuck would i know?

actually i do have some idea. w/o question i have to keep working on these issues. unfortunately, i need help that either does not exist, i cannot reasonably afford, or just isn't likely to be available to someone my age. it is what it is. there is some help available. i'm going to have to do what i can w/what is available.

the knowledge that i've gathered over the years would seem to be far more helpful in these circumstances. the nature of my AVD issues quite often prevents this from being the case. at least i know this. i have to retrain myself. i have to find a way to get through the down times which tend to be a major side effect from my inability to avoid the distractions that foul me up.

such is my existence. this is the foundation of my finite challenge.

it's so magical!

DOH!

make like personal issues change the nature of universal reality...

PEACE
...be calm...