sliding in on the way out...

that almost sounds like some pimp shit...

"hey baby, why don't you let me slide in on the way out..."

LOL!

i have this strange fascination w/being a pimp. i'd make a horrible pimp. i don't mistreat women. i view & treat women as my peers. i don't think pimps fuck around like that.

what would i look like saying "say bitch, where's my money? please!"

or even worse "excuse me ho, do you have my cash?"

nah, that's not a good look. i'm not down to be smackin' women around either. i do use the word bitch. i figure it's no different from nigger. fuck it. i say WTF i want. i'm a communicator...there you go...

i'm a vocabulary pimp!

i make these words do WTF i want them to. now i just have to get these bitches to bring me back my money.

where's my cheese beyotches!

i'm a pathological communicator & chronic thinker...that's a potentially lethal combo!

i will fuck a word up...do not fuck w/me...make me kick that symbolic ass you languified piece of vocabunous shit!

HNY2010! the dubdime approaches...

make like i am well balanced...

PEACE
...be calm...

i need to live in a bookshelftatorium...

i've been copping quite a few books lately. in all the sick hustle & bustle of trying to live like a regular person [READ SHEEP!], i forgot how much i love reading.

this brings me to an observation on some unusual human behavior: why do people only read 1 book at a time?

when you're a student in school you read multiple texts & are still able to comprehend the subject matter over time. why is it that all of a sudden for personal reading that a human can only look at 1 book at a time?

that's just bullshittery...

make like i'm not reading right now!!!

PEACE
...be calm...

image in that...

check this out.

i was thinking about some of the metaphors in the biblical myths. there is a persistent recurrence of the number 40. these incidents just happen to be some of the most memorable moments within biblical mythology.

so i'm thinking about this & my apparent leaps in understanding the nature of the universe. i've been walking around on the planet for 40 years. all of a sudden it's like "hey, i get it."

i got lost in the flood & had to find higher ground. i was wandering in the wilderness. do i have to go talk to some burning shrubbery to get people to listen to the knowledge i have to share. if the devil is the fallibility of humans, then i've been fuckin' w/that for the last 40 years too...

i can't say i'm a prophet. i don't feel that. i can say that i have science to share. someone called it insight. i'd say it's outsite....LOL! why would it be so hard for humans to comprehend that god is them & they are god?

make like god does not help those who help self...

PEACE
...be calm...

fuck lies...

i'm not saying i don't lie, 'cause i do. in fact, i can lie quite well.

i don't like to lie. also, for those of us who actually pay attention, most liars have tells. or i should say most people have tells. liars, the good 1's, figure these things out & find ways to fool the slow...

i can be fooled, but i'm far more adept at fooling other humans. this does not mean that i go around doing it. lying is not a generally rewarding activity to me. in fact, it's a fucking drain.

when you lie you have to defend it constantly. the truth needs no defense. it stands on its own. the truth will actually defend you if you fully embrace it.

i don't generally fuck w/lies. they do have a certain usefulness amongst humans, but this is only because society in general is controlled by such extensive networks of lies...

the truth is a beast that cannot be defeated by any human means...

make like i don't know what the word beast means...

PEACE
...be calm...

1 day perhaps...

this blog may actually end up being used as a mine for some kind of memoir.

i've been reading CMurphy's. that shit is funnay...yes, funn-a-y...

i'm converting files over. i hate going outta the crib anymore w/o

1. my media player
2. my dcam
3. whatever new tracks i've made on the media player
4. fresh bats in the dcam

i'm like all media all the time now. as long as it's not all this bullshit that comes on the dumbcasts these days.

goddamn!

fucking infomercial city anymore. fuck them.

make like i'm not on a mini ram waiting for these files to finish being tagged...

PEACE
...be calm...

fuck Scrooge & Xmas too...

i am not a Christian. i'm also not Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, agnostic, or atheist.

what am i then?

well, the truth would be something that most find offensive. in fact, the truth is something many would label blasphemous. too bad for them.

the truth is that i am god.

yes, that's not a typo.

i am not alone. i am also not NGE. i am universal spiritual.

WTF is that?

it is what is. there are no texts. there is only that which is true. the universe does not lie. it does evade. it does not err. it is not finite.

god is all things in existence. god is the universe. i am an extension in finite/physical form of the infinite reality that many humans label as the universe.

god & the universe are not separate & neither am i from the universe.

here's a special little treat: i'm not the only 1 who is...

all things in existence are the universe & that is god.

the problem seems to be that we as humans have gotten so disconnected from the universe that we've manufactured all of these religious ideas to fill in the gaps of that which we cannot know about the universe.

god only knows...yes, that is absolutely correct...

i only know...

make like i'm joking about being god...

PEACE
...be calm...

all is to be learned...

...for one can never learn it all...

at least not in the physical form anyway...

apparently there are things that occur in the way the mind makes connections w/the universe as one ages.

i believe this may result from the fact that as humans approach death we come closer to rejoining the ultimate consciousness which is reality, or the universe.

there are things that i have known for many years that i am now seeing in a completely different light.

in fact the whole idea of knowledge as light is taking new meaning lately. knowledge is infinite. light is energy. energy cannot be destroyed. knowledge can be lost by humans, but the truth of knowledge, its very essence of being within the reality that is the universe, can never be destroyed.

organized human social structures can purposely attempt to remove &/or obscure reality from other humans, but knowledge will eventually defeat those who make a habit of such practices. this can happen through death of traditions as generations fade into human history, or if humans truly attempt to pay attention to all the messages we receive from the universe, the universal truths are revealed.

there are clearly those of us who realize these truths & will stop at nothing to have them be known to other humans. i am not 1 of those cats. i will become no one's martyr in order to share what the universe tends to reveal to me.

what i will do however is build w/anyone who shows that they have a hunger for the truth of our very being as the consciousness that is the universe, even in human form...


make like devoutly religious humans have any idea what the universe is trying to tell them...

PEACE
...be calm...

truth light...

the posts are finally showing some light.

this is a direct result of the time i've been spending in the lab & working on all the other websites (as if there were that many)...

been listening to X-Clan's 1st for the last few days.

it's interesting to me sometimes to go back & listen to albums that i may not have initially given due credit to for their content.

gratuitous use of Parliament/Funkadelic aside, i'm not as put off by the strange appearance of Brother Jay & the pink vehicle as i was 19 years ago...

to comprehend that length of time w/in the context of hip-hop's current landscape is truly bugged the fuck out.

make like i fuck w/the current climate of radio friendly commercial audio...

PEACE
...be calm...

fucking screaming...

WTF!

it can be quite difficult to remain + around - energy from other humans. it is a distinctly difficult challenge.

unfortunately it is 1 that i have chosen to subject myself to for quite some time for various reasons during my 40yrs of traveling as a human.

i have dealt w/it in various ways over this time. some of the methods i have chosen to use are far more productive than others. sadly, some of them were extremely self-destructive.

best as i can determine w/my finite human reasoning is that one must draw on the infinite. use the strength of positive being to move beyond the negative. the challenge exists in the effort to do such things. the reward is in success.

unfortunately it seems that the challenge becomes so daunting at times that many humans, self included, resort to using human reasoning as opposed to universal being reasoning.

the constant challenge. the ever present choice: human ways or godly ways...

there is clearly a difference, & humans consistently fuck shit up...

make like it's my job to get others to let go of their negativity...

PEACE
...be calm...

would the world should care...

if the universe is infinite = god as most people seem to believe, then why wouldn't it follow that we are god?

my arm is me even though it is only a part of me. the door on my crib is my crib even though it is only the door.

in fact, we are most god oriented when we as humans come together & function as closely as possible to our full finite potential. to strive to be infinite would be frivolous, but that does not mean we cannot strive to be the best finite we possibly can.

the entire human race & its history is represented by our inability to fully perceive our reality as the grains of sand we are to the universe. the imaginary world of humans is so far away from the reality of the universe that we do not understand that Earth is heaven.

the most bittersweet creation of the human mind: hell...

how is it bittersweet?

the extent to which the human race has gone to create hell is quite amazing. unfortunately, the extent to which the human has gone to create hell is so amazing that it is almost unobservable to the cloud/blinded 3rd i...

make like any text written by humans can fully explain the realities of the infinite universe...

PEACE
...be calm...

& the light shineth...

light is an amazing metaphor for intellect/wisdom/spirituality. being infinite is nothing short of indescribably beautiful.

the words used by any human cannot possibly sufficiently describe or explain the beauty of the reality that we seem to neglect or be blind to.

if we were not such vain animals, what better would our experience in the physical realm be?

it's pretty well established that i do not believe in heaven or hell as actual places the soul goes upon ceasement of physical being. i have recently come to the proposition that Earth is heaven for those who appreciate it. for those who are too vain to see the light, the physical realm within which we exist is the only hell that will ever be known...

make like hell is a wonderful place...

PEACE
...be calm...

tight is tight...

i am on super grind time.

now more than ever i need to bang out these plans i have to start my own businesses. i no longer intend to deal w/working for inept management types who do not wish to support their staff, &/or ignore staff that is clearly fucking up...

time to be my own boss & kill the world w/sound...

make like unemployment covers all your expenses...

PEACE
...be calm...

coming to another human manufactured closure...

time is irrelevant in the scope of the universe's endless reality...

interesting how many humans believe that by monitoring our use of time w/human devices, we have somehow mastered time...

imagine that...

make like i went to a wack show this month...

PEACE
...be calm...

it isn't as difficult...

...to get shit done when you have support &/or assistance.

almost my entire life has been spent accomplishing goals w/little of either of the above. too frequently, peeps that were supposed to S&/OA my endeavors end up scabataging the shit outta whatever it is i'm trying to get done.

what i've started doing now is letting those cats catch toe out the do'...

fuck'em...

life is difficult enough w/o having people around who you think have your back & instead they have at your back. WTF!

i think i have a reasonable expectation to not be treated in such fashion, since i don't treat other humans this way, but it doesn't matter what i think when it comes to other peoples' actions...

on that note, i'm fucking hungry, so...BOOM!

grub manifestations to occur momentarily...

make like i wasn't about to eat some chicken scraps w/blue cheese earlier...scabatage...

PEACE
...be calm...

i believe that which is...

humans have been making up things to believe for so long that many of us have forgotten the 1 thing that you don't have to have faith to believe in:

the motherfucking truth...

WTF!

that's what i believe. the goddamned truth. fuck all the other human tainted bullshit that is & has been served...

give me the truth or risk the loss of your life & limb. is that too dramatic? noooooooooooo....

& if you think it is, then i need not fuck w/you...simple.

make like humans can accurately perceive & define that which is infinite...

PEACE
...be calm...

there is a reason why i don't fuck w/people...

...life thus far has shown me that the average human is so self-centered that they regularly cause harm to themselves, other humans in the general area, & most of all the very environment which is needed to survive.

i don't believe this is an individual character flaw. it manifests in individuals, but it appears to be so common that it is something inherent in the human interface.

attributes such as selfishness & inconsideration seem to stem from the finite nature of physical being. as highly regarded as the human mind & behavior seem to be by humans, we still exhibit many animalistic behaviors.

violence is something that humans do not seem to be able to do w/o. wars, arguments, fights, whatever-all these things represent evidence of the fallibility of the human decision making process. just because you can do something doesn't mean it needs or has to be done...

discipline...focus...balance...

now there's a trinity you can actually put some belief into...

make like i fuck w/religion at all...WTF!

PEACE
...be calm...

if you could truly comprehend...

...what it is that i perceive...

WOW!

not many arguments...

i'll put a little into human words & see what happens...LOL!!!

make like i care if peeps understand what i perceive of reality's existence...

PEACE
...be calm...

what an interesting perspective...

according to some recent research, the nature of my interpretation of the universe is historically African in its basic elements.

that's rather fascinating. i was clearly born in the US, & my donors were both born in the US. far as i know neither of them was particularly in touch w/any Pan-African identity or anything beyond believing the 60's had led to a 70's that did not require further activism...a whole other topic...

the point here is that the mind is not beholden to the finitudes of human existence. i would argue in fact that the perceived limitations of the human mind are actually the inabilities of the finite human interface to access the infinite aspects of the mind.

those of us who seem to be more spiritual, creative, possibly even prophetic, are more in tune w/the universe. i would argue that the minds of such people have access to more of the minds functioning than other humans do. doesn't mean they're better humans, it just means they are more able to decipher the messages of the universe in order to share them w/the other humans in languages that can be understood more easily...

make like you can take the universe out of anything in existence...

PEACE
...be calm...

and so it reveals...

the universal spiritualist perspective:

humans have the idea of 1ness all fucked up. literally it would seem that we have it all backward &/or scrambled the fuck up. WTF!

we try to adhere to 1 time, but we are many. we try to espouse 1 belief, but we are many. we try to be many ethnicities, but there is only 1 human. we try to have so many religions, but there is only 1 reality. most of all we try to be the center of the universe when such a thing doesn't actually scientifically exist.

the universe has no beginning & no ending according to current human astronomical studies. that means that it is infinite.

make like humans generally have any fucking clue at all...

PEACE
...be calm...

doc, i've got a CREPTA discharge...

what should i do?

LOL!!!

thanks to good old PT service SEPTA, i was discharged from the hated gig. [YAAAAAY!]

too bad the company was good, 'cause the gig sucked mammoth nuts. the sev package is nice. 2 weeks loot, vaca time left, & the last 40hrs i gigged...

can't be too mad at all that. looks like i won't have to wait 'til next year for the mixer after all...

unemployment will be my new friend, but i don't think i'll be out of work for too long...

make like i was even remotely shocked about being discharged...

PEACE
...be calm...

on the subject of seemingly useless skills...

there are really some wild things on the web. this is just wrong...



make like this isn't a crazy ass vid...

PEACE
...be calm...

DAMN CREPTA!

these motherfuckers are crampin' the shit outta my style right now. them & the bastards that shit on my vehicle situation.

oops, how 'bout i just got THE CAN! denh! denh! denh!

make like i actually wanted to stay at the hated gig...LOL

PEACE
...be calm...

a mind's visual metaphor for being...

either yesterday or the day before, i came up w/a visualization of how my mind functions &/or appears...

large gray blocks, ceiling, floor, no walls, bright light around 360 degrees

some blocks move fast/slow, some larger/smaller

sometimes blocks fuck me up

sometimes blocks prevent me from moving in any particular direction, etc.

make like this isn't some super abstract type shit...

PEACE
...be calm...

clearly SEPTA is fucking up...

WTF do you do when you need to talk to customer service to ask a specific question, but the phone is constantly busy...?

SEPTA is a managerial mess....WTF!

shit sucks, but it is what it is for the moment. i'm missing whole shifts of work while these ducks bob for pennies...

apoles...

gotta dump...BBIAM...

okay, that was quite stinkily unpleasant...TMI? fuck it...LOL!

just got off the phiz w/a SEPTA rep. i now know how i will have to travel to get to the hated gig. this is wild, 'cause i already go through a bunch of shit to get to work. now i have to find a lock for the 2-wheel so i can catch the regional rail joint out to the burbs. can't take the 2-wheel on the trizzle 'cause i'll be riding during the AM & PM rushes.

making it even shittier is that my $80 trizzie is now rendered practically useless. normally a trizzie discounts your train fare. this is only true of off-peak travel. i'm peak travel only for work. talk about being a bitch...

have to laugh at shit like this in life. [HA! HA!]

now to go find this lock for the 2-wheel...

make like SEPTA's management isn't royally fuckin' up at this moment in time...

PEACE
...be calm...

so begins a new 30 cycle of human oriented time...

if i ever tell any young human anything, it's going to be that the perception of time to humans shortens significantly as you get closer to your physical ceasement...

don't be in such a rush to reach that point in your human existence...

let the rats do what they will in their efforts to acquire the ever elusive cheese. the best bet is not to enter that race at all. if you're not a rat when you begin, you will become 1 long before the finish...

make like i don't l-ve having godren...

PEACE
...be calm...

not bad says i...

the 3rd that is...

thought i was gonna come up short this month as compared to the last few. i suppose by sheer numbers i may have, but considering the amount of web content i'm currently generating, this isn't bad...

i need to take a dump, wash my ass, & straighten out my damn clothes. i have yet to sleep today. WTF is wrong w/me? i'm hyped. aight, fuck it, i'm going to watch Florida whoop that ass...
make like i don't have to take a leak right now...

PEACE
...be calm...

universal will hurt you...

so i'm making my grind  journey yesterday PM & i came across my spiritual belief path somehow. not really important how, but what.

what?

what is the fact that no one can dispute that humans are an aspect of the universe. as an aspect of the universe, we are the universe, because the universe is all things & all things are a part of it. by the universe being infinite, all finite things are a part of it.

this means that we are god. calm down, this does not mean we can fly or anything idotic like that.

how?

because the universe is god. god is infinite. there are not multiple infinite things. there is 1. 1 infinite whatever it is. the only things in humanly observable reality that are infinite are time, the universe, energy, & whatever concept humans seem to have developed about god.

make like reality lies & human perceptions always tell the truth...

PEACE
...be calm...

to smash or not to smash?

what is a coward's fate?

to be controlled by fear until the challenge has been faced. i am not afraid to die. i am actually willing to say i am not afraid of a gun. i'm not trying to get killed, but i'm not afraid of death either.

there is such freedom in not fearing the ultimate ending of physical existence. can't say for sure that the spiritual continues after physical ceasement, but is that any reason to fear death?

too many people are too afraid to live because they're afraid of dying. fuck that. no fear of death, no fear of life, no fear...

make like the gigavisor is not a flaming coward...

PEACE
...be calm...

the tactics of manipulators...

...so i'm working these networking opps on acebook. this is not really work, but it is. essentially i engage & interact w/the peeps on my list who actually communicate. sadly some seem to only desire to broadcast their thoughts, wishes, & desires for the world to see. fortunately everyone does not seem to suffer from such vanity.

so again, i'm working the networking & some positive dialogue occurs as relates to the socio-politcal climate of the world. i mention that divide & conquer tactics coupled w/apathy is what keeps the status quo. the other acebookian responds in agreement, but from past status updates, it appears this person is a Christian of some sort. why is that significant?

what is the most common divide & conquer dynamic in current human relationships?

r-e-l-i-g-i-o-n

even within particular faiths, there is always division & disension. this only goes to show that humans do not all believe & function the same way. a perfectly universally reasonable observation. the problem is that wars have been waged by humans over perceived religious significance. what better way to keep the larger population occupied while you orchestrate various schemes & plans at their expense....

just a thought...

make like religion is not the ultimate divide & conquer technique...

PEACE
...be calm...

ha motherfucker...

i just realized that i can schedule posts to show up at some later date & time. GTFOH! i had no idea this was an option.

SWEEEEEEEET!

the fam met Melvin Van Peebles tonight. i'm salty as shit, 'cause i could've met this awesome creative as well.

he has a graphic novel. they got a signed copy...

SWEEEEEEEET!

i'm geeked. education is awesome. the wizin attended this event to cover a class assignment on African culture. do it...

i am really feeling this creative energy. it has brought a great new appreciation for life, even in times of harsh struggle, perceived or actual.

creatives are the shit...
make like i have had to work w/the slouchy dude at the gig

PEACE
...be calm...

using the mind to violate ears in my circumference...

my goal is to kill the world w/music...

i am on a mission. my entire life i have wanted to be 2 things more than anything else:

1. an astronaut
2. an artist

#1 is not happening any time soon. last i checked the govt. agency where i gig is not affiliated w/any interstellar travel duties for the govt. guess that's a good thing, 'cause that'd be a fucked up space program.

#2 is ongoing...

i am so creation oriented that i feel comfortable saying something so ambiguous as "an artist." i thoroughly enjoy the process of bringing newness to light/life...

if i had to be pinned down to exactly what kind of artist i am, i'd have to go w/musician and/or composer. more specifically, i should say i am an emcee/producer/engineer. i l-ve music.

i shall repeat:

I L-VE MUSIC!

is that a typo? nooooooo....

it's what i do. i live & love music. since the same set of letters covers both, i decided to just say fuck o-i. it has an interesting look this way: l-ve...

i l-ve music...

i shall now return to killing the world w/music...

make like i'm joking even a little bit...

PEACE
...be calm...

i've found that people are somewhat uncomfortable w/referring to humans of European descent in the U.S. as European. this is su-ronically humorous. why when you have Asian, African, Arabic, etc. Americans is it such an odd thing to say European American?

realistically, i have a problem w/being referred to as an American. there are 2 distinct continents known as the Americas. how is it that citizens in this particular region are deemed to be the sole holders of the name American's. seems quite arrogant.

either way, if applications say i'm an African, then they should call everyone else by their genetically perceived label. as such, you have Europeans...

WTFP?

make like i don't work for clown management & there's no circus at work...

PEACE
...be calm...

fuck Mac...

it's nothing personal. i'm just tired of the foolishness that gets spouted off by Macjocks. i'm no PCjock, bu com'on.

i use PC's 'cause they're less expensive to own & operate. even more importantly, i can run up in my PC & tweak the hell out of it when i so desire. can you say highly configurable?

i keep trying to tell people that Macs are for those who do not understand the inner workings of technology so well, and/or do not have the time to spare on such matters. a Mac is generally not superior to a PC.

it's more about preference than anyting else.

so few people realize that a computer is simply a tool & what really matters is the final product. the suggestion that a PC is artistically ineffective is absurd.

GTFOH!

so on that note, i'll likely cop a Mac 1 day, but not until i'm rolling in the loot...

make like you can't be creative on a computer w/o a Mac...

PEACE
...be calm...

just a wee bit...

it's highly likely that the post count here is going to drop significantly. seeing as how i'm populating acebook, witter, yspace, & at least 2 other blogs. i communicate effusively, but even i have limits. i'm not going to post just to be doing it.

i do enjoy being able to freely express my thoughts, dreams, wishes, aspirations, & whatnot. that said, i will be returning here to think, vent, & share those life tidbits deemed as necessary to recall at some later point in human time.

in short, i will continue to beast on the media...

make like i can find my goddamned cellphone...

PEACE
...be calm...

clearly you're a cowardly idiot...

ah yes, so my current managerial overling is certified foolish.

how do you have a worker who willfully does what you supposedly have clearly told them not to do & you do not relieve this person of their employment? WTF kinda bullshit is that?

as some would say, what part of the game is that?

looks like i'm making a trip to the HR department to file a formal complaint against someone in the near to immediate future. i hate asshole supervisors. where do these flacks come from? are all the quality managers at jobs where i don't work?

the positive in all this nonsense is that i realized i need to grind much more efficiently.

make like the gig is worth any of the stress it causes...

PEACE

...be calm...

a throwback holdover...

quite redundant i suppose.

regardless, being a universal spiritualist, i tend to thank the universe for revelations & life lessons. this week's events at the hated gig are an excellent example. i procrastinate far too much considering my level of talent & potential. these would be holdovers from the low self-esteem days. sad...

the events cracked my god time into brief sync w/common time. i need to get my ass moving & groovin' to get the fuck outta this gig. i have to kick my true career in the ass & get it moving forward at a more productive pace. i am audio. i have to be what i am & do watido as i like to witter...
and here's the throwback:

growing up as a Christian, imagine that, i was taught to thank god for the positives. i guess i was just supposed to ignore the negatives. no, i almost forgot, the negative shit was all the devil's fault. imagine...

fuck all that.

back to the throwback...

i still thank the universe for my lessons & perceived blessings. the huge difference is that there are lessons in the negative situations as well. as such, i thank the universe for all my lessons. why is this a throwback? based on the core of my belief as revealed by the universe, it does not quite matter if i thank or not. the universe just is. it does not need or require explanation. it answers to no one, especially not a singular individual in its infinite reality.

imagine that...

make like all things in existence including humans are not as grains of sand...

PEACE
...be calm...

there should be a stick for asshole management...

so you can beat them when they fuck up. i suppose it's a good thing there isn't such a thing, 'cause my arms would be sore from swingin' right now...

how do i manage to run across all these dickean management types? maybe it's the gigs that i'm working. whatever it is, i know if i work for me, i won't have to deal w/dickean behavior from anyone but potential customer/clients. a much better arrangement than working for a dickean is taking a dickean's $$$.

all jokes aside, i do not particulary like the reality deposit that was made this week. gotta see what happens next w/the gig. nutty ass manager didn't do his job, so i had to force his hand. how can you be so ineffective as a manager that you have an employee taking 2hr breaks during a shift where only 30min breaks are permitted?

fuck that.

make like this guy isn't a fucking coward...

PEACE
...be calm...

did i say i l-ve this music shit?

i'm really l-ving this thing w/the music.

i feel real good w/it right now. let's keep it movin' is the vibe whenever music is doing what it do.

this blog may get light over the next few weeks & months. i'm spreading my seemingly endless communicative energies across various sites & endeavors now.

this is really working for me creatively. i'm at the point now where i can go back & listen to old shit & be like "wow, i did this?" at the same time i can feed off of myself. & yet again i am still pretty absorbent w/o being a fucking biter w/other folks artistic visions & expression.

assets. gotta acquire the fuck outta these assets in this shitty ass capitalist society. i may not dig it, but i'm not changing it by myself & not enough cats want it changed apparently. gotta use it to fight it. use it to benefit the perpetuation of positive human experience...

make like i'm just like everyone else...mr. status to the motherfucking quo...

PEACE
...be calm...

must be given to be earned...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...

when i make my way, i'll be hard pressed to shout my g-donors. egg or spizerm, they really did a number on my overall psyche...

i learned things from both of them, but the knowledge had to be weeded out through many layers of bullshit & burden. believe, i love them, but too much of my life's baggage was inhereted w/no regard for my state of mind...

the positive of this is that i try to acknowledge & alert the godren of my humanistic flaws. i also apologize to them when i fuck up as humans do. it is my hope that my honesty will give them the means to reflect positively on our time together in this universe.

i l-ve my fam...unconditional...even the 1's i don't fuck w/...

make like you have to fuck w/fam members even if they're crazy as shit...

PEACE
...be calm...

what it be...what it is...what it do...

for some reason i thought Craig Ferguson was going off the air. perhaps, & hopefully so, i am/was mistaken. dude is pretty fuckin' funny. odd, but pretty goddamned funny. it's like watching Noah's Magical Ark for grown-ups.

Jimmy Fallon's show sucks polyp laden hemorrhoidal ass. i'm pissed about that 'cause i dig The Roots. been a Roots fan since i 1st heard Pass The Popcorn. if someone could just replace Fallon w/Ferguson, that'd be su-awesome....

one can dream can't one?

make like Fallon's show is the motherfuckin' 20 megaton bomb...

PEACE
...be calm...

and i said let there be light...

then behold, the fucking sky was filled w/the sounds of melodius funks & rhythmic distortions of reality...

i love making music. i'm settling into this shit more now. that producer's block a few weeks back almost did a # on me. that shit was good though.

1. 1. it showed me how 2 get out of 1 in the future...
2. 2. it made me focus on what moves me 2 make tracks anyway...

the fun of it makes the shit so much easier. it's not even like i'm working most of the time. i luv this shit....

make like i'm not fi'n 2 put my teef on somfin'...

PEACE
...be calm...

creative springs eternally from the universal wells...

feeling the muses lately. got myriad new ideas popping off in the head. ADHD time...

gotta keep shit focused & moving forward in the most positive directions, even when the diversions occur...

gotta be able to adjust the path of travel for maximum life betterment...

make like beats are not fun to make...

PEACE
...be calm...

soddaz balse in hur...

this weather is insane

1 minute it's breezy fall then all of a sudden it's muggy summer...WTF!

peeps get sick in this weather from not transitioning properly...

make like i didn't come back to this post days later w/no clue...
PEACE
...be calm...

so the world waits...

...& not a goddamned thing happens. how 'bout that. wait around long enough & a whole lot of shit doesn't happen.

apathy is a bitch w/a stank ass pussy.

i'm on my mini-rams today. the wizin took the PT payment device knowing full well she wouldn't be able to return it in time for me to travel.

fuckin' hate that shit.

good thing i didn't actually try to leave on fucking time today...fuck!!!

make like i'm not mildly bent from being transportationally sabotaged yet again...

PEACE
...be calm...

it's a CD celebration beyotches...

that's my impersonation of Chappelle impersonating Rick James...

some mild adjustments to the new formatting interface. i like it w/the exception of the missing spellchecker. DOH!

i use a significant amount of slangulation, but now i have to open Word to check my posts. is whatis...

5 years 400 posts. i really didn't think i'd keep this shit up like this. now the challenge is to continue to enhance the presentation. i'd really like to customize the look more. possibly even cop a domain for this joint so it's just themindstruth.???. i believe that's an available option...

make like i didn't acheive my production goal for the MMIX already...

PEACE
...be calm...

focus dictates...

...that i ignore the bullshit in my life as frequently as possible in order to rise above it...

...that distractions remain peripheral to my everyday grind...

...that i continue to study music theory in an effort to enhance my auditory library...

...that i continuously challenge myself to grow in effort to resist my finite intellect...

...that the godren be treated respectfully as the humans that they are...

...that i KIM at all times in order to reflect the constantly changing nature of the universe...

...that this blog just reached post #400...

make like my job isn't fuckin' up tonight...

PEACE
...be calm...

poor posture i rebuke thee…

recently i’ve become literally, painfully aware of the side effects of poor posture. being the size that i am means i don’t fit in quite a few places all that well. between low self-esteem, laziness, & just trying to fit, i've spent a great deal of time bent the fuck up over the years…

not cool…

lately i’ve been trying to consciously straighten myself the fuck out. exercise seems to help. this is especially true of stretching exercises. it would appear that many of the issues in my back, knees, elbows, etc. are not only the result of being sedentary, but of practicing poor posture as well.

ain’t that about a bitchinich…

so onward & upward, literally…

gotta get my shit straight...

get my tree on for real…

make like the doc that gave me the booty orthos didn’t tell me exercise wouldn’t help my peds…

PEACE
...be calm...

brrrr motherfucker!!!! brrrrr!!!!

could someone please tell me why the air is on in this joint? WTF! it's below 55° outside if i'm not mistaken & the air is on in this motherfucker. ain't that about a bitch...

i don't like cold. dick don't like cold. my ass doesn't like cold. cold is 4 scream, beverages, snow, etc. it's fuckin' chilly in here...AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

okay, i think i'm done w/this particular ram. i am really cold though. i'm wearing long sleeves & an undershirt, & i'm still goosebumpy...

unacceptable.

gotta post up the pics of the new 2-wheel. it's a beast.

had a breakthrough at the doc's this week. tapped into the perceptions i have of bad things creepin' around the corner when life seems to be going well. it would seem to result from the repeated violations of my egg donor w/regards to my joy in life as a child. taking my $$$ & toys my sperm donor gave me. never thought about it like that. that's why the doc visits are useful...

make like i'm not trying to get paid as a craft practitioner

PEACE
...be calm...

this was fucking blank...why?

say man...why'd they take away the spellchecker...?

oh well, guess i gotta go back to the old method of checking the spelling: cut & past to the word processor....

steadily approaching 400 posts on this joint...i'm somewhat impressed.

my friggin' phone alarm keeps going off...mayhaps i should go turn the damn thing off before i go off...

arrrrgh!

make like my eyes are not trying to close right now...

PEACE
...be calm...

+ reinforcement is the shit...

went to hang out at a fellow producer's lab. it's always good to spend time w/like minded peers. this is more so true when you're involved in an endeavor where there is much creativity, but  little room for constructive observation & criticism.

it's difficult to trust the opinions of people who don't live for music. they tend to follow the latest trends. i don't do trends. i do what i feel. the whole vibe is if you feel what i feel, then we have successfully created dialogue...

that's the primary goal of any communicative effort that i'm invlolved in.

make like i don't love making beats...

PEACE
...be calm...

& there arose on the horizon a glorious beacon of truth, hope & justice...

yes, it is just this serious...

i just had a major creative breakthrough w/my use of samples in my productions...

did i say major?

LOOPS ARE NOT A NECCESSITY! I REPEAT NO LOOPS = STILL SAMPLING...YAAAY!

still gotta work on mixing & making my own loops. it's a different sound when using loops & manipulating audio in rhythmic ways...

make like i'm not fresh...

PEACE
...be calm...

WTC & Sean Carter...

now that's an odd combo. how 'bout this guy's benefit concert at MSG for the PD & FD? of all the MC's whose skills i respect even though i don't dig their albums, Jay's gotta be the #1. this guy is sick. dunno know if he's outsold Em or 50, but he's got a far more impressive track record. Hammer was/is wack as shit, but he showed that hip-hop could be a commercially viable genre. Jay e-proved it by not only selling, but by having a string of hits & not being wack as shit. mayhaps i don't dig how he did it, but i can't front on what he did...

what if the show was at G0? boom! that's where it shoulda been. speaking of, i still have mad doubts about what happened there. how in the fuck do 2 large aircraft manage to get into urban airspace at such a low altitude w/o anyone questioning their activities? bullshit. dunno if it's a conspiracy or not, but it sure does smell funny...stinky...

make like there have been multiple terrorist attacks within the U.S. proper...

PEACE
...be calm...

gettin' it done...

WTF! witter is useful! acebook is a viable networking tool!

IDFBI! no joke, the social networking sites actually serve a utilitarian purpose. as an artist, this is refreshingly interesting. as a student of human behavior, this is fascinating. gotta say the witter thing fucks me up the most though.

it's utterly amazing how much personal convo comes across witter feeds...

for people that can be 'noid as hell on the web, many people don't even bother to protect their weets. amazing. can you say P-R-I-V-A-C-Y? perhaps not...

hey, it is what it is. the networking thing is definitely not to be slept upon. never front on networking. that shit gets it done everywhere. what you know = blah. who you know = BOOM! what good is it to know what you do when you don't know who to do it to...

make like it's not time to build...

PEACE
...be calm...

put that in ya ear & blaze it...

i stopped being Creative & decided to Sandisk instead...

so far so good. gotta figure out why i can't see the album covers. i'm pretty sure i know why. just gotta figure out how to fix it. feel bad for non-tech savy peeps that bought this joint. it tells you to install all this software to play audio, but you don't need it.

oddly, this may have something to do w/the lack of album art. gotta try to see if i can get the images to display w/o installing this extra software. if not, i'm good w/the audio. that's all i really need anyway.

gotta have my audio...i be fiendin'...

make like i don't have a great love for creating & listening to audio...

PEACE
...be calm...

as the struggle controls...

we do not want to unfold the drama. let that shit stay folded up...

we fight to stop the struggle from controlling our decisions, or shall i say negatively influencing our decisions.

to be distracted by the obstacles of the struggle to the point where we abandon our goals is to readily embrace defeat.

gotta keep the head not only above water, but moving in the proper direction to achieve goals. time can be confusing to the finite mind. considerations of time from the finite perspective of a human can lead to a sense of panic when pursuing one's goals. we seem to think we can only perform certain actions at certain times in our lives. sadly, this is a mental block that we create for ourselves that will prevent us from even formulating goals, let alone pursuing previously determined goals.

we must strive to maintain our goals in the face of adversity, but most especially when its source is our human perception(s) of reality...

make like this is easier done than said...

PEACE
...be calm...

i like to play w/my toys...

no not sex toys. although, when properly used w/consenting adults, those can be quite fun too. no i'm referring to the elements of sound that i use to create rhythms & melodies. i love making new music. i really have to learn more theory.

i'm such a horrible student when it comes to actually studying. i've always been able to pick things up rather quickly w/o studying. negative reinforcement, 'cause not everything can be picked up w/o studying...

i have to go on record as saying that witter is actually interesting. may have made this statement already, but i feel confident in making it again. if you freak the interface properly, it's quite a networking tool...

it's not what but who that determines the value of your knowledge in society...gotta network...

make like i'm not happy to have the new media player & the new 2-wheel...

PEACE
...be calm...

honesty motherfucker...

don't lie bitches.

that simple. don't fucking lie. that's some buzaza. this society is predicated on so many daily lies that no one really sees a problem w/it. fucks me up, 'cause i'm a generally honest bastard. it's not appreciated. straight forwardness is not valued at all.

when someone says "hey, how do i look?" you're not supposed to say "you look like shit!" you say that & you're an asshole. nevermind you're telling the goddamned truth. you have to be "polite" or "nice." fuck that. i'm saying "you look like shit," or i'm not answering the goddamned question.

why lie? who are you really protecting. fix your ego bitches. IDGAF who says what about me. if it ain't constructive, you can catch a giant dick & fuck off. fuck the bullshit.

grow the fuck up & get some nuts...

make like this post is not motivated by bullshittin' motherfuckers who get on my goddamned nerves...bitches...

PEACE
...be calm...

looks like another meaningless stone passing...

bloggle smoggle. steadily we approach post #400. i'm mildly impressed w/my apparent consistency here. when i began, i thought i'd bullshit & not keep up w/this thing. guess i forget my propensity for communicative energies. now that i'm sitting here fucking w/the 5th year of this "experiment" in expression, i have some new visions for its direction, & some old ideas that i still need to be implemented.

overall, i am quite satisfied w/the nature of content. can't say i'm happy about the readership, but fuck it. do what it do...

make like the my credit card didn't just get revoked by the company for apparently no reason at all...fuckers...

PEACE
...be calm...

i can't hear the beat i made...

i'm tired as shit, but my crazy ass is still posting this...doh!

i had something on my mind, & now i've essentially forgotten what it was...

oh well...

make like this post is not short as shit...

PEACE
...be calm...

aww hell's to the effin' no...

my media player seems to have finally said "fuck off," to me. what good is a media player that cannot be filled w/media? sumumabeyoch!

fortunately for me i copped a nice li'l 2GB media player for the youngest god. had to jack'em for it. awesomely, he likes to share, so it wasn't that big of a deal. ordered a new joint, but it didn't ship yet...arrrgh!

patience my dear sir, patience...

had to say fuck Creative. their prices are a little high, & their customer service is essentially pay-2-play, or fuck me as a customer. fucking w/Sandisk. no review yet, 'cause i didn't get the player yet...

make like this post is going to be fully fleshed when i 1st finish writing it...

PEACE
...be calm...

hey man, watch those damn movies...

been holding onto the same 3 Netflix for about a month now...not good...

make like i'm not going to try & stay up 2 watch all 3 joints at 1 time...

PEACE
...be calm...

somebody say "da blip..."

the system is spittin' update messages from all over the friggin' place...

irritating but apparently necessary pop-ups: legitimate security concerns.

make like i don't know how to keep my system relatively free of unknown threats...

PEACE
...be calm...

i'm rich motherfucker...

but not really though. emotionally perhaps, but definitely not monetarily.

the wizin often seems to be frighteningly unmotivated to change these financial circumstances. i have enough difficulty trying to keep myself focused & motivated to create opportunities for financial freedom, it can be difficult to try to keep the rest of the fam operating in that mind frame.

broke birds don't flock feathers together...

now that's fuckin' up a cliche...

that was fun.

make like i dig working w/2 clowns at the circus...

PEACE
...be calm...

i'm fucking famous...psych...

been having a relatively shitty dry spell w/the tracks for the last 2 weeks or so. fortunately, this came after a relatively nice creative rush. witter is nutty as shit. much like the other social networking forums, peeps seem to only be interested in those they already know, or celebrities. i'm like some kinda weirdo trying to actually meet new humans using these social forums. oh well...

gotta start leaving the crib earlier. SEPTA is killing me. too many days coming in missing hours. be nice to get a vehicle that didn't die on me 1 day...

one can fantasize can't one...

make like i'm going to blow up 'cause i'm fucking w/these pop sites...

PEACE
...be calm...

OMG!

okay, i've damn near sunken to a new low...

i'm fuckin' w/witter, mpace, & aceook...

if i didn't know me, i'd be scared of such symbolism...

3-phase attack...

got inspired to write a poem off of a acebook/witter app...imagine that...

okay it's time to do da dirt...

make like i'm not gonna start wil'in out on this blog during this annual cycle...

PEACE
...be calm...

stop w/the drink mix damnit...

being 270+ lbs means drinking significant amounts of alcohol in order to get a buzz. i don't like drinking beer/ale too much, 'cause it's too goddamned filling. i like to taste different beer/ale, but i don't like that full feeling. i will admit thought that when i used to drink malt liquor, i used to have great shits the next day...

i was supposed to go to a party yesterday/today, but logistics proved to be a bitch. after participating in this year's ff draft, me traveling any distance in distinctly rowdy weather was not a viable option. hopefully this year's draft will yield another champion. i fell off hard last year by sleeping through the draft. kinda hard to win when your team is picked for you by the commissioner from a shittily put together pre-draft list. i always kinda rework my preliminary list as the draft develops. this is so much easier now w/a 26" widescreen & tabbed browser windows...

speaking of winning teams, it is difficult as hell to do things w/the fam at times. seems like the godren are about as team oriented & motivated as the wizin in most cases. it's definitely a challenge. i'm not about control. i have enough to contend w/controlling me. i'm about mutual benefit & motivation towards common goals. it's hard to function in that fashion when peeps are like "fuck it."

make like these cats want to move forward w/any consistency...

PEACE
...be calm...

some people actually read these things...

just not this one...

why do people try so hard to pretend there are not racial issues in this country? it's sick. denial on such a large scale is quite disturbing. worst of all, some would seem to imply that Europeans generally have problems w/Africans as if the traffic isn't moving both ways on that street. in fact, many peeps would have you believe that the street is the lone thoroughfare in the entire neighborhood, no side streets, no intersections, etc...

just to be absolutely clear, i have no problem w/any human purely because of their ethnicity. you could be African, European, Asian, or Latino. if you do something i find disturbing or undesirable, i'm going to file that & keep it in mind in all future dealings. repeat violators are identified & dealt with appropriately.

at this point in life & w/my spiritual orientation, i don't have much use for ethnic designation.

make like religion will solve all your life's issues...

PEACE
...be calm...

...as fuckin' monkey nuts...

it's hotter'n a mafucka...

actually it's just humid as shit, but the moisture sure does feel most uncomfortable when combined w/the current air temp. dry heat is the shit. if i knew i could afford to live there, i'd move to Dallas in a hot minute...

get it?

went to court yesterday to receive some wonderful news that the lawyer who decided to help me out w/the vehicle situation was reaching beyond reasonable means in filing the lawsuit he filed. fortunately, i'm not expecting much from this situation. looks like my expectations are being met so far...

K.I.M.

make like no matter what happens, nobody gets paid off of this non-functional vehicle but me...

PEACE
...be calm...

i am sooooooooooooo bored right now...

my thoughts are not currently where i would like them to be. this could be the result of my body not being where i would like it to be. pulling some OT this weekend. been trying to earn some e-ducs to pop for the Allen & Heath. got close as hell last/this month, but i felt the need to replace the wrecked 2-wheel 1st. that banged out $700, give or take $50 (mostly take).

now it's lookin' like October for the mixer that was supposed to get copped back in May...sheesh! can't be mad at all 'cause at least i can still bank for it. it'd be fucked up if i didn't cop yet & there was no potential for future coppage. forward motion is the notion. K.I.M.. 'sides, still gotta cop a patch bay, rack, & various cables to get the whole setup rigged proper. still have to finish designing the workstation as well. dunno how much it's going to cost to have built, but i'll never know if i don't finish designing it...

so what it is? what it do? gonna go home & finish organizing my clothes...

5 more hours...

make like i didn't cop a bunch of shirts that don't fit quite how i like them 'cause they were on sale at FORMAN MILLS!!!...

PEACE
...be calm...

right, now where the fuck were we...

got the new 2-wheel. must say i'm quite beyond fairly excited. have to be careful putting this 1 together. last ride i built got fucked up 'cause i didn't adjust the gears properly. ordered a tool to assist in the proper fruition of this endeavor. must ride soon. not too soon though.

that seems somewhat twit-like.

aceook & ypace don't seem to be doing much for the music. have to do some relentless self-promotion type shit. i keep gettin' other shit 'sides the mixer. want to get the mixer before i really start fuckin' w/the vocals. gotta use the portable recorder until then. need to start fuckin' w/vocals in the mixes.

finally checked out 1 of my audio peeps. got some positive feedback. this is good. never good to create in a vacuum. don't expect peeps to like everything, but i don't want to just go by my ear & the fams. gotta get trusted audio opinions whenever reasonably possible. didn't realize how hard it would be just to get cats to listen to my shit. it's cool. nothing truly worth having comes with great ease.

this is a welcome & enjoyable challenge. for 1nce in life i'm really enjoying something that i can potentially develop into a career.

bus' it...

make like i can wait to wip the new 29'er...

PEACE
...be calm...

when the beans are not heated...

sometimes i enjoy just being the odd fuck that i am. this is not something that i've always been comfortable doing. i used to be discomforted by the somewhat glaring difference between the way my perceptions present reality & the way many others seem to perceive that very same reality.

here's an interesting philosophical consideration:

if everyone's perception is different, & reality is defined by what we perceive, what represents reality when we perceive nothing at all?

it's the commonness of the human experience that defines most of what we consider real. experiences outside of the common area are usually seen as either outright fiction or the product of distorted human perceptions.

what do you do when the majority of your perceptions seem to be outside of the commonly accepted range of perceived reality?

this post was supposed to be about the new 2-wheel. dunno WTF happened...

make like this diarrhea mouth dude isn't so trifling that he coughs w/o covering his constantly running mouth...

PEACE
...be calm...

unplug that fool...

sorry for the shameful plug, but comfy drawers is comfy drawers. can't be walking around in the streets on cripple feet w/wedgies 'n' shit. no need to be completely uncomfortable...

i must say, i truly enjoy crafting some new sounds into the form of a track. i have to honestly say that if i never get any ducks doing this shit, i'm not likely to stop. it's fun as shit knowing that i can essentially listen to new music any time i feel like making a new beat.

AWESOME!

seriously, this is some fly shit to me...

make like making beats all day isn't something that i could get used to doing...

PEACE
...be calm...

how it's hangin'...

Amazing Socks

Men's 2 Pack Athletic Pouch Collection Midway Brief with Fly Great for sports, our exclusive Midway brief provides extra coverage to reduce chafing and increase comfort. Extending down to the mid-thigh, cool cotton fibers and a touch of spandex offer breathability and additional stretch fo...
Jockey Men's 2 Pack Athletic Pouch Midway Brief with Fly

get off my jock(ey)

Waist: Feels true to size

Pros: Breathable, Good Fit/Support, Soft, Comfortable

Best Uses: Casual, Everyday

Describe Yourself: Comfort Driven

i did not realize how important comfortable underwear are until i wore my first pair of these. i instantly realized all the suffering i have experienced for the last several years wearing too loose/tight briefs, boxers, & boxer briefs. wow!

make like this isn't the real deal...

PEACE
...be calm...

hey! don't fuck w/the crazies...

i don't fuck w/crazy people like that. seems odd to say for an admitted crazy fucker such as myself, but fuck it. crazy people will fuck your life up if you let them. i try not to allow my crazy to control and/or permanently alter my life. it is a constant battle.

unfortunately, some crazy fucks do not make much effort to combat their crazy. if you spend too much time around these types, you'll find you suffer as a result of their craziosynchrasies. i've had enough experience w/these types in my life to know to stay the fuck away from them. my gene donors are/were great examples. sad but true.

the wizin is crazy, but i try to work our respective crazies together for the sake of a cohesive fam unit. sometime i wonder if this is the best idea in the world. the primary goal is to establish a stable model for the godren. unfortunately, it seems that crazy draws crazy.

this nut job that associates w/the wizin did some e-stupid shit last night. broad panicked over some miscommunication & tried to get the wizin jammed on some kidnapping shit. WTF! talk about a nut. i'm bent about this shit...

i do not like fucking w/crazies...

make like people are any less phony on aceook than they are in real life...

PEACE
...be calm...

you crazy fuck...

i'm throwed off, and i've often thought about offing cats that irritate the shit out of me, but it's highly unlikely that i'll ever actually do some shit like that. i don't really find the need to remove other humans lives for no apparent reason other than my distorted sense of reality. WTF...

this nut ass dude that shot up the gym. com'on dude. let's see here: i don't get pussy, so i'm going to go shoot up a fitness class full of women. this cat is so whacked out he turns the light out on these people before he starts blazin'. super nutball style...

i didn't know being a mass murderer got you pussy. DOH!

this guy had some family somewhere. those cats apparently missed the signs that captain wackido needed some extra attention. this proves once again that the most dangerous crazy peeps are the ones who don't recognize their own dysfunction. i know i'm throwed, so i go to fucking therapy, & i keep a close eye on myself.

i suppose if i hadn't had sex except twice & not had a jawn since '84, i might take a trip to the other side as well. nooooooooooooooooooo! my crazy doesn't get down like that.

make like dude doesn't look like most nutty peeps in the news: straight whack job...

PEACE
...be calm...

you believe that shit...

i passed a thought through today about why so many humans are so adamant about believing things that clearly make no sense in light of reality & the nature of the universe. i believe these people just don't want to think about it. it's a hell of a lot easier to not think about how crazy what you believe is than it is to go crazy finding out that what you believe makes no sense at all.

it's truly fascinating to understand the prevalence & perpetuation of religions amongst humans. if one really studies the foundations of these organizations, it suddenly becomes apparent that the basic messages are the same.

make like being a particular religion actually determines the outcome of life...

PEACE
...be calm...

do i make you horny baby...

i feel sorry for people who do not have enjoyable sex lives. i've had some issues here & there w/dry spells in the past, but i've been fortunate as hell overall.

i can honestly say that i've never had a "dead" fuck. i've also gotten some pretty awesome head on a regular basis in most of my relationships. the favor was readily returned.

i don't like to brag on my dick. DICK! [i know, juvenile...just fuckin' around...] really though, dick bragging usually doesn't work out. it's better in most if not all cases to let your stroke speak for itself. between anecdotal evidence from honeys & sharing stories w/other dudes, those that talk shit about their dicks are usually just that: full of shit.

why advertise? closest i ever came was this jawn in college who wanted to question my freak. i kindly proceeded to inform her that i don't talk, i do. needless to say, she pressed the issue. i ended up pokin' a few hours later. the ass was mega chunky.

i can honestly say i'm a sucker for a chunk booty. tits are not all that important to me sexually. you gotta have an ass though. an ass, some hips, legs, & a nice grill will have me acting the fuck stupid. fortunately i'm older now & i know how to curb certain instinctul behaviors.

either way, i've always dug honeys. sexy is the ultimate qualifier though. i say this 'cause a jawn could be ugly as fuck & still be sexy enough to catch a poke-a-thon. shit happens...

make like i have a super shitty average sex life...

PEACE
...be calm...

beauty comes in many shapes & forms...

i'd have to say i enjoy most of them. obviously my primary focus on beauty is directed towards women. [big friggin' surprise] while this interest occupies a great deal of my thought on beauty, i consider many, many other manifestations of beauty.

music
sculpture
paintings
poetry
photography
animals
landscapes
plants
etc.

i love the beautiful things of life. sadly the current nature of human existence does not frequently allow for the stopping & smelling of flowers. beauty & enjoyment of its representation is neither encouraged nor respected as purposeful. i'd have to say the less affluent a human is in capitalist society, the less opportunity there is to pause the everyday life long enough to absorb the various presentations of beauty.

guess i'm feeling artistic at the moment. no matter what else i do w/my human existence, i will always manifest my universal energy in its creative forms most predominantly. i am most at peace when either creating or enjoying creations...

make like i don't love creating...

PEACE
...be calm...

let us prepare to begin again...

boom!

another year of bloggery produced. it will be interesting to see when this madness actually ends. this effort will now enter into its 5th year of written consciousness. how appropriate this month's postings have established a new blogstone for post/month. the calendar year's posts are already way beyond any previous year's production. i guess i'm more committed than in the past to maintaining this ongoing document of human expression.

gotta get up in PS & make a new banner for the title joint. something a little more image oriented seems to be in order. dunno when that's gonna happen. focus, focus, focus...

i am going to pass the fuck out tomorrow when i get home from the gizig.

make like i don't miss being able to go for a walk at will...

PEACE
...be calm...

and so another year passes...

so WTF to post about? is it posting? is it talking? is it writing? we'll go w/posting...

so WTF?

tried to get a new bike since the frame on the old 1 is trashed. 1st time i ever knowingly wrecked a bike frame in 1 of my infamous bike wrecks...

the nut ass website fucked up my order & then proceeded to provide a horrible rendition of customer service. i'm pissed 'cause it looked like a great deal. deal or not though i don't like giving my loot to asshole businesses. fuck'em...

make like customer service is not important at all...

PEACE
...be calm...

wash that stankin' ass funk off...

i truly relish the ability to listen to tracks of my own creation while completing the various activities that comprise my life. it is a joyous experience. it can combine so many different pleasurable things into a single experience. although i can no longer walk normally, i can take my media player out w/me & lounge in my mind as i view this world that we so frequently abuse as humans.

it's always been a favorite activity of mine to wash my ass while i'm listening to audio. i suppose i'd watch movies in the shower if i could, but my funds aren't collecting like that. that would be clearly materially excessive, but i am a mediavore. i now listen to music while watching TV (very minimally of course), & DVD's. it's a very rewarding experience to do both. it's hot when 1 of my tracks seems to match the mood/vibe of whatever film happens to be playing. gotta love it.

it is important for me to maintain my path in my careerial endeavors [yes, i just made that shit up. slangulation motherfucker...]. this music shit is not a passing phase for me. trick for me is finding a way to make this work financially, or finding a working path financially that will allow me to continue to compose, mix, & record at my leisure.

tricky, but not impossible...

make like i can just go to a studio & apply for a gig...

PEACE
...be calm...

beating away the darkness...

when shit doesn't go right, as happens frequently w/plans in life, the best thing is to K.I.M. this is within reason. you don't want to be playing at a beach in the water after seeing a shark swimming nearby. K.I.M. in that case would mean get that ass outta the water...

i'm none too pleased w/the NYC trip outcome from Friday. this is why i tend not to plan things w/the wiz in mind: too disruptive. cooperation is the key to the success of this unit. far too often it is not a readily available commodity. the result is quite a bit of cleanup & restructuring activity. takes away from actual doings on a regular basis.

the frequency and/or nature of sabotage can be quite a downer. couple that w/the current aggravated condition of the peds & you've got the approach of a depressive episode. i'm fighting that shit. perhaps i should go find a church somewhere a la dude i went to HS with. Jesus will save my life...

it will never cease to amaze me that people think their religious beliefs actually change what the universe is doing. it only affects what you do in the universe. it shapes your thoughts & actions, not the entire universe. the universe continues no matter what you happen to believe. it doesn't need human beliefs to exist...

fortunately connecting w/advanced consciousness can help alleviate some of the obstacles created by being a finite being. it isn't saving the world, but knowing this shit is fleeting can give great perspective. as i get older i'm finding my thoughts & consciousness can be trusted companions. this is becoming more apparent as my efforts to socialize are not all that well rewarded. my perspective can be too foreign to some...

as w/so many things in life, the key is still K.I.M.

make like foot pain is awesome...

PEACE
...be calm...

my life w/a saboteur...

the wiz is not someone w/whom to make plans. she seems to relish somehow, inadvertently messing up plans. there is almost always the most sincere sense/feeling of remorse coupled w/profuse apologies, but the damage is usually complete & irreversible.

after 10+ years i've come to expect it. i suppose this is a fatalistic approach, but it has happened so repeatedly, it'd be utter stupidity on my part not to acknowledge its existence. relationships are extremely contingent on certain tolerances being established. certain boundaries can be violated mildly. other boundaries must be maintained at all costs. the balance & its maintenance makes or breaks any relationship between 2 humans.

tried to go to the NY for our anniversary. did not happen. the wiz single handedly squashed the whole trip by giving me "time to get ready." imagine. she of it takes 3-4 outfits to get dressed thought he of 1 outfit & done, needed extra time. as a result, she returned to the domicile at an hour that completely negated any & all travel to our proposed destination. sadly, i paid in advance for entry fee. to make the wound sting a little more, i bought train tix 1s before realizing it was too late to catch the train. [oooops!]

it would have been cool overall if i did not have to foot it from Broad St. to the crib. now my peds are the court jesters of pain.

make like not being able to walk normally is the motherfucking bomb...

PEACE
...be calm...

feeling the funk...

olfactory senses are quite important to my life experience.

there are certain smells that i associate w/specific life experiences that are vividly recalled any time a particular smell is about.

1 of my favorites is the smell of those tree car air fresheners. typical thinking would likely assume it's because it reminds me of my 1st ride. no. the memory is that of the video store where i was 1st able to rent porn. for some reason, the porn box (a little ass room in a big ass store) was freshly stocked w/1 of those tree car fresheners. so, every time i smell those damn trees, i think porn...

another is the smell of grass & rain during the warmer seasons. these remind me of my summer's at my paternal family's property in the beautiful rural area of VA's Eastern Shore. little Indian named towns all up & down US-13. i used to stay outside until the 'squitos came out & fucked up my skin.

i am also quite fond of musks. i don't remember exactly what age i was, but i remember learning that we all smell different. i became familiar w/the smell of my sperm donor. he used Right Guard in the tall brown can. this is years before leave-no-stain roll-ons & anti-perspirants. i knew his natural smell as well. the egg donor doesn't have a specific smell, unless you count the smell of old pads in the bathroom trash can. [ewwwww!] perhaps because i spent all my time around her instead of him, i didn't feel the need to assign her smell a slot in my funk memory...

make like a pleasant crotch musk is completely unimportant...

PEACE
...be calm...

SIZE DOES MATTER...

IN RECOGNITION OF THE NEW MONITOR, THIS POST LOOKS LIKE THIS...

THIS MONITOR IS FUCKING HUGE. IT DOESN'T PASS THE 2 BROWSER WINDOW TEST, BUT IT'S SURE AS HELL BEATS THE DUAL 17" CRT SETUP.

WOULDN'T MIND 2 OF THESE JOINTS IN THE LAB, BUT THAT'S NOT HAPPENING ANY TIME SOON IF EVER.

I'M HUNGRY AS SHIT AS I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE YESTERDAY AROUND 12P. ON THAT NOTE...

MAKE LIKE THIS MONITOR IS NOT BIG AS ALL FUCKADORE...

PEACE
...be calm...

let the mayhem cease...

the plan for this vacation is to straighten out my work areas in the hidouse. the lab & piano areas are organizational shit storms. yesterday i was thoroughly challenged by the wizenife & my therapist (you're goddamn right i have one). they don't think i can bang it out in a 24hr period...

dey don know me vewy well do dey...[cheese!]

so, today i will attack w/vigor the area commonly known as piano corner. this & the lab/office are 1st priority. creative logic & functional logic require that these 2 areas, if no others, have to be organized & clear. how can i study, compose, create, & feel w/o having my shit where it needs to be for full functionality? i can, 'cause i do it now, but nowhere nearly as effectively as i will when the shit gets organized.

i'm looking forward to bangin' this shit out like an evening of stroke olympics w/a thickimite...

make like i did not associate cleaning up w/a sexual reference...

PEACE
...be calm...

culturally deprived...

being an African in the U.S. can be frustrating from a nationality/cultural perspective...

i'm not big on Black History Month anymore, 'cause i'm an all year around type of cat. but this isn't about that type of frustration. that is institutional frustration. the type that has been established & perpetuated by the standards of Western society. i'm looking more at the frustration of ambiguity caused by disassociation.

most European, Asian, & Latino citizens can associate some nationality w/their cultural heritage. whether or not they are patriotic to the U.S., they usually have some other nation to relate to culturally. Africans who are generationally embedded in the U.S. do not have this cultural identity. thanks to European enslavement, these cultural associations are completely non-existent in most cases. it's nothing to kill anyone over, but it can be highly frustrating.

i don't know if i'm Sudanese, Nigerian, Ghanaian, etc. the genetics are so muddled at this point that i probably cannot even determine such cultural association through physical characteristics either. there are genetic materials tests that will tell you what region of the world your family is likely from, but my understanding is that even these are general. besides, the real fucked up aspect is that at this point i'd be trying to play hundreds of years of catch up.

sometimes it appears other Ethnic groups do not appreciate the significance of this cultural ambiguity. when one disassociates by choice from their inherited culture that's 1 thing. not having an inherited culture at all is a whole other thing. it's not a choice you generally want to have forcibly removed.

make like cultural ambiguity is hot like that...

PEACE
...be calm...

i love it when i'm feeling myself...

made a couple of interesting tracks today.

it's great to be able to listen to brand new music on a daily basis. it's even better when it's something that i put together in the lab. not to be on my own dick, but it is quite a rush.

i've been fucking w/music my whole life. i've pursued the creation of music since i was a little kid. high school found me fuckin' w/hip-hop & college w/house. there aren't too many forms of music that i will not listen to. i'd love to be able to compose in any genre i desire to.

i have to be far more vigilant about teaching myself theory. to be doing what i currently do w/o the theory makes learning the theory that much more exciting.

make like i wouldn't love bangin' out tracks at 2/day instead of 2/week...

PEACE
...be calm...

not single, singular, solo, soloist...

i try to reach out to peeps & socialize. for whatever reason, i don't seem to find the right people to associate with myself. sometimes it seems like everybody hangs out but me. i can't front though, sometimes cats invite me to places and i either don't go or end up not going.

how are those 2 things any different? one's a decision & the other is a circumstance or gathering there of. either way, i'm working on trying to be more sociable.

good to be on vacation. it feels great to know i don't have to deal w/the talky for at least a week...

make like i didn't make a new track today w/o ever going to sleep after work...

PEACE
...be calm...

wooo! hooo!

vacation time mudda fugga!

on a more serious note, the last 24hrs' reflections brought to mind yet another disturbing reality of human nature & organized society.

humans are willing to commit great acts of violence over perceived and/or imaginary slights/insults. in fact, many of the conflicts that humans find themselves involved with are the result of defending some commonly accepted imaginary boundry. said boundry can be physical, geographical, and most often psychological. can't say i've never been guilty of such behavior, but it's sad.

we tend to consider ourselves so highly advanced in comparison to other creatures, yet we still exhibit numerous primitive behaviors that are detrimental to our survival collectively & individually.

make like humans aren't the most destructive species on the entire planet...

PEACE
...be calm...

so be dat...

sometimes i wonder who the fuck i am. at this age you would think i'd know that answer w/o question. perhaps this explains some of my persistent difficulty w/getting my shit to go where i'd like it to be in life...

i know 1 thing w/o question. i have a certain resilience/persistence that has kept me from being completely devoured by my questionable psychological states. it seems to be quite a bit easier to move around when there are people who support your endeavors, but fuck it, i have to work w/what i have available.

can't just fold up & quit.

i find it disturbing sometimes that i do not have more of an influence on the godren's everyday doings. i feel like the wife teaches them things that will cause them problems as humans in this society. it can be difficult. she'll say she understands, but she keeps doing the same shit. the godren pick up on it as functional behavior. i've gotten to the point now where i'm often like "fuck it." i don't want to give up on'em though. it's definitely challenging...

not quitting is the best way to teach them not to just quit when shit gets shitty. definitely 1 of life's most important lessons. quitting is easy as hell. the great accomplishments of life don't usually come from quitting.

word to the syllable pronoun...

make like you know what the fuck that means...

PEACE
...be calm...

is there hope yet...

looks like i may actually get a friggin' vacation this year.

this would be quite awesome considering. granted, i'm not going to be going anywhere, but at least i can not go in to work for an entire week & still collect my ducats...

yesh!

this year's vacation motto is "please, please, no damn fleas..."

i'm going to be doing a lot of organizing, cleaning, shredding, recycling, & most importantly, relax/sleeping. hope i don't irritate the fam too much. they act like they don't want me around the crib sometimes because i remind everybody about keeping the crib some kinda neat. i hate when they try to make me out to be the bad guy. mostly i just try to promote the value of organization & focused energy in defeating life's obstacles. hopefully they'll realize that 1 day...

make like i'm not going to be bangin' out some new tracks next week...

PEACE
...be calm...

hey man, you fuckin' up...

ummm...

i overloaded the fonts on the main PC in the office. oops! tried to use oto op & the damn thing took forever to load. went to edit/create something & the lag was horrendous.

good thing i know how to fix my own shit. oogled the hell out of overloading the fonts & found out that's exactly what i'd done wrong.

insult to injury, i tried to remove them all at once & fucked up the whole system for a few seconds. kinda hard for the OS to display text w/no available fonts...

[cheese!]

on a more hot note, the beat progression is coming along. vacation's coming up & it looks like the mixer is finally going to be making a home in the stizudio.

[yaaay!]

make like Cap'n Talky-talk didn't sleep damn near all of what was left of his shift when he came in...

PEACE
...be calm...

a questioned reality's conclusions...

if you're not doing what you really want to be doing in life, what do you change w/o losing your identity as an individual?

this question is sponsored by my life condition as compared to my desired life condition, tempered w/a heavy dose of reality on the side.

can't say my life is all fucked up & shitty, but it ain't quite a rose bed either. the main thing w/me is to keep moving in a forward direction. stagnating helps nothing. i know i'm not the only 1 w/dysfunctions, but mine seem to have their way w/my life plans too frequently for my liking.

what to change to stop the negatively recurring events? some things unknown, some things known but difficult to change. the game of life is easily lost & difficult to play, but can be won. what does winning mean in this game?

no one can answer that question but the individual asking. what is worth the loss of life? what is gained by sacrifice? what is sacrifice? WTF am i going on about?

feeling kinda down. my unit is not well put together. it is not the most supportive at all. i tend to attribute that to the fact that i have never really known what support is. how could i possibly endeavor to surround myself w/a supportive unit when i'm generally unfamiliar w/the concept, let alone the experience?

the challenge is to keep working towards the goals regardless of the support levels within the unit...

make like it is easy for me to be who i be...

PEACE
...be calm...

why i do these things...

...because i am...

saw George Lopez on some interview show today. i think my human interaction skills are such that i would get great interviews w/cats. problem is no one talks to the no ones. have to establish self as someone to be talked to in such a capacity. been working on it for a while now, but i guess not hard enough.

people don't just say "yeah, i'll let you interview me..."

listening to 1 of the newer tracks i made. it's kinda on the mellow tip. oddly, i was aiming for something significantly more hype in the original design. i don't study nearly enough music theory as i should. i'm still earing the fuck out of everything. gotta get this shit down so i can compose w/my ear & my mind...

i expect that'll be real fly...

some shit is just nice to listen at. i find this particular track quite relaxing. wouldn't quite call it 1 of the beautiful 1's, but it does sound pleasant to my ear...

make like i ate any food all day today...

PEACE
...be calm...

aired o-u-t...

goddamnit. i'm pissed off about Steve McNair. dude fucked up. let's just say that i'm an expert on crazy chicks.

this chick looked crazy! WTF Steve?

i guess dude was having a midlife or something. how do fuck your shit up to the point where a side jawn offs you in your booty call crib?

dunno if he lied to her about the whole divorce thing, but if he did, damn...

if you've got to lie to get some pussy, you ought not be taggin' the booty you're trying to tag. it just isn't worth the drama that comes later. obviously this is an extreme case, but again, WTF Steve?

i feel sorry for his sons. who knows what kind of psychological/emotional issues they're going to develop from this bullshit.

the voices of choices speak forever, whether you choose to listen to them or not...

make like this chick did not go out like a stone cold nut...

PEACE
...be calm...

i like Mike's music, but com'on...

okay, enough already.

the only good thing about the Mike overkill currently infecting the media is that an artist i like has finally become larger than life. Mike is now like friggin' Elvis. i've already heard peeps comparing his legacy to Elvis'.

here's an idea, combine the 2 cribs & call it NeverGrace!

does anyone else really believe those kids are in any way, shape, or form the genetic offspring of Mike?

i still don't think Mike's dead...

make like i've been wearing out my Mike audio...

PEACE
...be calm...

here's a timeless question...

why do Africans in the U.S. celebrate 7/4 just like Europeans?

i've never understood that about the African community in the U.S. technically independence for Africans did not occur until a century or 2 later. the sad part is that many of the wars fought by this country would not have been as successful if not for the involvement of African troops. this is most ironically true of the Civil War. there would be an extra country in North America had it not been for African troops saving the U.S. military effort against the C.S. military.

for all the talk about Lincoln, the Emancipation Proclamation would have been completely useless if the C.S. had not lost the war. imagine the U.S. telling British citizens that they no longer had to follow the laws of their recognized governing body. even better, how about a law gets passed in the U.S. that applies to the citizens of China. doesn't make any sense at all.

history is amazing if you actually pay attention to it. learning not to repeat mistakes is an awesome thing to do. too bad most people find history unimportant. it isn't the dates, it's the lessons...

make like people don't just follow along blindly w/o thinking or asking questions...

PEACE
...be calm...

i hate monsters...

my love of beauty causes me great discomfort when i'm out in public...

i decided to hang out around the gig today 'cause going to the crib would have prevented me from getting any sleep. the dude across the street doesn't EQ his PA system very well & it kicks out too much on the highs. whenever there is a block party, i have to listen to this horribleness. it isn't even that i don't dig most of the music selection, it's the EQ and the discomfort experienced by my ears...

what does that have to do w/monsters? not a goddamned thing...

it does explain why i had to see 2 beasts at the mizall while waiting to go back to the gizig after putting some food in my fizace. ewww...

the 1 chick was nasty swellulitten w/a back'too. i'm talking nasty stretch marks & everything. yeech! i don't have a problem w/stretch marks. they happen. i've seen perfectly attractive females w/stretch marks. i suppose it all depends on where & how they appear. these particular marks were not of the passable type.

monster #2 had a busted grill while wearing a tight ass stretch dress that she apparently did not realize was too freakin' small for her. how can you tell when stretch clothing is too small? when it rides up and doesn't feel like making the trip back down to cover the rear crotch of your panties...

now that's nasty as fuck. she came outside like this. WTF! the worst part was they posted up at the bus stop right in front of me. bleech! thankfully, the bus came just after they came & sat down in the waiting area. yaaaay!

got me the fuck outta there...

make like i didn't feel sorry for the dude hanging out w/these 2 mud ducks...

PEACE
...be calm...