to read or not to read...

there isn't much of a question there at all. since i have yet to generate any comments, i think it's safe to say few if any eyes peruse these words. in a way that's good. this way if i decide to talk shit about somebody 'cause they pissed me off, they won't know about it. not like it makes a difference either way.

so, Peter Parker revealed his secret identity. WOW! as you can see, i really have a lot going on in my life. i'm just so fucking busy. anyway, i'm actually bored as all hell. my plans for this summer are pretty much tanked until i find a new gig. i hate looking for gigs. i hate being out of work, but i hate the pretentiousness of job searching. i think it's my straightforwardness. i'm not one to bullshit. i try to avoid people who bullshit, but most interviews are bullshitty. think about it. you have an entity (since it could be more than one interviewer) trying to determine the future behavior of an individual on the basis of a few pieces of paper (resume, cover letter, application) and a few minutes of conversation. why is a commonly accepted practice odd to me? well, consider this scenario: all goes well at the interview and the new hire seems to be working out. a few weeks into the honeymoon, employer discovers through no fault of employer that new hire is straight psycho. in fact, new hire just recently went psycho. okay, i admit, this is an extreme and likely highly irrational scenario. but, it could happen. i'm kinda contradicting myself, 'cause that was some serious bullshit...[HA! HA!]

i used to think that things would pretty much work out one day. now i think that day may have already come and gone. now i kinda hope things will just work. as i get older, my depressive states seem to be getting more involved. at least i'm more aware of the why of my state of mind. not that it helps much, but it helps. when i was working, i didn't have time to seek therapy. now that i have the time, i've got no funds with which to pay for services. my wife thinks meds might help me, but i don't think i need them. regular therapy seemed to help me quite a bit. unfortunately, i have not been in about 2.5 years. insurance companies are only too happy to just drug you up.

it's funny that drugs are every where you look on TV and other media outlets, but the legalization of weed is such a taboo. no THC, but everything else is okay. hypocrisy runs amuck in society...

make like the current state of my focus...

PEACE