why i friggin' hate 4-wheel petroleum gobblers...

1. they cost too goddamned much to acquire
2. they can kill when bumped together properly
3. they can kill when bumped into by human
4. they're not manufactured in giant sizes even though some are giant sized
5. they're means of conveyance are not conducive to natural growth of foliage
6. they can be used to accumulate sexual gratification experiences w/women
7. associates assume the possession indicates a party's willingness to provide said associate transportation
8. they require the possession of the greatest legal scam known to human existence: INSURANCE
9. the costs incurred when they malfunction can sometime be higher than the value of the gobbler
10. did i say i don't fucking fit in most any if not all of them?
11. you cannot randomly strike humans who irritate you with them [GTA TAG!]
12. they gobble petroleum
13. they require a great deal of financial attention beyond their initial cost.
14. they damage far too easily
15. the average human is not forthcoming when describing gobbler defects to a potential gobbler getter
16. capitalism
17. sexism
18. patriotism
19. the U.S. government
20. my parents
21. you (yes motherfucker, i mean you right there reading this shit...)
22. there are few if any convenient places to leave them whilst doing other activities
23. they're unable to care for themselves
24. they do not speak
25. they absorb environmental energy in such a way as to cause a human discomfort
26. it's something to do
27. 'cause you don't
28. they aren't conducive to physically rewarding human activity

i can't think of anything else at the moment, but give me some time...

make like i don't need to re-up on my gobbler warranty...

PEACE
...be calm...