i'm not Rick James bitch...

i've always dug RJ's sounds. it was never just the funk. i love funk music. i affiliate myself w/whatever funk seems to purvey to people.

i'm especially partial to the sexuality that funk lends to itself by being so closely related to the word "fuck."

i love to funk...

i will funk the shit out of you...

get the funk out of here...

you funky motherfunker...

not only did i grow relishing the power of the word "funk," but i truly dug/dig the sound that came/comes w/funk.

funk is...

Rick's funk was blatantly sexual. i recall reading some liner notes or an interview where Rick said Gordy never quite understood the vibe Rick was on...

imagine that.

Rick was truly a funky ass basta'd...

yes, i meant that shit.

funk you for not understanding...

make like i am not heavily influenced by the sound that i've heard over the years of my life so far...

PEACE
...be calm...

a cause for...

some intellectual violence...

FUCK XMAS!

i'm gonna make a tee that says that shit. seriously. fuck Christmas. WTF happened to "Happy holidays?"

everybody doesn't celebrate this bullshit pagan holiday that many cultures seem to have oddly associated w/Christianity...

odd.

i'm bent 2X...

i'm not Christian, & i don't go for the bullshit anyway. why wait all year to show love by gifting ma'fuckas when you can do that shit every day?

damn stupid...

get a motherfucking clue...

damn!

why not wait until retailers are bleeding to go holiday shopping? the sales will only get better...

sillifites...

make like SEPTA is mad reliable...

PEACE
...be calm...

the preference of flesh...

i find it fascinating to observe the change in my tastes of attractive women over the years.

when i was a kid, i used to just look at what i thought was a pretty face. i never dug big jawns, but i don't believe i was aware of skinny or whatever.

i have always been into eyes & cheek structure. you could be cute, beautiful, aight, etc.

getting older & more sexually aware, i began to notice things like legs, ass, titties, gaps, etc.

i don't recall exactly when particular features became prominent in my mind, but i do recall realizing that i like thickness, hips, & ass.

i have joke for years that i used to only notice faces, legs, & asses. i was never impressed w/breasts until i got into my late 20's to early 30's. this is not to say that i did not take notice of titties. it's just that i did not find an importance in the presence of breasts like i did a pretty face & an ass.

it's an aesthetic thing.

as i've gotten older i've come to appreciate balance & symmetry more. ass, titties, hips, feet, legs, lips, eyes, cheeks, back, neck, hair (natural), hands, teeth, skin, etc.

i don't expect perfection, but beauty is beauty.

skinny chicks are not attractive to me. oddly, i look back at some of the women i recall finding attractive when i was younger, and they were scrawny as hell. guess the tastes have changed much over the years.

make like i find lumber yards sexy...

PEACE
...be calm...

a great new way to say...

get yo' drank on...

go to your local drinkery & order a lady w/2 shots in the can. if you're really adventurous, you can order a bitch w/a .357. just alleviate any form of confusion:

lady w/2 shots in the can

2 shots of your favorite tasty 80+ proof liquor
12oz of your favorite soft drink

BOOM!

bitch w/a .357

3 shots of spiced rum
3 shots of whiskey
24oz of ginger beer

BLAM!

you can throw these on some cubed water, blend w/cubed water, or simply chill in your local kitchen cool box. get drinky w/it...

these tasty beverages were inspired by my other half...

try'em & get blizzy...

make like alcohol isn't state sanctioned drug use...

PEACE
...be calm...

intellectual violence

what is the problem when people do not realize that what they are doing is offensive to other people?

talking w/food in your face hole is unpleasant. that shit makes me want to fistually alter the offender's face hole.

i have distinctly violent tendencies. fortunately, i actually consider the consequences of my actions. first off, i'm not trying to become another incarceration statistic. fuck that. my life is difficult enough, i don't need anyone fucking w/my daily life functions like that.

as with all things, there are exceptions, but those involve my seed & other valued fam. generally speaking, no one other than them is worth my freedom as far as i'm concerned. self defense goes w/o mention.

i'd be lying though if i said i never thought about debraining fools. it does cross my mind rather frequently, but i'm not trying to take an L for some stupid shit. i guess most people don't think through shit like that enough to make less damning decisions. fuck it, what ya gonna do?

you can't go around just bopping cats about the cranium for irritating you. you can, but there's always those unpleasant consequences. i don't really have guilt, but i respect life in general. as a result, i figure it's not right to remove what i cannot exactly duplicate to replace. anger could fuck that logic up, but i'm generally not cavalier about shit like this.

just 'cause i think about violent shit doesn't mean i have to act on the thoughts. what do you value? is it more important to relieve the anger, or to maintain relative autonomy as a being?
i make my choices accordingly...

make like i don't really have to think about my choices sometimes...

PEACE
...be calm...

slangulation...

ahhhh!

a great new word variation.

do you have the ability to slangulate?

of course i do...

slangulation is the creation of words of alternative use, or new slang. it does not matter if it is commonly acceptable or not. it's not like pig latin either. try it at home...

make like i'm not an effervescing, slangulatorious, communibeast...

PEACE
...be calm...

the old sole...

goddamn my feets is hoitin'...

SEPTA eats a swollen cheese dick...

i'm keeping things going. it's difficult sometimes to deal w/the day-to-day bullshit when you have new wave bullshit to sort through. 'tis what 'tis.

work is not at all rewarding. i use way more effort in getting to than i do at the joint. WTH!

blah, blah, blah...

always w/the bullshit. my landlord is a fucking secret slumlord. old ass dude. how you gonna talk shit about my plumbing skills & then come in to fuck up the bathroom sink?

doh!

that shit is new & leaky...

guess that's new school plumbing. the leak lets you know the water is working...

make like i'm not pissed about failing to take advantage of the shitty housing market...

PEACE
...be calm...

so check it the fuck out...

fuck friends.

why?

because in my life thus far, i have yet to come across anyone who has been to me as good a friend as i have been to them...

this may sound vain, but i'd be willing to wager large sums of income that i may never see for any human alive to prove me wrong.

that's how sure i am of this statement.

have people been friends to me?

hell yeah!

this does not negate my original statement though. maybe i'm just so fucked up that i require more than what other humans find it feasible to offer as a friend. i don't seem to think that there is truth in the preceding statement, but it could be possible.

fuck it.

i can relate far more occasions where i've neglected to notice that my relationships w/so-called friends has been one-sided in their favor at my expense...

i ain't gettin' down like that anymore...

make like i fucks w/cats like that...

PEACE
...be calm...

bless my mastery of the language...

for it allows me to slaughter the unknowing with wit & sarcasm...

actually, mastery of the language isn't quite necessary for my sarcasm, but it does help me to lessen my perceived life misery. i'm referring to the sarcasm of course...

i have yet to figure out a way to create income using my thus far developed intellect. seems i mostly know things for no real purpose at all. mostly fuel for my overly active thought process & communicative efforts of human interaction.

shit, if i could get piznaid to tiznalk, i'd be monetarily rich off my ass by now...

i'm working on some things, but they have yet to develop into anything beyond scribblings on pieces of papier and/or bytes of web space/text...

alas, such is this life of mine...

make like i'm not going to be making mucado bloggo entrados duo tuo lacko ofo peacanium...

PEACE
...be calm...

completely irrelevant yet somewhat notable stat...

this year the blog hit 10+ posts for 6 out of 12 months.

STFW...

i know.

anyway, i like to take a look at old posts on occasion to see WTF i was thinking at particular points in time.

i suppose i could just write this shit down in a book somewhere, but this saves paper & it prevents me from having to recall where in the hell the book is.

so, onward & wayward, the frivolity continues...

make like my gig is not damn near completely boring as a totally still speck of dust lounging in the corner of your nearest, unused room in a multi-room mansion that was the scene of a horrible, unsolved multiple homicide...

PEACE
...be calm...

spell check not working?

WTF is up w/the lack of spelling on the web?

now far be it for for me, one who manufactures words & uses mad slangulature, to question spelling errors on the web, but goddamn...

there are some spelling errors that i really wonder about. i'm not going to include any specific examples at this particular point in time, but again, WTF!

i constantly use spellcheck, Merriam-Webster Online, etc. to verify the use of words that i have not slangulated or manufactured. is that a difficult task? i don't think so, but apparently, some people don't bother to think at all...

perhaps i'm being nit-picky. i'm sure someone could accidentally stumble upon this blog & find mad shit to create the appearance that i am a blatant hypocrite. they would be stupidly incorrect, but i could understand the perception.

i take pride in the wordful arts. i am a strong believer in poetic license, and as such i do whatever the fuck i wanna do w/my wordage. that said, i still spell check my shit. there are times when i miss words that i have not purposely mangled or manufactured, but i believe these errors are rare.

if anyone actually read this friggin' blog, i'd challenge the readership to find these errors. alas, the audience is what it ain't.

fuck's up w/this asshole from IL?

make like i love the unreliability of SEPTA...

PEACE
...be calm...

sometimes i completely forget...

to post the shit that i think about posting about...

this post is actually an awesome example.

i had intentions to post about a number of topics over the last few days, but now i cannot recall exactly what it was that i wanted to post about...

that said, i'll comment about workplace clown who deems it feasible to cough his nasty germs all over the place w/o covering his friggin' talk hole...

pretty nasty huh?

does it on a regular basis...

dork...

ah well, doesn't look like he's dying any time soon.

make like i'm not hungry as shit right now...

PEACE
...be calm...

awareness of the rhyme...

does not represent knowledge or understanding of the reason...

i have a bad habit of accepting gigs that i am not going to like at all after about a year or 2 of working them.

why would i do such a thing repeatedly? most likely 'cause i've got fucking bills to pay. i've got to figure out better ways to handle these fucking financial irritants.

i work w/a professional idiot. perhaps that isn't nice, but it is what it is. this guy does/says some of the stupidest shit i've ever heard in my life so far. how the fuck do you keep your gig when you perform at such a high level of idiocy?

fuck it.

2 days a week i have to sit in a room by myself w/this fucking clown. daughters of bastards. this guy thought it was appropriate to put on a pair of headphones & listen to a laptop at a volume that was so high that he couldn't hear what the fuck was going on in the room...

oh the brightness...

the existence of rhyme smothered in the absence of reason...

make like i derive great pleasure from working w/professional dopes...

PEACE
...be calm...

stealing my joys away...

i used to love eating out...

no, i'm not talking about the oral pleasuring of the vaginal area of a woman.

i'm talking about getting food from somewhere outside of a home's kitchen.

i no longer enjoy that shit. i now have to operate w/the knowledge that the food usually costs way more than the value appropriate for its taste & appearance. WTF!

i know i'm not the only one who notices that the menu images almost never represent the actual appearance of the vittles received. it can be frustrating when one is considerably hungry & looking forward to devouring a tasty bite of meal.

ah, the little joys of life...

must they all be taken away from me?

anyways, i guess it's good that i am moving away from this habit. it will stop me from giving these slow food restaurants my unavailable cash...

make like the flavor dipped chicken sandwiches at Wendy's are tasty...

PEACE
...be calm...

can't get any worse?

yes the fuck it can!

i can't stand when cats say that nut ass shit. it can always get worse. even when it's bad as shit, it can do whatever the fuck it wants to do. we have no control over IT...

we have ourselves to control. we can control our response to IT. ain't too much else going on in the universe beside that. IT doesn't give a fuck about you individually. you should give a fuck about you and rest your mind to not concern it w/things that are beyond your mastering,

this is quite easy to say. the challenge is to succeed in practice.

wherever the serenity prayer derives its origin from, it is a statement of 1 of the universe's laws...

imagine the time that is wasted worrying about things that cannot be changed, or adjusted, or whatever. that same time could have been used to resolve issues that are able to be addressed. perhaps in fixing those fixable issues one may even find that life movement occurs in such a way that one no longer has to be concerned about some of those things that only the universe can prevail over...

pump that through the upper cranial resident.

make like income is not more like outcome nowadays...

PEACE
...be calm...