parental challenges...

i grew up w/relatively shitty parenting.

this is not an amazing statement.

many humans can legitimately make this statement. the reasons are not as important as the lesson to learn from the truth of the situation.

i always said i didn't want to bring new human life into the physical plane, but my lack of focus allowed me to do otherwise. DO NOT get it twiznistified: I LOVE MY YOUNG HUMANS TO FIGHT TO MY DEATH! i just don't like the idea of them having to be out & about w/all the other fucked up humans out here. they deal w/enough shit from me & their mother.

that said, i've been adjusting my approach to the youngest of the 2 young humans. he is extremely emotionally sensitive, much like his father. i don't want him to be emotionally disadvantaged like i have been throughout life thus far, so i tell him the truth as much as possible. i do this w/both of the godren, but younger is not used to dealing w/some of the harsh messages that he now hears from me.

i hope he can adjust w/o me causing too much additional emotional damage. i do not feel i can soften up too much, because i see what happens to soft humans when i look to my sperm donor. his weakness caused me a great deal of suffering throughout my life. my weaknesses (predominantly my lack of focus) cause my godren to suffer unnecessarily at times. i don't know if either of these cats will help bring new human life into the physical or not, but i want them to be fully aware of the ills of the world. i want them to fight for truth & provide as much healing as they possibly can, but not blindly.

i hope they comprehend the reasoning behind my methods when they get to be adult humans. they have to be strong or they face the prospect of being physically &/or emotionally eaten alive by the savagery of ignorant humans across the planet...

make like i or any other human has all the answers...

PEACE
...be calm...