what the sheazle!

proud to say i am today my gig employed full-time. excited yes why quite i am which made me write this rhyme. persistent in my effort now seems to have paid off. success is yes the best revenge for those left me naught. to gloat i won't to brag i shant but pleased i sure will be. unlike so many years before this one's been good to me. soon i shall receive my works in form of a degree. although it took what seems so long i feel deservedly that finally i'll have the chance to raise my arms and say, "look at me. i did do it. i graduated yaaaay!"

my apologies for the Seussian lyricism. well, not really, but i thought it'd be nice to say it anyway. i'm obviously in a jipper-skipper mood. i ain't rich, but i am on a path towards more stable financial status. the reality of my financial situation has always been my lack of sustainable income. granted, i have only been at this gig 6 months and there's no guarantee things will go well. but i feel a great deal better than i have for quite some time about my income and various other personal issues that we all deal with as adults. many of these things most people probably take for granted. i'm sure i did as well. perhaps that is what led to the difficulties that i've experienced prior to my current situation. some have called me pessimistic. i prefer to call myself realistic. i don't know if i'd say i'm pragmatic. i've done some off the wall sheazle in my time, but for the most part i'm just trying to pursue my goals.

i didn't really consider in my late teens early 20's that i would become a member of probably the largest economic class of this society: the poor. [ha!ha!] but seriously, i had no reason to believe i would not go to college, graduate and start a wonderful career making 5+ figures with the phat bennies. didn't happen. how about it's taken me damn near the 2nd half of my life so far just to get my bachelor's? how about i almost didn't even live to see this day? of course that would have been my fault entirely. it's odd to me now that i didn't realize sooner in my life that i suffered from depression. at least to the extent that it was severe enough for me to need professional help and intervention. fortunately my persistence at self-termination did not pay off. how about that? i'm sure everyone experiences frustration in life, but with depression it's like it gets magnified to such an extreme level. combine that with the logical aspects of my thought process and you get a dangerous pattern of thoughts that questions why there should be any effort at all if it does not lead to some positive result at some point.

current up status is hopefully going to be a prolonged state of being. i've had some trying days over the past few months, but more often than not i've been able to work through. as always its a work in progress, but progress is the key word. stagnation = frustration = depression = whoa! gotta stay away from that equation at all costs. seeing as how no one really sees this blog yet, guess it doesn't much matter what i suggest, but i'll do it anyway. if you have any doubts whatsoever about your state of mind, seek professional help. it works. it isn't even about medication. i did it and without medication it really made a difference in my approach to my life's conflicts. i was already pretty good at observing myself, but there were some rather significant aspects of my personal and family life that i was in some denial about. i haven't been in about 2 years now, but i'd go back in a minute. can't work out 30+ years worth of issues out in a matter of weeks or even months. that wouldn't seem to make any sense at all if it even slightly true.

well now that's a 1/4 of a mindful for an entry...

make like a pop fly...

PEACE

skiddley be bop da boobie doo...

ha! ha! Mr. Bush i can't stand you. but anyways, Ineeda got her new stereo/CD player today. hooray! no more commercial radio bullsh*t. i truly cannot stand the repetitive nature of the media. even the stations that i do like play the same tracks almost daily. the new BEN/JACK stations are pretty cool for their variety, but that didn't work for me either. guess i just like what i like. most of the artists and songs i dig get airplay never. no longer must i suffer the fate of the woefully programmed airborne blatheratron known as commercial radio. now i gotta get Ineeda that tune-up. she's making more strange noises. it'd be real dorky of me to have a bangin' stereo in my rizzel and it doesn't even run...

make like MJ & the NBA...

PEACE

Ineeda needs a tune-up

gotta get the vehicle to the mechanics in the am before Ineeda ends up being Iparka. the spot i bought the car from claims to have taken a loss by selling it to me for $900. i somehow doubt the validity of the dealer's claim. this guy claims to have paid $1500 for the vehicle. supposed retail, trade-in and private party values are respectively $4,620, $855 and $2,225(all according to www.kbb.com). now when i check for the same year, make, model at http://www.edmunds.com/ i get $1,530, $2,038 and $2,925 for trade-in, private party and retail values respectively. that retail value is a chunk ain't it? that's a $1500+ difference from one estimate to the other. guess which one the dealer used...

anyways, the car is making some new noises which i do not feel all too comfortable about. i wouldn't be as concerned if i had the cash readily available to get the necessary repairs done. i'm worried that some of Ineeda's issues may become aggravated by my repair "budgeting." hopefully all will be well.

i always aim to keep my vehicle for at least 1 year while i save up to get another. it has yet to work out that way. the last 2 vehicles i had ended up at the junkyard with $50 being in my pocket. [yeah!] the first one wasn't that bad because i didn't pay for the car. my aunt gave me her old car. apparently she had not taken all that good care of it. i believe it had an oil leak of some sort. head gasket went on it and the engine seized up whilst being driven unsuspectingly on the expressway. [yaaay! not!] the 2nd ride i paid $1000 for because i did not know that an oil leak means run far away and do not buy. i was putting a case of oil a week into that one. short story shorter, it ran hot and ended up being picked up by the junkman as i mentioned previously. hopefully Ineeda does not suffer such a horrible fate. i plan on making reasonable repairs as long as Ineeda is running and not running me into a hole. i figure as long as i don't spend more than what the vehicle is supposed to be worth i'll be pleased...

do what the red rectangle over the door says...

PEACE

what the follicle...

let us begin...

yackety smackety, blah, blah, blah...

but seriously, 11 years ago i decided to let my hair lock. it has been an interesting journey. i have experienced various forms of discrimination during the past decade because of my appearance. i've had people stare at me, make highly incorrect assumptions about my personal hygiene, make inappropriate physical contact and assume that i am Jamaican/West Indian. the dorkism is abundant.

i'd say of the worst infractions my former immediate family members would have to be the worst of all. let's call my pops Ted for the sake of protecting his stupidity. now Ted takes it upon his hairless self to tell his older jheri curled and balding cousin "hey, come and look at PoCrizzle."

imagine that. as if i was on display at the zoo. incidents such as this have caused me to question the source of my intellect. perhaps it passed a generation on moms and pops side. that's a whole other post though. back to the locks.

why would anyone think that it is okay to just come up and touch my hair? seems like an obvious no no, but it has happened way too many times over the years. i don't know what you've been doing with your hands and fingers. besides if went around touching things because i thought they looked nice or because i was curious about how they felt, i'd probably be locked up with a swollen face. imagine if i just walked around touching every booty i see because i want to see what it feels like. people do crazy things. and believe me asking doesn't make it any better. again, how would i sound if walked up to some woman and said "your ass is really nice. can i palm it and see what it feels like?"

it ain't happenin'...

make like three strikes...

PEACE

"it's a bright, bright, bright, bright sunshiny day..."

i can see clearly now your moms is gone...

GTA tag is a fun imaginary game with rules i chose not to detail at this juncture of blogness. what to say...

work was good today. not that my current means of revenue generation is particularly bad any day, but i felt good about work today. due to certain stipulations of my employment, i will not get into it in any detail. i'll just establish the fact that i am legitimately employed for a reputable firm. no, i am not a lawyer.

now i remember what i wanted to discuss...

hodges podges...

let's see...

T.O. is an A-Hole. i'm tempted to say his agent is as well, but dude was like this before Rosenhaus. what a dizork. how can you ever consider him a professional when he gets kicked out of training camp? maybe he thought it was summer camp. doh! he reminds me of Madonna before she started having kids. anyone remember when and why she was no longer welcome on Letterman? some people can't live without attention/drama. it's a sad thing...

i gotta get a stereo in my ride. i priced one-on the web of course-and now i need to cop it and have it installed. everything with Ineeda is a monetary mystery. if the current non-factory unit was properly installed then i only have to put out $35 for installation (one place quoted a $75 fee...psssh!). however, if the installer f*#!ed up the wiring, i'll have to pay the customary additional costs. i really shouldn't even be worrying about the audio 'cause i still cannot get in my trunk. that's gonna cost me about $100 plus i have to get the lock reset or carry 2 keys...fun! i'm not even going to get into this gas bullshaza...

'bout to be back in classes. it's great to know i'll be finished soon. if someone had told me out of high school that it would have taken me this long to get my B.A., i would have looked at them like they were stoooooopid! live and learn...

there is someone cutting trees outside at the moment...rather distracting if i do say so...

anyways, it hot as bear's biznalls today. how do i know what temperature bear's biznalls are? lucky guess? how 'bout you prove me wrong if you don't think it's an accurate description. get at me after you check in with your local bear...

make like you've got the mudbutt

PEACE

if you don't know the difference you ought to be shot...

why do people persist in suggesting that violent video games/media influence violent behavior? don't get me wrong. GTA is not for children. none of the versions that i've played are remotely appropriate for anyone who is not an adult. as with most arguments of this type, the people who are or claim to be motivated by such stimuli are predisposed to the exhibited behavior. what scares me is that parents are so out of touch with what their kids are doing or are just that twisted that they allow their children to play games like GTA. i can't front: i play GTA like i'm stupid. i did think about hopping into a cop car on the corner once, but i'm not fond of getting shot to death. i don't let my kids see the game when i'm playing at all. i can usually be found playing with some headphones on my ears and i have the monitor on my PC positioned so that you can't see what's on unless you come into the room. i don't understand why a parent would allow a child to play an obviously adult game. the world is filled with brainless individuals and errant sheep...

find an exit...

PEACE

commercial radio is so boring...

underground hip hop is not dead. it is still where it has always been. this shit that is getting airplay and promotion is getting more and more tired. imagine getting paid to be unoriginal and mimic the latest trend. it is bugged that no one seems to recognize on any wide scale that it is the innovators who create the trends that get followed later. why did the innovator create a trend? because something DIFFERENT was made available. people are so caught up in the same old same old that they close off what's new unless told to listen. i was talking to this cat who listens to hip hop and he didn't even know Brand Nubian had dropped an album recently (last year/summer actually). it's crazy 'cause the album is bangin'. even better, the production was done almost entirely by Lord Jamar (looks like he cut his locks...). then of course you have another dope Masta Ace album that dropped that no one really talks about. these cats put toghether bangin' projects with some real production and get no airplay. i ain't even mad about that. forget airplay. people need to just listen to the music and support the artist. check for them on tour and/or cop the album. radio is not made for music anyway (something of which most people are completely unaware). media is made for advertising. everything else is just filler. the wonders of capitalism...exploit your resources until they are completely depleted...what a great concept...

what? zoooooom!

PEACE

cooler heads prevail...

ah well, i guess i still got a deal on my ride. it's funny how we take the little things for granted. think about it. when you buy a car, do you even consider what it would be like to go grocery shopping or going to do your laundry without having a trunk? sucks huh? i've gotta admit though, i'd rather not be able to get into my trunk than not be able to drive at all. Ineeda B. (my car's name of course) is a work in progress i guess. i know one thing, i need a MP3/CD player in my ride. i'm working with an FM transmitter right now, and it's way better than being at the mercy of commercial radio. it's not quite what i'd like in driving auditory pleasure, but hey...

one step/mile at a time i guess...

getcha gone

PEACE

what the frizzle...

hey now. i am hot and irritated. my recently purchased pre-owned vehicle is causing me some rather inconvenient problems. imagine having a car but not being able to get in the trunk...

worse part is i have the key but it does not work. i go to a locksmith and they say "bring it in we'll take a look at it..."

how about i pay the locksmith a bennie bucko plus for a "factory spec" key (according to the locksmith) that does the same thing the worn out key from the dealer does? what does this mean? well it could mean that the locks are busted. i'm sure that will not be an inexpensive repair item. imagine the labor alone...

i still need a friggin' tune up. it's supposed to be $75. with the way things have gone so far with this vehicle, i would not be surprised if it ended up being $200-300. ah well, i guess i still got a deal for a '93 Maxima at $700. it does run...

now make like an egg...

PEACE