i'ma kick that ass when i c u...

imagine actually getting into a life-threatening, physical altercation over some bullshit. why? i gotta say i've been truly pissed off about some shit in life, but other than when i was a kid, or just irrationally angry, i've never felt a desire to put my life at risk to whoop somebody's ass. i can think of a whole of maybe 3-4 occasions as an adult where i felt that pissed.

i actually don't feel this topic too tight. maybe i'll come back to it some other time...

make like i feel like finishing this entry...

PEACE

wow dude...

it's fucking amazing how open communication can change certain situations. i expected to have a most horrible if not mildly irritating weekend. i figured since i just caught the wife being rather unwifely, i would basically be spending the weekend hashin' that shit out. didn't quite work out how i expected. seems like, and my head ain't even gassed, we actually have been having mutually open conversations since the hardcore news broke. shit, she actually verbally admitted to being afraid to trust me with her full-on open communication. to hear that coming from someone who i've been with for 8+ years is kind of bugged the fuck out. it's kinda fucking scary. we've accomplished a great deal as a team and as individuals over the last few years. to think that the full-on disclosure was not entirely there is a little intimidating. think about that shit: the ability to accomplish some great shit while not actually giving your no questions, 100%, all. that's fucking scary in itself. why? because if we can do all this without both of us giving 100% on as many facets as possible, imagine what more can be done! it has the potential to be even greater. [see above title...]

there are definitely some other aspects of which i will not provide particular explicit detail. though this is a rather candid expression of my inner thoughts, i ain't no moterfucking fountain, so i don't give whoever does read this shit every goddamn thing. gotta leave something to some whoever's imagination. [ha! ha!] so i guess it's safe to say we are supposed to be working things out, but only time will truly tell. i ain't trippin', but hell yeah i'm pissed about the whole shit. it ain't right to find out the lies someone has told you. to make things worse, the other person involved ain't fucking competing! WTF! i can't say that i 'd rather be mad that she was involved with someone who was equal or better, but damn. i feel slighted 'cause this low budget cat was getting shit he ain't deserve at all. and i'm not saying that 'cause she's the wife 'n' shit, i'm saying that 'cause dude is stuck in slouch mode on some blah blah shit. why would you fuck w/that? anyways, that's the type of shit i thought would predominate the topics of discussion this weekend. it did not, i repeat, did not quite go down like that.

funny how shit works out sometimes...

make like i'm over here wil'in' out 'cause my weekend sucked ass...

PEACE

motherfucker...

"...you say motherfucker when you get shot..." - Eddie Murphy

so, i caught my so-called wife cheating again. come to find out she's been fucking w/this nut ass dude for about a year now. i had an idea, but i ain't gettin' into the particulars at this juncture. let's just say i wasn't surprised too much. i was hella pissed though. i wanted to just grip her the fuck up and kick the shit out of her ass. since i'm not one for man on women violence, that did not happen. add to that no pussy is worth me going to fucking jail and you won't find me beatin' dude's ass either. what the fuck for? even if i beat both of their asses and feel great afterwards, how great am i gonna feel when i get locked the fuck up. it'd be like an Chappelle "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong" scenario. i must repeat, ain't no pussy on this planet worth me gettin' locked the fuck up. besides, if i'm locked up, i can't get any pussy anyway. if you really think about it, getting locked up will fuck up your whole pussy game. how's that? well for one, you end up missing out on gigs for being a felon/con. no gigs = no $ = highly limited selection of ass = damn near no pussy. i'm too selective for that shit. then again, i guess i ain't all that selective, or i wouldn't keep ending up w/crazy broads. friggin' thanks Mom!

yeah, so, i had a nice weekend to look forward to until the bullshit this afternoon/evening. my wife is so crazy she decides to have a goddamn in-depth discussion w/nutty dude on the phone while i'm supposed to be waiting for her. i picks up the phone to make a call and i hear her, nutty dude and some nutty chick on the phone talking about a severely sexually immature interaction that the 3 of them are attempting to arrange. unbeknownst to any of them i listened long enough to verify that she's cheatin' on me w/this asshole. what a dick (no pun intended). it's always amazing to me the amount of immaturity and denial that exists in the common relationship, even if it is supposedly just physical. usually that's a bullshit cover for people who are too pussy to put their feelings on the line. i figured that shit out when i was a teenager, but there a seasoned adults who still live off of that bullshit. utterly amazing. anyways, had to get my rant/vent on. the wife asks me "what are we gonna do?" i'm like, "what are you gonna do," cause i ain't w/the bullshit? guess we'll see if she's crazy like that or whatever. WTF!

yo, make like i'm inadequate and feel the least bit threatened by nutty dude...

PEACE

zafficial...

yerp, my fam is straight craze. my moms died about 2 months ago. too bad she wasn't a vampire and the mental illness i inherited from her died with her. sound crazy, but so what. besides, i'd still be infected by the crazy from pops side.

i'm in a somewhat reflective mood. some potential good from moms dying is my re-established contact with some of my 1st cousins. apparently, we're all crizzle. not like i didn't know that already, but sometimes it ain't so bad when you know you're not the only one. it's not really any consolation, it just gives you something to relate to sometimes.

speaking of crizzle fam, my younger sister is true to the genes. i always hoped that she would break away from our mom like i did, but apparently she is unaware of how the darkness consumed her life. she actually said to me that she believes she has/had bad karma. unless our mom changed her name, karma ain't the culprit. i thought we may be able to rebuild since mom is dead, but sis is to fucked up 4 me. she's on some other dumb shit that i ain't even tryin' to share. i should've known better. u gotta wonder about somebody who actively embraces a known family loony after recently escaping an initial one. either way, loony or not, there is still common courtesy.

we were supposed to meet this past weekend and she didn't even have the decency to call and say, "hey i can't make it." WTF! not only that, but she didn't contact me until i IM'ed her. even that was on some half-assed shit. she sends me some bullshit laden message about trying to call while being stuck in VA. ok, you were stuck, but no fucking body called me all weekend, especially not my wonderfully loonball lil'sis. how the fuck do you try to call someone, but neither my caller ID or voicemail show any signs of a call? guess being polite isn't a freakin' priority nowadays.

it's funny to me, 'cause our loony aunt asked me to promise to keep in touch w/sis. i had to explain to her that i have never put myself out of reach of some form of communication w/sis. sis is a grown ass woman who doesn't appear to be conducting herself in an adult manner. if nothing else, she ain't too polite. can't say she's not bright, but she sure ain't acting like she has mucado sense.

so you know it's like whatever at this point. my last contact clearly stated that i have an extremely low tolerance for bullshit and drama. i'm through at this point. i figure, i can't make her be my sis. besides, i didn't have a sister i knew until i was 12 and then lost her again after 5 years, so i'm kinda used to the non-existent relationship. what am i losing? nada!

on that note, make like the fucking Mavs are a championship quality team!

PEACE

itz bin a long tizime...

ohly snizzap! it's been a hella minit. haven't posted anything since the end of March. been kinda busy, preoccupied, uninterested, whatever. mostly i haven't felt like searching, culling, editing photos to post with my entries. since i started using photos, i said i was going to keep it up. me being the anal completist that i am, i just won't post if i can't post w/pics. so, here i am back in the miznix...

copped a Gamecube a couple of weeks ago off of eBay. i ain't mad at it. i wanna get a Wii, but i'm waiting for the obligatory price drop that usually comes about a year after a new system drops. i ain't fuckin' w/none of the other systems. PS3 can kiss my ass (costs 2 damn much). and XBox's are a MS product (you figure that one out on your own). i had been plottin' on the GC for over a year now, but when i learned about the Wii, i figured i'd cop one. i ain't ready to plop down $250 for a game system when i've got my trusty old PC to use for superior graphics and minimal loading time(s). why bother? why indeed...
that's about the size of it. i've always love action type games. this game got me when i saw it during it's introductory college tour. there was a free setup at the student center and i was immediately hooked. problem is they never bothered to release a PC version. when i realized this was going to be the case, i immediately decided i had to cop a GC. there wasn't much consideration for anything else. Nintendo has been getting it in since the Donkey Kong age. gotta respect an original when they stay in the game and keep innovating at a high level. that's why i'm getting a Wii, eventually...

well that's about it for the nizow...

make like the Mavs didn't drink some Eagles choke juice...

PEACE

doops!

that would be a cross between damn & oops...

i gotta take a monster leak...BRB...okay.

so, i really don't have anything in particular to say. got a new car. battery died on me. replaced it w/battery from old car. vroom, vroom, vroom. blah, blah, blah...

laters.

make like i feel liking making a make like...

PEACE

spartes muntes

that's pospeak for i ain't post shit hardly all last month. WTF. too busy ordering shit and trying to get a new ride. speaking of which, looks like the financial institution of choice didn't jam me up after all. turns out the original loan officer misinformed me about the significance of the amount of the loan request. DOH! not that i specifically asked the chick that question or anything...

all that done and said, the squad is now rolling in a brand old '98 Camry. oddly, this is what i originally wanted when i ended up settling for the '93 Maxima that is Needa. so now we'll be wippin Gotta. boom! boom! bang! bang!

funny how things turn out sometimes. anyways, short blurb times. i'm 'bout to get my mad buzz and pass out on...

make like the heat is on in my crib right now...

PEACE

hard bowl

i ain't mad at Lovie Smith. this was a win-win game for me. i would've been good had either team took it since they both had African coaches. don't know about all that "great day for our country" shtuff, but it definitely breaks another unspoken barrier for the unseen gatekeeper crew. the hot thing is that these guys don't treat their players like assholes. no yelling and no cursing...imagine that on a professional sports team. can you say Bobby Knight?

if i had to chose, i kinda wanted Chicago to win. Indy winning is hot though, 'cause now i can really point out the mistake Tampa Bay made in letting the Dunge Man go. John Gruden who? as i've said for years, that guy won a Super Bowl with another coach's team. what has Gruden done since he made the team his own? NADA! at least not yet anyway. Dungy comes to Indy, works up the team in his mold, deals with continued naysaying, and gets it in finally. it's no coincidence buddy. Tampa Bay's ownership fucked up on that one. speaking of shafting oneself, can you say Edge? wow, what a difference one season can make. a slight salary hit and Edgerrin James has a Super Bowl ring on his finger...ooops!

make like Rex Grossman is currently Chicago's most loved...



PEACE

that time of year again...

it's good old tax time. or at least it's get your W-2's, 1099's, etc. time. if you have no idea, get down with the electronic filing option. TurboTax is pretty hot. can you say refund in 7 business days? [HOT!] anyways, current funding plans tend to have me building my laptop to use as a portable production/editing station. [AWESOME!] it looks as if the mixing console is going to have to wait again until i save up some more loot. [DAMN!] gotta keep my savings goals up. if i cop the console & build the laptop, i'm looking at killing damn near my whole dose of funds. don't want to go out like that. speaking of...did you hear about Andy Reid's sons' adventures this week?

make like Andy Reid's son's are model citizens...PEACE

de hale!

so i answered this letter i got about "guaranteed" auto credit. yet another adventure in financial futility. i found out today that my big ass does not fit in just any car. either i really gained a lot of weight over the last few years or cars are small as shit inside. i sat in a Mercury Sable and i thought i was trying to drive a box. popped in a Dodge Stratus and my knee thought it was a guage on the freakin' dash. [sheesh!] i know i probably irked the shit out of the closer dude. i flat out told him i didn't want a note over $150 and as close to $100 as possible. "i've never done a deal for $100..." well sir, you've never done a deal with me then. supposedly they're gonna call Monday, but i've heard that shit before. won't be holding any oxygen on that one.

it isn't all that pressing for me anyway, because the only thing they had that i fit in was a Chevy Impala. i'll admit it was a nice ride w/low mileage, but it wasn't what i want to get. i know shit about a Chevy Impala. i'm going to have to look them up just in case dude wasn't bullshittin' about calling me back. if i don't get financing, i'm gonna end up having to use me tax ref to pop a new whip. last year i got jammed by Needa & the trannie and couldn't get my A&H mixer. i'm not trying to do that again this year. i plan to get some much needed new equipment, as well as upgrades for some existing equipment. i've got to put my project studio in motion...

on that note...

make like Michael Strahan learned anything from Orenthal James Simpson...

PEACE