only time will tell...

...but unfortunately i don't speak clock.

my youngest said the craziest thing last night. we play this game called What If. basically you make up some crazy ass scenario and ask "what would you do?" so he says "what if a big crackhead came in the house and said 'i'm smoking right now," what would you do?" i almost choked i was laughing so hard. you had to be there, but it was so funny because he doesn't really know what a crackhead is. i asked him once what a crackhead was and he responded that it was someone who drives crazy. his mom didn't understand the answer until i explained that i call people crackheads when they do dumb shit while i'm driving around...i love my kidren...

anyway, if anyone actually reads this blog, you may find i'm making more frequent entries. that is 'cause i am currently woefully underemployed. i hate the whole job search process. there's so much bullshit to it. you fill out the app and they never call you. you go to the interview but you don't get the gig. here's my favorite one: you get the gig and your manager is an a-s-s-h-o-l-e! yup. anyway, capitalism is your friend not mine. i've got to feed my family that's all. i will be accepting donations for the next few weeks...

anyways, i'm bullshitting and i need to stop. i've got to get some hustle flava going.

make like my paycheck this week...

PEACE

would you buy a t-shirt with this image on it...

check this out...

i'm seriously thinking about coming out with a t-shirt with this or an extremely similar image on it...




give me some feedback:

1. would you buy such an item?
2. would you actually proudly sport it?

don't know about you, but i'd proudly do both. hats, t-shirts, mugs, bags, posters...
okay, maybe not posters...

you get the idea. this guy has got to be the dumbest prez in recent history. i didn't like Reagan, but i never thought he was dumb. he was ignorant as hell, but what affluent person is familiar with the less affluent members of society? anyways, this guy Dumbya pisses me off. i tried to vote'em out of office but it didn't work. sour grapes? i think not...

more like idiot intolerance. hey what do you expect, I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE...

think anyone'll come after me for this shit? never know with these paranoid cats..
.
hey let's spy on citizens in case they call Osama...yeah, great idea...[DORKS!]

aight, that's enough...i'm out...

make like Osama actually had any ties with Sadam...

PEACE

it's hard to be a supa produca...

...when you don't have any goddamn equipment. if i were to cry over spilled milk, i'd say "damn, i should have kissed the blinkless wonder's ass and kept my shitty job," but that would be a lie. i only miss the income not the employment. don't worry, i'm not going to start trippin' about asshole managers.

well, i am no longer an undegreed person. i am a Temple graduate. i keep saying that as if it were a magic spell or some shit like that. you know, like if i keep saying it i will somehow be financially stable. [SMILE!] obviously that shit doesn't work that way, but it's nice to know that i actually owe the gubment money for something besides writing papers and getting drunk on the weekends.

oddly, i did not end up actually walking because the ceremony was too goddamn long. had some logistical problem with my family and my offspring were hungry as sheazle, so we had to be out. as history would have it, there are no photos anywhere in my possession of me ever receiving any educational documentation at a graduation ceremony. but guess what...i don't give a split shit goddamn. [lot's of cursing today huh?] you know why?

'cause I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE! I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE! YES I AM, I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE!

okay, i'm buggin' out. i was supposed to have a party, but i'm broke. hey, who else was supposed to bankroll the shindig? anyway, maybe i'll have one this summer. that'd be nice, but it's not looking too good at the moment.

speaking of not looking too good, Needa is fucking falling to pieces on me. i'm kinda pissed but not. i'm more irritated 'cause this shit is happening when i don't have the cizash to get the shit fixed. the key broke in the trunk lock. the driver's side seat came off the track (the mechanic said i need a bus). the speed sensor is malfunctioning. today i hit a fucking tree. backed right into it i did. i don't think i hit it hard enough to fuck the car up, but still that's not too good.

anyway, that's about enough for today. for the individuals who do read this expression of deeper thought [SMILE!], i've made some adjustment so you can comment w/o having to register w/the site. i got an email couple of months ago about it and never read it. i was kinda busy with full-time school, full-time work, and part-time sleep. so, have at it, but don't do anything stupid. if you read this at all, you should know by now i have a low tolerance for stupidity.

make like Barry Bonds never, ever, ever used any performance enhancing substances...

PEACE

well goddamn!

yep, i finally did it. it took 18 fucking years, but i finally gragiated from undergragiate school. say something smart and i'll beat ya ass w/my degree. [WHAT!] but seriously, i got my shit after many trials and tribulations. my moms & pops can eat a collective dick for the utter lack of support i received from them. that goes from not making any type of financial commitment to my early years to providing little or no emotional support to me throughout my entire life. thanks assholes. anyway, on to the positive...

did i say i graduated today?

yeah buddy!

aight, i'm 'bout to celebrate. looks like i'll be celebrating by my solo, but fuck it. i've got my bachelor's to keep me company.

on that note i'd like to thank my supportive family members for attending my ceremony today. not that anyone reads this or might even know what the hell i'm talking about, but whatever.

make like i have classes next week...

PEACE

Almost official...

barring any unforeseen grading mishaps, i will soon be a college graduate. this is an amazing feeling for me. don't know if it's 'cause it took so long, or perhaps it's just a great feeling of accomplishment. i'm still kinda premature, but it looks like things are a go. i gotta check when grades are supposed to be finally posted to be sure. now comes the hard part: finding a steady gig.

i suppose this is slightly more difficult for me than some since i do not particularly want a career working for so-and-so's company. i want my own business. i actually have a decent framework for a business plan from one of my courses this past semester. it needs to be fleshed out and researched more, but it is a definite start. i even contacted a law firm in D.C. that deals with the aspects of business i desire to pursue. now i gotta secure funding. this is where employment comes in the picture. i pretty much have to provide potential employers with the impression that i actually intend remain in a position for those indefinite periods that they consider a career. interesting proposition...

all my earnings will be for maintaining the fam and funding the biz effort. once i get my shit together independently, the employer situation is null and void.

anyway, gotta get crackin'. it's all about computers, audio engineering and production. can you say G-R-A-D-U-A-T-E?

make like this semester...

PEACE

10 Reasons Why Columbia House DVD club eats ass

this is not hate.  this is real.  this emails actually came from Columbia House (CH).  this is why consumers need to start kicking these companies in the ass by not buying shit from them anymore...

REQUEST 1:

why can't i login to my account anymore?  i can access my
account over the phone just fine.  when i try to use the web i keep
getting the enrollment page. 

also, what happened to the human phone option?  this is not very
customer friendly.

LAME RESPONSE 1:

Thank you for your recent e-mail message.

In order to assist you as soon as possible, we are responding with
information that we have found beneficial in answering similar
questions asked by members.  However, if this reply has not answered
your question(s) completely, please let us know by using your mail
program's "Reply With History" to send a follow up e-mail to a Columbia
House Customer Service Agent.

HOW DO I CREATE A USERNAME AND PASSWORD

HOW DO I CHANGE MY USERNAME AND/OR PASSWORD

Sincerely,
Customer Service

REQUEST 2:

read my original message 1st and then perhaps you can actually help me. 
i would really appreciate it.

no phone assistance is going to make this take a whole lot longer. 
cost effective is not very customer friendly in this case...

LAME RESPONSE 2:

Thank you for your e-mail message.

Account #50310281923

We apologize that our automated response did not
completely address the concerns mentioned in your
previous e-mail message. Please be assured, no
discourtesy was intended.

It was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored
by your credit card company.

Due to this status you were removed from our online services. 
Therefore you will not be able to logon to our website.

If you wish to reactivate your membership, you may either provide the
updated information via fax
at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service at 1-800-262-2001
for assistance.

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience
experienced.  We assure you that providing you
with the best possible service is our top priority.
We think that you will find, given the chance, our
automated phone service can be an efficient and
effective way of accessing information about your
account.  However, if you are not able to access the information needed
via our phone service, you may visit our web site at
http://www.columbiahouse.com/, or e-mail us at dvd_customer_service@columbiahouse.com, or write
us at Columbia House DVD Club, PO Box 91602, Indianapolis, IN
46291-0612.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Leo Pearson
Customer Service

REQUEST 3:

okay, i still have not heard from anyone about my account. i even tried
calling the phone number. there was no option for me to update my card
information. is this your way of trying to make me open a new account?
then i would have to assume a new obligation. it would really be nice
to resolve situation without having to send anymore email messages.
how about it?

LAME RESPONSE 3:
It was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored
by your credit card company.
If you wish to reactivate your membership you may provide the updated
information via fax at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service
at 1-800-262-2001 for assistance.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Vince Cook
Customer Service

REQUEST 4:

maybe if i type in caps this will get a response...

I GOT AN EMAIL LIKE THIS ALREADY. I CALLED THE NUMBER ALREADY.  WHAT
IS THE KEY SEQUENCE TO GET ASSISTANCE?  NO ONE HELPED ME WHEN I CALLED
THAT NUMBER.  IT WOULD BE A GREAT DEAL EASIER TO UPDATE MY INFO IF MY
ACCOUNT WAS ACCESSIBLE.  ALSO, THERE ARE NO "NUMBER" OF CHARGES THAT
WERE NOT HONORED.  YOUR SYSTEM IS APPARENTLY LIMITED AND DOES NOT EXPLAIN
ITS FLAGS.  I AM COMPLETELY AWARE OF WHY THIS HAPPENED.  IT IS BECAUSE
THE DIRECTOR'S SELECTION WAS CHARGED TO MY ACCOUNT BUT NO FUNDS WERE
AVAILABLE.  THIS IS ONE CHARGE.  YOU GUYS HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE.  THE
ONLY DIFFERENCE IS BEFORE I COULD TALK TO SOMEONE AND THE ISSUE WAS
QUICKLY RESOLVED.  IT HAS NOW BEEN ALMOST 3 WEEKS AND NO HELP YET.  DID YOU
EVEN READ THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE?  YOU KNOW, THE PRIOR EMAILS?  I
DOUBT IT, BECAUSE IF YOU DID WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME THE EXACT SAME
INFORMATION THAT WAS OF NO HELP PREVIOUSLY?  I WILL GLADLY UPDATE MY INFO, IF
SOMEONE GAVE ME A LEGITIMATE MEANS TO DO SO.

HOW ABOUT SOME REAL HELP THIS TIME!

LAME RESPONSE 4:

Thank you for your e-mail message.

Account #50310281923

Please accept our apology for the inconvenience
you have experienced.

It was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored
by your credit card company.

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience
experienced.  We assure you that providing you
with the best possible service is our top priority.
We think you will find that, given the chance, our
automated phone service can be an efficient and
effective way of accessing information about your
account.   However, to speak with a representative,
you should have no problem contacting a representative
by dialing (800)262-2001 and following these instructions
to navigate the system.  Please have your account
number ready.

-press 1 after the initial greeting for English
-next, choose the most appropriate option to handle
       your inquiry and/or order

You may also visit us at http://www.columbiahouse.com/ 24 hours a day.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Jonathan Samuels
Customer Service

REQUEST 5:

WOW! DID YOU BOTHER TO READ ANY OF THE PREVIOUS EMAILS?  ARE YOU TRYING
TO GET ME TO OPEN A NEW ACCOUNT?  I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE BEST POSSIBLE
SERVICE YOU CAN PROVIDE.  I HAVE YET TO GET IT!  THESE EMAILS SURE ARE
NOT MAKING IT.  ARE THESE FORM LETTERS OR SOMETHING?  YES YOU MAY BE OF
FURTHER SERVICE.  RE-OPEN MY INTERNET ACCOUNT SO I CAN UPDATE THE CARD
INFORMATION.  I WILL REPEAT-

T H E R E  W E R E  N O  " N U M B E R "  O F S E R V I C E  C H A R
G E S.

IS THIS NOT BEING MADE CLEAR?  IF MY ACCOUNT HAD SUCH A HISTORY, WHY
WOULD I HAVE HAD THE ACCOUNT OPEN FOR SO MANY YEARS?  THIS IS LAME. 
YOU GUYS DO THIS TO MY ACCOUNT EVERY YEAR.  I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU
FIXED THIS ASAP, OR SOONER.

BY THE WAY, THERE IS NO APPROPRIATE OPTION AFTER PRESSING 1 FOR
ENGLISH.  SURELY YOU ARE AWARE OF THIS OR YOU WOULD HAVE INDICATED THE
NUMBER SEQUENCE FOR ME TO ENTER TO GET THE CUSTOMER SERVICE I HAVE BEEN
REQUESTING.  THE MENU OPTIONS ARE WOEFULLY INADEQUATE TO HANDLE THIS
SITUATION.  IF I AM MISTAKEN, WHAT IS THE SEQUENCE?  I ASKED THIS IN THE
PREVIOUS EMAIL AND I GET "PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH."  YOU CALL THIS YOUR BEST
POSSIBLE SERVICE?

PLEASE RE-OPEN MY ACCOUNT SO I CAN UPDATE MY INFO.  THERE WERE NO
MULTIPLE CHARGE REFUSALS.  STOP CANCELING OUT MY ACCOUNT.  TRY CALLING
SOMEONE OR EMAIL BEFORE CANCELING AN ACCOUNT.  THAT WOULD INDICATE THAT
YOU ACTUALLY VALUE MY EXISTENCE AS A CUSTOMER.  BUT PERHAPS THIS IS THE
REAL ISSUE, YOU DO NOT VALUE ME AS A CUSTOMER AT ALL....

LAME RESPONSE 5:

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience
experienced.  We assure you that providing you
with the best possible service is our top priority.
We think that you will find, given the chance, our
automated phone service can be an efficient and
effective way of accessing information about your
account.
However, if you are not able to access the information
needed via our phone service or e-mail us at dvd_customer_
service@columbiahouse.com, or write us at Columbia House
DVD Club, PO Box 91602, Indianapolis, IN 46291-0612.

As stated earlier,it was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored by your credit card
company.

Prior to receiving your instructions to withhold
the Director's Selection, or because we did not
receive a response to your selection card by the
date specified, an attempt was made to automatically
process following selections :

LEGEND OF ZORR
LORD OF WAR
WED CRSH UR
WAR WORLDS 2005
MADAGASCAR 2005
CHARLIE CHOCO
BATMAN BEGINS
MONSTER-IN-LAW
CONSTANTINE

Due to this status, you were removed from our on-line database.

If you wish to reactivate your membership, please update your credit
card information.you may either provide the updated information via fax
at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service at 1-800-262-2001 for
assistance.

Please be assured that a soon as this information has been updated your
account will be re-instated.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Benny Foster
Customer Service

REQUEST 6:

THIS IS BULL.  WHY WOULD YOU AUTOMATICALLY PROCESS ALL OF THOSE
SELECTIONS WHEN THOSE ARE DIRECTOR'S SELECTIONS THAT I DECLINED?
  
ONCE AGAIN, WHAT ARE THE KEY STROKES TO UPDATE MY INFORMATION OVER
THE PHONE.  WHEN I CALL THAT NUMBER IT ONLY GIVES ME THE OPTION TO CHECK
MY ACCOUNT OR MAKE AN ORDER.  WHERE IS THE OPTION TO UPDATE MY CARD
INFORMATION?
  
 MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOUR SYSTEM IS EITHER SCREWED OR YOU DO NOT HONOR
THE REFUSALS THAT I HAVE MADE FOR DIRECTOR'S SELECTION.  WITH THE
EXCEPTION OF LEGEND OF ZORRO, I REFUSED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE TITLES THAT
YOU LIST.  I TRIED TO LOGON TO REFUSE THE ZORRO BUT I COULD NOT DO SO!

LAME RESPONSE 6:
As requested, shipment of the current automatic
selection is being withheld.

Therefore, if a change is needed
you may either provide the updated information via fax
at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service at
1-800-262-2001 for assistance.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Pete McFly
Customer Service

REQUEST 7:

DO YOU PEOPLE READ AT ALL?  YES YOU MAY BE OF SERVICE.  NOT FURTHER
SERVICE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE YET TO BE OF SERVICE AT ALL.  THERE IS NO
CUSTOMER SERVICE AT THAT NUMBER.  THERE IS AN AUTOMATED SYSTEM THAT HAS YET
TO BE OF ANY SERVICE AT ALL IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION.  APPARENTLY,
YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN A LOOK AT MY PAST ORDERS.  I MAY NOT MAKE FREQUENT
ORDERS, BUT I USUALLY ORDER OVER $100 WORTH OF DVD'S AT A TIME.  I GUESS
I HAVE NOT SPENT ENOUGH TO WARRANT MY ACCOUNT.
  
HOW CAN YOU BE OF FURTHER SERVICE:
  
OPEN MY ACCOUNT ON THE INTERNET SO I CAN UPDATE MY CARD INFORMATION.
  
THAT IS ALL.  ANYTHING ELSE YOU DO IS COMPLETELY FRIVOLOUS.  THESE
EMAILS ARE REDUNDANT AND INANE.  YOU ARE NOT AND HAVE NOT HELPED ME AT
ALL.  YOU PEOPLE KEEP RESPONDING WITH A DIFFERENT REPRESENTATIVE, AND NOT
ONE OF YOU HAS DONE ANYTHING REMOTELY PRODUCTIVE YET.
  
THE MOST IRRITATING PART IS THAT OVER THE PHONE, WITH A HUMAN, THIS
WOULD HAVE BEEN RESOLVED IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER.  IF YOU THINK THIS
IS EFFICIENT, YOU MUST THINK CONSTIPATION IS EQUIVALENT TO REGULARITY.
  
GET IT TOGETHER!

LAME RESPONSE 7:

It was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored
by your credit card company.Due to this status,
you were removed from our on-line database.

If you wish to reactivate your membership, please
provide the updated credit card information via fax
at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service at 1-800-262-2001
for assistance.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Micah Bishop
Customer Service

"How are we doing? Please take a moment to fill out a quick survey. The
survey is located at the following URL:
http://www.endusersurvey.com/default.asp?project_code=chc&code=7290
Thanks!"

REQUEST 8:

here is a hint.  two hints actually.  first, read the emails that are
clearly included in this email and located at the bottom of this
message.  last, stop giving me the same erroneous information.  your current
method of account servicing plainly sucks.  you obviously are not
reading my messages at all.  why do you even bother to attach your names to
these messages?  it is not like i get to deal with the same person when
i respond.  apparently, my patronage is not respected or further
desired.  you have yet to honor my request and your reasoning is patently
fallacious.  this is not useful or "of further service."  the worst part
about it is your prices do not lend themselves to me accepting this
treatment.  you must not like the business.  Walmart is less expensive,
Netflix is less expensive, and Deep Discount DVD is way less expensive. 
not to mention that the available selection from these operations is far
better than yours.  in short:  YOUR DICKEATING SERVICE EATS ASS!
  
have a great life and much luck with the future of your shitty
customer disservice!

LAME RESPONSE 8:

We regret your previous email was not
handled to your satisfaction.  Please be assured,
no discourtesy was intended.

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience
experienced.  We assure you that providing you
with the best possible service is our top priority.
We think that you will find, given the chance, our
automated phone service can be an efficient and
effective way of accessing information about your
account.

However, if you are not able to access the information
needed via our phone service, you write us at:

Columbia HouseDVD Club
PO Box 91602
Indianapolis, IN 46291-0612.

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience. 
If we may be of further assistance, please let us
know.

Sincerely,
Marie Eckerle
Customer Service

REQUEST 9:

so now you want me to waste a stamp and more time to not get the same
service rep.  you guys really suck.  you have no idea what service is. 
it has been a month plus and i still have not gotten the service i
requested.
  
you cannot even seem to assign one representative to an issue until
that issue is resolved.  that would be an inkling of service.  have i
gotten that? hell no.
  
get a fucking grip.

LAME RESPONSE 9:

Your recent e-mail message has been received but
we are unable to determine your wishes.  If you
will provide complete details of your request,
we will be happy to assist you. 

Please be advised that we are not obligated to
respond to vulgar, abusive, or insulting language.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Betty Post
Customer Service

REQUEST 10:

either re-open my account so i can update my card information or lose
my business.  it is interesting that you would reference my language
usage, indicating that you read part of the previous emails, but you claim
to be unaware of what service i have REPEATEDLY requested.  you people
do not deserve customers like me.  if it were not for the principle of
the matter, i would not still be bothered.  your service as it
currently exists is completely devoid of CUSTOMER.  you officially suck.

LAME RESPONSE 10:
Please accept our apology for the inconvenience
you have experienced.

However, in order for us to reactive your account it will be necessary
for you to submit your new credit card information either by fax or
regular mail.

Columbia House DVD Club
PO Box 91602
Indianapolis, IN 46291-0612

FAX #1-800-590-6656

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Betty Post
Customer Service

more to come?  perhaps, but why?

make like customer service at CH

PEACE