according to my maternal progenitor, i am an idiot savant. why in the fuck would she ever tell anyone something like that? 'cause she was throwed the fuck off. call it hate. call it whatever you'd like, but that was pretty dark to say the least. i prefer to call it the evilness that seemed to prevail in her human minglings. i try not to function in such a way. don't wanna die like she did...
i find the incorrect assessment interesting at this stage in my human existence for a very significant reason: i am an artist.
i have been artistic my entire life. sadly, my intellectual prowess became the beloved characteristic of my emotionally dysfunctional biological contributors. perhaps it's the Taurus in me, but i have consistently found ways to resuscitate the life of my true nature. somehow, many people seem to believe that artistic types are not quite intellectual. i find this odd. my studies recall various cats that clearly do not support such ideas. Mr. DaVinci especially sheds light on the foolishness of such concepts.
i suppose one could neglect intellectual endeavors for the sake of purely artistic pursuits, but the abilities of the artist benefit from the accumulation of knowledge no different from the perceived academic. how do you improve your natural skill level w/o study? does not one's natural ability become more finely tuned through the practice of one's study? this applies to many if not all fields. which athlete performs better, the one w/raw talent, or the one w/raw talent & a high capacity for understanding the strategy & mechanics of the athletic endeavor?
i am quite excited to be in a position where i can truly support my artistic endeavors far more vigorously than at any time in my human journey so far. no thanks to either of my cell donors, i am beginning to realize levels of creative energy & expression that i have only previously dreamt about.
resilience is making life work...
make like i hope the Cardinals win the Super Bowl...
PEACE
...be calm...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
the angry black man...
life's progress has lead me to be far more considerate & peaceful w/respect to my universal being. there is nothing more significant than my spiritual presence & what it represents in the universe.
that said, it is mildly frustrating to consider that as a human, in my finite being state of mind, that i will likely not ever have the choice of ignoring my ethnic nationality. the idea of Black/African-American history month is blah & stank to me.
WTF is an African-American? how often other than here are European-Americans referred to as such? i could be a Native/Irish/Whatever African nationality-American. again, i will likely never get to know such a thing. Africa is not a fucking country. Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Thai, etc. people do not refer to themselves generally as Asian-Americans. it isn't something to necessarily focus on in an effort to be permanently irate, but it is an issue.
thanks to the African Holocaust, my ethnic nationality is as ambiguous as whatever the fuck. i'm not rolling like A. Haley, so i'm not about to go looking for my original peeps. even if i did, there is the sick realization that i may be unacceptable to those cats. imagine that...
this is 1 of the reasons i remain independent in my thoughts & continue to explore this sick as thing we all agree is our perceived reality...
make like Obama isn't the guy who recently secured presence in history...
PEACE
...be calm...
that said, it is mildly frustrating to consider that as a human, in my finite being state of mind, that i will likely not ever have the choice of ignoring my ethnic nationality. the idea of Black/African-American history month is blah & stank to me.
WTF is an African-American? how often other than here are European-Americans referred to as such? i could be a Native/Irish/Whatever African nationality-American. again, i will likely never get to know such a thing. Africa is not a fucking country. Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Thai, etc. people do not refer to themselves generally as Asian-Americans. it isn't something to necessarily focus on in an effort to be permanently irate, but it is an issue.
thanks to the African Holocaust, my ethnic nationality is as ambiguous as whatever the fuck. i'm not rolling like A. Haley, so i'm not about to go looking for my original peeps. even if i did, there is the sick realization that i may be unacceptable to those cats. imagine that...
this is 1 of the reasons i remain independent in my thoughts & continue to explore this sick as thing we all agree is our perceived reality...
make like Obama isn't the guy who recently secured presence in history...
PEACE
...be calm...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
essential reflections of creation...
resiliency is an important characteristic for the emotional state of mind. i'd have to question the abundance of mine over the last 10-15 years. it can be rather difficult depending on the level of adversity faced & the support systems that do or do not exist.
my support systems have been consistently, relatively non-existent over the course of my life thus far. sadly, reflection indicates that too often i relied on non-supportive relationships during times of truly strenuous personal adversity.
it is not a good indicator when you put individuals in places where they do not belong in your support structure simply because there is no one else to fill those gaps. being aware of this behavior is clearly essential in defeating its negative consequences.
i've only begun to truly respect this social misstep for its utterly horrible potential over the last 5-6 years. for those who have great support structures w/sincere individuals, that's great. be aware & appreciate that shit. for those of us surrounded by slackers & jackers, watch your back & be your own support.
fuck it. if you do not believe in you, no one else will really give a fuck. honestly, it isn't really anyone else's job anyway. why beat yourself up when you fuck up? the world will do it for you, even when you don't fuck up. a fuck up is ultimately a lesson if it is interpreted in any healthy way. even the worst fuck up is the basis of some important life lesson. the ability to appreciate such an approach to life is the difference between wisdom & folly...
make like i'm not a Pittsburgh fan...
PEACE
...be calm...
my support systems have been consistently, relatively non-existent over the course of my life thus far. sadly, reflection indicates that too often i relied on non-supportive relationships during times of truly strenuous personal adversity.
it is not a good indicator when you put individuals in places where they do not belong in your support structure simply because there is no one else to fill those gaps. being aware of this behavior is clearly essential in defeating its negative consequences.
i've only begun to truly respect this social misstep for its utterly horrible potential over the last 5-6 years. for those who have great support structures w/sincere individuals, that's great. be aware & appreciate that shit. for those of us surrounded by slackers & jackers, watch your back & be your own support.
fuck it. if you do not believe in you, no one else will really give a fuck. honestly, it isn't really anyone else's job anyway. why beat yourself up when you fuck up? the world will do it for you, even when you don't fuck up. a fuck up is ultimately a lesson if it is interpreted in any healthy way. even the worst fuck up is the basis of some important life lesson. the ability to appreciate such an approach to life is the difference between wisdom & folly...
make like i'm not a Pittsburgh fan...
PEACE
...be calm...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
snotty nose & dusty ho's...
Pineapple Express is a crazy ass movie...
loved that shit...
yaaay boogies!
...or is it boogers?
anyway, gotta cop that shniz gizzle.
Boats & Ho's is the shit too...[figure that shit out!]
make like i won't be stupidly excited if i'm able to record in this joinkly joink that my squiz got the wiz in the supiz biztiz...
PEACE
...be calm...
loved that shit...
yaaay boogies!
...or is it boogers?
anyway, gotta cop that shniz gizzle.
Boats & Ho's is the shit too...[figure that shit out!]
make like i won't be stupidly excited if i'm able to record in this joinkly joink that my squiz got the wiz in the supiz biztiz...
PEACE
...be calm...
Monday, January 19, 2009
caught one...
yaaay!
consider this: [as i sit here listening to 1 of my creations...]
Repubcon types seem to disparage against big government & regulation. from this observation i think it's safe to suggest that the last 8 years of wandering around in the shrubbery was a great experiment in allowing such policies to develop to their socio-economic full potential.
can you say global economic failure?
DOH!
i'm not a big fan of the current form(s) of capitalism, but that does not negate the following point:
the people who do not want to spend $ on social services & big government have created and economic environment where more $ is being spent & more bureaucracy is being created to fix the shit that they created from irresponsible socio-economic policies.
WTF!
i believe that the United States has just been witness to the worst president of all so far. if one comes along later that is worse, that person should be removed from government office as hastily as possible, by whatever means necessary. and yes, i am including mercing.
i don't think Dumbya should have been merced, but you can't argue much against the observation that his administration has left a grand trail of fuck uppery for the entire world to experience. now they all get to go home & chill in their affluent little cribs, living the rest of their oblivious lives.
the average guy?
shit as usual...
the sheep just refuse to wake up & rise up...
keep getting shaved & slaughtered...
there's more of us than them, but you wouldn't know it from the way the world operates...
make like the powers that be could kill the entirety of the true majority if said majority so chose to finally wake up & organize against the bullshit...
PEACE
...be calm...
consider this: [as i sit here listening to 1 of my creations...]
Repubcon types seem to disparage against big government & regulation. from this observation i think it's safe to suggest that the last 8 years of wandering around in the shrubbery was a great experiment in allowing such policies to develop to their socio-economic full potential.
can you say global economic failure?
DOH!
i'm not a big fan of the current form(s) of capitalism, but that does not negate the following point:
the people who do not want to spend $ on social services & big government have created and economic environment where more $ is being spent & more bureaucracy is being created to fix the shit that they created from irresponsible socio-economic policies.
WTF!
i believe that the United States has just been witness to the worst president of all so far. if one comes along later that is worse, that person should be removed from government office as hastily as possible, by whatever means necessary. and yes, i am including mercing.
i don't think Dumbya should have been merced, but you can't argue much against the observation that his administration has left a grand trail of fuck uppery for the entire world to experience. now they all get to go home & chill in their affluent little cribs, living the rest of their oblivious lives.
the average guy?
shit as usual...
the sheep just refuse to wake up & rise up...
keep getting shaved & slaughtered...
there's more of us than them, but you wouldn't know it from the way the world operates...
make like the powers that be could kill the entirety of the true majority if said majority so chose to finally wake up & organize against the bullshit...
PEACE
...be calm...
Sunday, January 18, 2009
spiritual masturbation...
i realized a few days ago the true importance of inspiration. many people seek it in order to maintain efficient positive functioning as humans. ask anyone w/the ability to effectively communicate and i'm sure they can come up w/at least 3 peeps they find inspirational.
i bet none of those 3 is their mirror mate...
i have a better understanding now of the importance of not standing on the inspiration of others. humans seem to chose other humans that they believe are not going to fail them in their inspirational duties, or they manufacture stories & images of such inspirational figures. these actions can be dangerous if only because humans can fail & stories are often left wide open to the spears of human perception & interpretation.
why not inspire the self?
if one has confidence in self, not vanity or conceit, but faith & confidence in self, then one should find the self inspiring. i'm sure there are some religious types that would suggest this is blasphemous, but god is inspiring to many of these people, so what i suggest applies from a universal spiritualist perspective.
the reflections of the infinite nature of the universe that light the path to triumph over the finite nature of being are the reflections of one's nature as god.
inspire the self & keep the self up. this does not mean to ignore the fact that humans are finite & highly fallible, but to embrace the infinite nature of the universe that is found in the higher functioning aspects of the human mind.
make like i wish i didn't realize this wonderful concept of perceptual functioning...
PEACE
...be calm...
i bet none of those 3 is their mirror mate...
i have a better understanding now of the importance of not standing on the inspiration of others. humans seem to chose other humans that they believe are not going to fail them in their inspirational duties, or they manufacture stories & images of such inspirational figures. these actions can be dangerous if only because humans can fail & stories are often left wide open to the spears of human perception & interpretation.
why not inspire the self?
if one has confidence in self, not vanity or conceit, but faith & confidence in self, then one should find the self inspiring. i'm sure there are some religious types that would suggest this is blasphemous, but god is inspiring to many of these people, so what i suggest applies from a universal spiritualist perspective.
the reflections of the infinite nature of the universe that light the path to triumph over the finite nature of being are the reflections of one's nature as god.
inspire the self & keep the self up. this does not mean to ignore the fact that humans are finite & highly fallible, but to embrace the infinite nature of the universe that is found in the higher functioning aspects of the human mind.
make like i wish i didn't realize this wonderful concept of perceptual functioning...
PEACE
...be calm...
the mind's attendance...
the truth is my mind can go missing. when i was a kid i recall my moms used to comment about my tendency to daydream. my love for reading is a positive extension of my minds natural tendency to wander/wonder.
reading does not occupy all of my attention unless i'm studying for some organized academic purpose (exam, class, etc.). i can generally listen to audio, read, watch some video w/audio, & have a conversation at the same time. if i really want to focus on 1 thing or the other, i will, but generally i don't have to operate that way. reading allows my mind to wander off into its various places to create images, connect & build thoughts, & generally stroke my intellect. love that shit...
i am brought to this particular train of thought because i often have so many thoughts floating around inside my mind at any 1 time, it can be difficult to catch all of them & commit them to some type of stored record, as here...
so, this blog often represents the times when an idea poofs into the prominent areas of the mind & i'm able to successfully grab the fucker. they can be slippery. some of the best of them slide in & out of my direct thought patterns, fucking w/me all day/week/month. it can be frustrating. what i've learned to do is let them come & go. relaxing on them allows me to grab more than when i used to trip about my many thoughts & ideas.
i still bug a li'l bit, but it's nowhere near the level of my early 20's. i have gotten used to putting shit here, so there are times when i'll come up w/something, but i either let it slip off or i'm not near an input device. these things do happen...
either way, my mind is my faithful interface w/the infinite, so i respect it's nature of operation. as long as i lean it towards universal functioning as opposed to human functioning, i generally tend to be all right...
make like i post everything i ever think about posting exactly when i think about posting it...
PEACE
...be calm...
reading does not occupy all of my attention unless i'm studying for some organized academic purpose (exam, class, etc.). i can generally listen to audio, read, watch some video w/audio, & have a conversation at the same time. if i really want to focus on 1 thing or the other, i will, but generally i don't have to operate that way. reading allows my mind to wander off into its various places to create images, connect & build thoughts, & generally stroke my intellect. love that shit...
i am brought to this particular train of thought because i often have so many thoughts floating around inside my mind at any 1 time, it can be difficult to catch all of them & commit them to some type of stored record, as here...
so, this blog often represents the times when an idea poofs into the prominent areas of the mind & i'm able to successfully grab the fucker. they can be slippery. some of the best of them slide in & out of my direct thought patterns, fucking w/me all day/week/month. it can be frustrating. what i've learned to do is let them come & go. relaxing on them allows me to grab more than when i used to trip about my many thoughts & ideas.
i still bug a li'l bit, but it's nowhere near the level of my early 20's. i have gotten used to putting shit here, so there are times when i'll come up w/something, but i either let it slip off or i'm not near an input device. these things do happen...
either way, my mind is my faithful interface w/the infinite, so i respect it's nature of operation. as long as i lean it towards universal functioning as opposed to human functioning, i generally tend to be all right...
make like i post everything i ever think about posting exactly when i think about posting it...
PEACE
...be calm...
Monday, January 12, 2009
w/o a doubt...
would i still be able to find a way to beat myself up over the small shit?
i swear to belly juice that i've got anxiety issues along w/all my other psycho-social, emotional oddities. fortunately i know a way to safely calm my crazy ass down.
it's a bit frustrating to know you have an issue, have an idea how to approach the issue in a positive mindset, but some nut ass shit occurs anyway.
such is the nature...
so the Chokels have opened up the pathways of their athletic breathing apparatus.
imagine that...
i'm still a Pittsburgh fan, but i'm not going to hate on the Chokels as they pull their post-season successes outta the ass of their wayward regular season...
make like i don't have any financial issues whatsoever during this global economic collapse...
PEACE
...be calm...
i swear to belly juice that i've got anxiety issues along w/all my other psycho-social, emotional oddities. fortunately i know a way to safely calm my crazy ass down.
it's a bit frustrating to know you have an issue, have an idea how to approach the issue in a positive mindset, but some nut ass shit occurs anyway.
such is the nature...
so the Chokels have opened up the pathways of their athletic breathing apparatus.
imagine that...
i'm still a Pittsburgh fan, but i'm not going to hate on the Chokels as they pull their post-season successes outta the ass of their wayward regular season...
make like i don't have any financial issues whatsoever during this global economic collapse...
PEACE
...be calm...
Friday, January 09, 2009
hell's meanderings...
'the fuck am i here to accomplish?
not a question you want to be asking on a regular basis. leads to disturbing thought patterns. story of my life thus far.
have a message, but not necessarily the most satisfactory methods to disseminate to a thoroughly unwilling audience...
i am the 1st to clearly acknowledge that whatever suffering i perceive to experience pales in comparison to thousands/millions of other beings, but it is suffering no less painful to me.
is that selfish? perhaps.
fuck it.
maybe my idealism blinds me to believe that none should suffer, at least not to the extent that many do in this era of human existence. is there not enough global resource to do away w/such shit?
are professional sports necessary for humans to live? anyone bored enough to add the salaries of all those involved in pro sports? athletes, coaches, & executive staff? what's the total on that? how does it compare to the current deficit?
how much does it cost to produce the various forms of entertainment programming for media consumption? billions? trillions?
CGI isn't free is it? is it needed?
i know food, shelter, healthcare, etc. is...
humans are pretty fucked up if you consider the complete lack of priority that pervades the daily existence of the species.
this is not a reflection of high intelligence at all.
choice ≠ intellectual prowess
WTF!
make like the human race actually has this shit all figured out...
PEACE
...be calm...
not a question you want to be asking on a regular basis. leads to disturbing thought patterns. story of my life thus far.
have a message, but not necessarily the most satisfactory methods to disseminate to a thoroughly unwilling audience...
i am the 1st to clearly acknowledge that whatever suffering i perceive to experience pales in comparison to thousands/millions of other beings, but it is suffering no less painful to me.
is that selfish? perhaps.
fuck it.
maybe my idealism blinds me to believe that none should suffer, at least not to the extent that many do in this era of human existence. is there not enough global resource to do away w/such shit?
are professional sports necessary for humans to live? anyone bored enough to add the salaries of all those involved in pro sports? athletes, coaches, & executive staff? what's the total on that? how does it compare to the current deficit?
how much does it cost to produce the various forms of entertainment programming for media consumption? billions? trillions?
CGI isn't free is it? is it needed?
i know food, shelter, healthcare, etc. is...
humans are pretty fucked up if you consider the complete lack of priority that pervades the daily existence of the species.
this is not a reflection of high intelligence at all.
choice ≠ intellectual prowess
WTF!
make like the human race actually has this shit all figured out...
PEACE
...be calm...
reality strikes...
Kwanzaa & Scientology
not in the same breath. there are no comparisons.
but there is one that a seemingly conservative/right-winged co-worker of mine felt the need to point out:
THEY ARE BOTH MADE UP....
is that demeaning in any way? is at all offensive to anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa or Scientology?
1st off, i support K, but i've always questioned that it is celebrated so closely to Cmas. which actually brings me to my intended point:
isn't all this shit made up?
yuppers!
Christianity, Scientology, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, etc.
pick whatever religion you dig, that shit was made up at some point in human history. how significant is it, in the broad scope of human history, when a particular spiritual path was developed and recognized as beneficial to a highly varied group of humans?
every spiritual path currently known to human perception is just that: perceived & created by the human mind.
does that mean these paths are not real?
i would not agree, but it does tend to lend weight to the idea that no one path is the best. there are no chosen practitioners.
how motivational is it for a leader or leaders of humans to devise a set of socially beneficial practices that benefit the group & individual, and then tell the followers/practitioners that the particular set of practices is the way, the truth, & the only light?
you are going to be the best positioned to receive a return on your spiritual investment if you follow these methods.
all it takes is to add in the great common human characteristic of interpretation to foul up the development & perpetuation of the particularly popular paths.
the destination is the same.
if you are not causing harm to self & others by following it, what difference does the path you follow really make?
it ain't just Scientology that's made up. all this shit is...
if humans did not exist, what religion would the universe be...
make like humans really generally just get the hell out of existence & always have...
PEACE
...be calm...
not in the same breath. there are no comparisons.
but there is one that a seemingly conservative/right-winged co-worker of mine felt the need to point out:
THEY ARE BOTH MADE UP....
is that demeaning in any way? is at all offensive to anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa or Scientology?
1st off, i support K, but i've always questioned that it is celebrated so closely to Cmas. which actually brings me to my intended point:
isn't all this shit made up?
yuppers!
Christianity, Scientology, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, etc.
pick whatever religion you dig, that shit was made up at some point in human history. how significant is it, in the broad scope of human history, when a particular spiritual path was developed and recognized as beneficial to a highly varied group of humans?
every spiritual path currently known to human perception is just that: perceived & created by the human mind.
does that mean these paths are not real?
i would not agree, but it does tend to lend weight to the idea that no one path is the best. there are no chosen practitioners.
how motivational is it for a leader or leaders of humans to devise a set of socially beneficial practices that benefit the group & individual, and then tell the followers/practitioners that the particular set of practices is the way, the truth, & the only light?
you are going to be the best positioned to receive a return on your spiritual investment if you follow these methods.
all it takes is to add in the great common human characteristic of interpretation to foul up the development & perpetuation of the particularly popular paths.
the destination is the same.
if you are not causing harm to self & others by following it, what difference does the path you follow really make?
it ain't just Scientology that's made up. all this shit is...
if humans did not exist, what religion would the universe be...
make like humans really generally just get the hell out of existence & always have...
PEACE
...be calm...
regarding a flamboyant encounter
am i homophobic?
yes, but only in the sense that i detest peeps that find the need to excessively embrace gender specific behaviors.
what's that all about?
if you prefer a particular genital set for sexual pleasuring, what does that really have to do w/your dress & social behaviors? an effeminate male is seen as gay. a hard ass woman is seen as gay. WTF?
these types of things lead me to argue that homosexuality, while not a conscious decision, is not a biological phenomenon. i believe there are peeps that will take exception to this perspective, but they can eat a dick, & i mean this.
again, your desire to slurp on a dick or a pussy does not determine your social functioning patterns. that seems to be an indication of learned behavior. why associate acting like a female w/your desire to sexually enjoy a penis? the ideas of what behaviors are associated w/a woman's behavior are taught.
here's where you get gray: is sexual preference taught? i don't generally think it is, but it seems it can be influenced in some ways by nurture. this is purely anecdotal, but i can recall more than 1 gay individual that expressed some case of sexual molestation in the past. it's an interesting association, but in no way would i ever suggest that this is the origin or cause of gayness. that'd be some utter bullshit. all i'm saying is why act like a chick if you like dick?
this post has been sponsored by the gay ass litter bug who left trash all over the back of the bus while i was on my way to work. 2 things i truly find irritating, gay people who feel the need to adopt gender associated behaviors to pronounce their sexuality, & litter bugs...
that shit just irks the fuck outta me...
make like dude was not a loud flamboyant that i could hear above my portable audio entertainment, the bus noise, & my foam ear plugs that i wear to avoid listening to irritating human vocal interactions...
PEACE
...be calm...
yes, but only in the sense that i detest peeps that find the need to excessively embrace gender specific behaviors.
what's that all about?
if you prefer a particular genital set for sexual pleasuring, what does that really have to do w/your dress & social behaviors? an effeminate male is seen as gay. a hard ass woman is seen as gay. WTF?
these types of things lead me to argue that homosexuality, while not a conscious decision, is not a biological phenomenon. i believe there are peeps that will take exception to this perspective, but they can eat a dick, & i mean this.
again, your desire to slurp on a dick or a pussy does not determine your social functioning patterns. that seems to be an indication of learned behavior. why associate acting like a female w/your desire to sexually enjoy a penis? the ideas of what behaviors are associated w/a woman's behavior are taught.
here's where you get gray: is sexual preference taught? i don't generally think it is, but it seems it can be influenced in some ways by nurture. this is purely anecdotal, but i can recall more than 1 gay individual that expressed some case of sexual molestation in the past. it's an interesting association, but in no way would i ever suggest that this is the origin or cause of gayness. that'd be some utter bullshit. all i'm saying is why act like a chick if you like dick?
this post has been sponsored by the gay ass litter bug who left trash all over the back of the bus while i was on my way to work. 2 things i truly find irritating, gay people who feel the need to adopt gender associated behaviors to pronounce their sexuality, & litter bugs...
that shit just irks the fuck outta me...
make like dude was not a loud flamboyant that i could hear above my portable audio entertainment, the bus noise, & my foam ear plugs that i wear to avoid listening to irritating human vocal interactions...
PEACE
...be calm...
Thursday, January 01, 2009
the begending...
HAPPY NEW YEAR MOTHER-FUCKERS!
okay...
this year begins as last year ended, w/shit not going quite as planned. generally speaking, that shit is quite irksome.
whatcu gonna do though?
make like i'm not about to go cleanse my sacks & cavities...
PEACE
...be calm...
okay...
this year begins as last year ended, w/shit not going quite as planned. generally speaking, that shit is quite irksome.
whatcu gonna do though?
make like i'm not about to go cleanse my sacks & cavities...
PEACE
...be calm...
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