hey i tried. seems i missed a few days. i was trying to maintain a daily routine of entries, but whatever. 'tis better this way anyway. now i don't have to pinch my neurons to come up with a different phrase to close the blizzie izzie. now onto the meat...
WARNING: the following may be offensive and/or TMI.
if you are reading this, you've managed to brave the unknown and i shall reward you accordingly. excrement. that's right dookie. fesces. shit. poop. people pies. butt lumps...you get the idea. why am i so concerned with human solid waste? quite simply, mine does not fit in the damn tizoile at home. now you probably could care less, but taking a dump should never be a chore. bowel relief is 1 of life's most memorable feelings. there are many things that leave the human body and bring relief upon their exit, but i can only think of 2 that can be deemed even remotely pleasurable and/or truly relieving. the 1st is of course the release of an orgasm. i'm a sexually liberated individual, but i won't get into that here. another time your woman's face (no just serious...[SMIRK.]). the 2nd is more of a relief experience than a pleasure experience and is embodied in the fecal depository process. so, that being said and assumed accepted, what in the world could be my issue w/make toilet fudge?
quite simply stated, the new toilets are too small for my shit. i thought it was me at 1st. then i recalled that newer toilets are smaller. the cause is honorable, to save water, but the results don't justify the means. if i have to reflush the tizoile 3-4 times and plunge it every time i bust a brownie for a swim, i think i'm using more water than the old school tizoiles. an old commode did not take 3-5 tanks of water to get my fesces pieces down the twisting wet bowl of funk. sometimes a seemingly great idea circumvents common sense and practicality. i mean literally almost every time i take a dump, i have to flush 2-3 times then plunge. then i've got to flush 1 or 2 more times once the toilet eats its snack to make sure the plunger is "cleaned" off. no pleasure or relief in that.
having trouble relating? imagine you've got the bestiliosest altered state of consciousness from whatever foreign substance you may chose to intermingle with your flesh. all of a sudden, a big ass fucking Airbus crashes near enough to where you are that your roof completely disintigrates from the force of the explosion. some crazy shit like this happens and all of a sudden, your consciousness doesn't have time for any altered states. i've heard this phenomenom difinedas
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