apparently Mr. Smith does not wipe his ass w/toilet paper. at some point in time i may have had a problem w/such a practice, but it appears that this is solid.
i'm not going to be carrying wipes around w/me everywhere i go, but i will go on record as advocating washing out the ass crack after a good log deposit. i can vouch for the anti-skidmarkishness of this method of post bowel movement behavior. skidmarks are far worse than dingleberries, but this practice essentially alleviates both.
how can you possibly have any dingleberries if you do not use paper? even if you continue to use tissue paper, which i do, you still should not have any dberries, 'cause the washing of the ass crack will remove said dberries.
so, the general idea is to do your thing when needing to shit. try to get there before anything actually comes out of your ass, but once your solid waste has shared itself w/your asscrack, soap & water work wonders...
make like bad breath doesn't stink like ass...
PEACE
...be calm...
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