when the bladder says go...

i am constantly fighting the shit in me that says "fuck it."

it's goddamn hard. sadly, i've managed to arrange an environment that provides little if any moral support for the path that i have chosen to follow. clearly this is not an issue for those who consistently make moves in life. i am apparently not one of those humans.

regardless of the reason, i tend to regularly check self in ways that can be seriously detrimental to progress in the face of blatant haterism & adversity. it's motherfucking frustrating.

you'd think i'd be used to getting fucked over by those who have been designated as fam, but i'm not. it still fucks me up.

no matter what kind of support system i try to establish around myself, it seems to never quite be what i envisioned or intended. perhaps i'm trying to fight the soloist tendency of my entire life. i don't think it is meant for humans to be truly solo. in the same breath, i find i'm regularly highly irritated by the presence of other humans.

peeps generally get on my goddamned nerves.

litterers, idiots, fat people, noisy fuckers, etc. always seems to be some irritant somewhere.

it's a daily struggle to maintain, & most cats around me have no idea whatsoever how violent and/or malicious my thoughts can be sometimes.

make like any of my teams won their game 1 in the NBA semis...

PEACE
...be calm...