mike ain't dead...

wow...

i can't believe this shit. am i a fan? hell's yeah. of his music anyway.

i have to say i dig the older shit mostly. Dangerous was a nice surprise. Teddy Riley hooked that shit up.

would i leave my kids w/Mike? hell's fuckin' no!

i don't think he molested either of those kids, but i'm always going to have a problem w/a grown ass man sleeping in the same bed as strange children. that's just weird. that's Mike: weird...

i don't think he's really dead though...

being dead is a great way to get out of 50 concert dates that you can't keep & however many millions of $ you owe. dead artists sell lots of music...

make like Farrah Fawcett didn't die on the worst possible day...

PEACE
...be calm...

i hate giving away $$$...

capitalism breeds so many predatory business practices. it's truly sad that so many humans accept these practices. it's even more sad that so many are willing to not only accept such practices, but continue to perpetuate them.

i fucked up & forgot to pay on a credit account. the fuckers got me for a $29 late charge. i can't complain about that, 'cause i know there are late charges. the problem is the general idea that this shit is an acceptable way to conduct business.

think about it, credit companies will only make money off of the fees they charge merchants, unless consumers carry a balance. the system is essentially set up to exploit your financial difficulties. financial agencies that do not charge the consumer an annual fee are clearly expecting to earn from the interest created by carrying a balance.

this is an amazingly perfectly legal business model for financial services in this society. i guess it's not as bad as insurance...

AIG anyone...

make like insurance isn't the sickest legal scam in existence...

PEACE
...be calm...

visitations from proliferia...

i have always been steered by creative energies in life. seems sometimes this is at odds w/my logical aspects. i would have to admit to a favoring of my left brain, but my right brain does not fuck around like that at all.

my respect & love for art in its various forms has always been something that brings me great peace in life. this is true for poetry, music, photography, painting, sculpture, drawing, etc. not to suggest that i create using all these mediums, but i do find peace in experiencing the creations of others, if not my own.

when i was a kid, i used to write stories & make comic books 'n' shit like that. i still come up w/story ideas, skits, scenarios, etc. my lack of focus kicks me in the ass w/follow through on most of these ideas. fortunately i'm aware of this & i try to work against it. it is highly unreasonable to expect to achieve any significant level of progress w/o focused effort & persistence.

make like i'm not my greatest hater...

PEACE
...be calm...

i lied...

i said i'd never wear anything w/spandex in it...

oops...

in the search for drawers that don't cause discomfort i found myself copping some fucking Jockey drawers.

guess that means i lied 2x, 'cause i said i'd never wear Jockey's either...

these motherfuckers are comfortable...

fuck it.

make like Conan's not a nut for bringing this big ass statue up into the studio...

PEACE
...be calm...

wow...

talk about getting shit on...

i just typed a good page or so blog entry & blogger and/or my browser just said, "fuck it." dunno how that happened.

don't feel like reshaping the content. i'll have to rework it later.

i was supposed to be posting daily this month, but that clearly has not happened.

it's not all bad. that means i'm actually busy doing life shit instead of being in front of a goddamned monitor typing shit onto some web interface or social networking site...

imagine that...

make like i dig booking my face or catching up on what the twits are doing...

PEACE
...be calm...

minor parenting malfunction...

one of the greatest experiences as a human is to help a young human understand society and learn how to operate amongst fellow humans w/o increasing the level of suffering of all parties involved.

sadly, many humans cannot honestly claim to have done the above. some of us actually create new levels of suffering in the effort to educate our young humans.

it is oddly ignorant to forget that children are only different from adults with respect to experience, physical & biological development. people will smack the shit out of a child in the name of punishment, which is often confused w/discipline, but would never do such a thing to a peer.

wouldn't it be great if i could smack the shit out of the bus driver who makes sarcastic comments when i ask if the bus sign indicating the direction of travel is correct? PLAP! don't sass me you smart assed bus driver...

quite absurd...

i don't think corporal punishment is effective. the side effects are not worth the overall results. fuck it. i speak from personal experience as a child & a parent.

i've had slip ups w/my godren. the truth is that such behavior towards young humans by adults is usually reactionary & highly emotional. not much in the way of a lesson to teach respect & discipline by threatening & beating the godren.

it's an evil & difficult cycle to break.

make like i enjoyed being abused by my egg donor...

PEACE
...be calm...

reflections of the universe...

i find the things that give me the most pleasure in life are those that reflect the beauty of existence.

various animate & inanimate objects serve to create these impressions. a singular favorite of mine is the beauty of women in general. this isn't necessarily a sexual beauty, but i suppose it'd be hard to completely separate the type of beauty i truly appreciate from sexual attraction. let's just say that sex isn't always necessary to appreciate sexual beauty.

nudity is not an issue for me. i'm not going to win any bodybuilder contests anytime soon, but i'm not uncomfortable w/my body's appearance either. that said, i am very into shape(s). symmetry is extremely appealing. bodies come in all different shapes & sizes, and various combinations create many beautiful appearances. the most beautiful to me are those that reflect symmetry.

understanding the human body & the balance of nature does not require symmetrical perfection. it's more of a physical balance. what does that mean? tits, ass, legs? sure, but even arms, neck, eyes, lips, ears, feet, head, etc. yes, i'm talking the whole body. this is why women who possess such balance are so attractive. it's not something that is frequently seen.

i saw someone today who reminds me of such balance. i don't generally forget these images. one of the reasons why i'm such an avid consumer of porn is because you can readily find naked women who seem to be comfortable w/their bodies. if that makes me a perv, then fuck it. i figure i'm not into harming anyone, & i don't dig younger chicks at all. WTF is that about...

i find women who exhibit natural physical symmetry are reflections of the beautiful nature of the universe...

make like muffin tops & spandex are a blessing from the universe...

PEACE
...be calm...

how do you spell bullshit?

i spell it:

g-e-t-t-i-n-g h-o-m-e a-t t-e-n w-h-e-n i g-o-t o-f-f a-t e-i-g-h-t

gotta love taking 2 hrs to make a 20 min trip.

i was working on a new track idea, but that usually doesn't go all that well when i'm beat (no pun intended). i'm fucky buck tired as iggle deans.

stopped taking vit'mins, 'cause they ran the fuck out. it seems i've been sleepier since i stopped taking them. could be psychological, but i may stay off'em. i can actually go to sleep in the morning when i get home from the gig...

...after my 2 hr commute....

YAAAAY!!!

make like i'm not 'bout to go see what the quizzy put in the mizzy for my grizzy...

PEACE
...be calm...

hey...

...WTF is up w/the American Apparel ads on the back of the weekly paper. it's my understanding that the dude that owns/runs the company has been involved in sexual harassment. keeping that in mind, why in the fuck are all the back page ads on some young jawn sexually suggestive tip?

most of these females are scrawnsville & look either unsure and/or insecure in the images. could be i'm reading into these joints, but some of these jawns have the deer in headlights look to'em. what is this guy doing? who the frick is the photographer? makes you wonder.

i recall there was one that said the photo shoot was in an apartment owned either by dude or the company. that just doesn't seem quite right at all.

i'm quite open minded when it comes to sexual materials, but this is a little weird.

make like Orlando has any chance whatsoever of upsetting LA...

PEACE
...be calm...

the day the U.S. almost woke the fuck up...

it'd be amazing to see how what effect not seeing TV for weeks would have on the U.S. population.

how much of the indoctrination would wear off in a relatively short period of time.

it's scary the way the media outlets have presented the idea that not having access to TV broadcasts will put citizens at risk some kind of way. half the shit on TV needs to be missed. shit, i'm willing to say 85% of the shit on TV needs to be missed. i get mad as shit sometimes 'cause i try to watch TV & there isn't shit to watch.

oh well, at least the bullshit is coming in clearer now. no more blurry bullshit. after a while, there'll be nothing but high definition, mind numbing bullshit softening up the brains of the masses.

don't think. maintain apathy & be happy w/the moldy crumbs provided. good little humans...

make like i love the shit out of TV programming...

PEACE
...be calm...

what the booty...

am i the only one who notices the sexualization of female comic characters? i remember back in high school how noticeably developed the female characters were in the G.I. Joe 'toons. knowing what i know about this being a male dominated society, it isn't too hard to figure out. even still, what's it all about?

think about it, it's okay for females to be running around in mainstream films w/tits bouncing all over the place. it's even possible on rare occasions to catch a bush on screen. best you can do to catch a male is some pecs or some ass cheeks. let a dick pop up on a screen somewhere, the goddamn theatre/monitor will instantly disintegrate. that's the impression that's given.

don't get me wrong, i'm not advocating for more on-screen dick. no thank you. i'm just saying, WTF! don't get your panties in a bunch. i'm saying nudity shouldn't be such a big deal when it does appear, male or female. why is it so damn shocking to see dicks & pussies when we all know we have them? in fact, when you really think about it, it's not always a sexual thing when nudity is seen. everybody doesn't look attractive when naked.

i'd be prone to call this some bullshit left overs from this being a Judeo-Christian society in addition to male dominated. that's probably not all fair though, 'cause various other religions/cultures are sexually repressed as well. either way, it's odd how the shit creeps out sometimes. think about the next time you see Catwoman, Batwoman, or some other female comic book character lookin' all buff in a skin tight and/or barely there super outfit...

make like this guy i work w/isn't a fucking talky-talk...

PEACE
...be calm...

luck is a 4 letter word...

i don't really fuck w/luck. it's only right though, 'cause luck didn't fuck w/me 1st. i don't even like telling people "good luck." i really don't like that shit. i prefer to say things like "do well," or "stay up." WTF is luck anyway? maybe it's another one of those great human inventions used to name the shit that we have no real control over whatsoever...

why such a concentrated effort on this controlling the unknown shit? it's a sick fear that motivates humans to avoid acknowledging what is unknown. fuck it. if we don't know, stop making shit up. nothing wrong w/a myth here or there, but don't start believing the shit like it's factual. this seems to be a disturbingly common behavior.

i don't fuck w/luck
'cause luck don't fuck w/me
why should i
waste my time
i just
leave it be

luck is not my friend
luck don't help me out
luck is always m.i.a.
when the bullshit's going down

luck can kiss my ass
luck can take a hike
some say what's not to believe
i say a lot all right

hey, a little poem to mark the occasion. we'll call this WTL (what the luck)...

the last post was 333. made me think about playing the Daily Number, which i've never won or done regularly. i've been trying to remember to buy Powerball tix for the last few weeks. i figure $2 a week for a chance at a few mil isn't too bad a risk. i waste more money on eating out than that in 52 weeks & the end result of those expenditures always turns out to be shit anyway. [CHEESE!]

make like Japanese porn doesn't blur the genitals (WTF!)...

PEACE
...be calm...

if hip-hop is dead...

all y'all motherfuckers can kiss my hairy ass crack...

WTF!

sadly, people have confused the mainstream representatives w/that which is truly representative of the culture. golden era cats & many others that have come along since are still producing, recording, & releasing amazing doses of raw heat oriented material.

gotta say i find it fascinating that when i'm lookin' for some shit to put in my earholes i keep findin' shit that i didn't even know was out. WTF! the same old sad shitty story:

the real shit is still not regularly marketed & promoted...

the good thing is that there are still independent labels puttin' shit out & somebody's making some purchases of these joints. come on man. gotta look for the shit & dig it out...

guess that's why it's called underground hip-hop...

make like Sadat X didn't just drop a new joint...

PEACE
...be calm...

tales of a most hateful hater...

why is there this miserable fat fuck that works at the gig? this swollemite is so miserable that he wished a co-worker to get sunburn bad enough to ruin the person's honeymoon. don't get me wrong, this particular co-worker is not exactly a buddy of mine, but damn cuz...

what an asshole.

i suppose i'm not too much better, 'cause i've wished that dude choked to death on 1 of his stinkin' ass lunches. it's bad enough he's a fat ass, but he's a lazy fuck as well. definitely not a pleasant combo. in fact, he's a punk ass paranoid as well. i can't recall ever being around someone who talks so much shit & acts like a bitch most of the time. only person i've ever seen him try to come at is the fucker who won't shut the fuck up.

i work w/some real cocklicks sometimes...

sheesh...

make like i find my gig to be ultimately life fulfilling...

PEACE
...be calm...

where do elevators hang out?

for some odd reason, my mind occasionally considers such peculiar thoughts...

i got on the 'vator at the gig & forgot to press the button for the my correct floor. i was on the lower level & the 'vator just went to the 1st level. made me think this post's title, as if knowing makes a difference...

speaking of knowing & making a difference, here's an odd thought that occurred to me a couple of days ago:

if everything happens for a reason, but the reason for some things cannot be known, what's the difference between an unknowable reason and no reason at all? there doesn't seem to be much difference from a human perspective. there isn't much point in considering the universal perspective as there are no unknowable reasons to the universe. returning to the human perspective, it's amazing how many different ways humans have tried to explain away the reality of having no idea WTF is really going on in the universe.

i may not particularly like all aspects of the unknown, but i can't say i necessarily fear it. i'm definitely not afraid of death. not afraid of hell, but it's kinda hard to fear that which you do not believe.

make like i'm not tired as fuck right now...

PEACE
...be calm...

maintaining radio silence...

i think my keyboard may be tanking on me...

wearing earplugs seems to be a great way for me to tune shit out. if it's at all possible, i listen too much. i hear damn near everything around me, & i don't seem to be tuning out the irrelevant shit all that well sometimes. i'm the one that can hear the fluorescent lights humming 'n' shit...

irritating...

the worst is being out in public & hearing inane conversations. i try to ignore them, but it doesn't work all that well. tricking my own mind is not something that i'm all that great at doing. i don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but it does seem to have some use if the capability exists...

make like any of my teams made it to the NBA finals...

PEACE
...be calm...

today is the day my mind went away...

not likely...

it would seem to me that my mental issues are at times an impediment to my intellectual abilities. taking 18 years to get an undergrad degree is a great example. i could list some other evidence, but i'll refrain.

the point is i fear my ability to establish my being as a human through the use of my intellect is constantly being diminished by my psychological idiosyncrasies.

i don't relish taking another 20 years or so to get my life together as far as career & living arrangements are concerned. things ain't lookin' so good at the moment. i'm looking at about another 35-40 years as a human. if it continues as it has up 'til now, i'm not too excited about my prospects.

i keep trying to fight what i feel is the bullshit, but i'm either not fighting consistently hard enough, or i'm choosing the wrong shit to fight against. either way, there's some shit somewhere that just ain't quite right. i've considered the fact that i may be being too hard on self, but i don't think that's the case. i don't compare myself to others in relation to what i'd like to achieve as a human. even so, i don't feel i'm meeting my own standards. perhaps i've created some unrealistic expectations...

it's a possibility, but i don't tend to think so.

make like i've got all this shit straight figured the fuck out...

PEACE
...be calm...