where is GOD when you need "it?"

not that anybody reads these things, but i figured i'd address some religious issues today. notice i did not say spiritual, but religious. i am not fond of religion. most especially, i am not fond of Western religions. without referencing specific religious belief systems or their anti-social practices, i'll just get into the whole GOD thing...

what's my beef? well, for starters, the concept itself is so anthropomorphic. [OOO! VOCAB!] many of the espoused attributes of GOD completely contradict the basic concept of being perfect, infinite, and omnipotent. how's that? let's take the whole gender concept. this is hilarious. the suggestion that GOD has a gender at all is horrendous. being a spiritualist i find it utterly laughable. i used to discuss such things with religious types, but they always get frustrated and the conversation becomes frivolous. here is the problem: if GOD is infinite, how can a finite definition be established for GOD? doesn't work. for GOD to have any kind of gender, GOD would have to be finite. easy, right? you'd be amazed at how cats try to explain this one away.

next up is the whole emotional state GOD is supposed to have. GOD is vengeful, vindictive, and jealous? how does that work? what is perfection? emotions are essentially expressions of a flawed or imperfect state of intellect. the above mentioned emotions are anyway. how in the world does it figure that a perfect entity would harbor any type of jealousy, or express even a hint of anger? it doesn't make sense. these are human expressions of imperfection. these expressions occur because of our frustration with our finite and imperfect existence. to attempt to transfer these emotions to an entity conceptualized as perfect and infinite is quite senseless.

one of my greatest beefs with religions in general is that many practitioners believe that their faith has the answers. this is patently contradictory to my belief system which is based on my interaction with the energies of the universe and my experiences as a finite being. i don't claim to have an understanding of the purpose of life or the answer to life's questions, but this is actually the basis of my spiritual path. basically, i believe that humans really don't know shit. this is our scientific and religious motivation. this is especially true of Western/European society. it's all about control. the problem is you cannot control what you don't understand and the entire universe is damn near completely beyond human understanding. humans generally do not like the unknown. so what is the solution? religion and science. two venues of attempted explanation and understanding.

many people are under the impression that science and religion are diametrically opposed. i think that impression is falsely derived. why? pretty much because both approaches to explaining the unknown are based on certain assumed faiths. the only difference is that science does not call its beliefs faith. the faith of science is known as theory. theories are an interesting concept. they don't actually exist and cannot be completely substantiated. if they could, they would no longer be theories. they would be facts. another interesting aspect about theories is that if someone comes along with a better explanation, the old theory can be thrown away like garbage. this is the basis of the science that determines our day to day living. most people would find it very uncomfortable to look at science in this perspective. hmmm? sounds familiar.

if my point is followed at all, this reiterates my comparison of science and religion and their similar functions in assuaging the general human discomfort with the unknown. again, the two are not all that far apart in their approach to explaining things. probably the biggest difference is that at least with science there is some attempt to provide some methodic documentation of the explanation. science asks a little less on the faith side of things than religion does. still though, theories are basically things of faith. believe until proven otherwise. some people approach the concept of GOD this way. i personally don't believe in GOD at all.

i believe in the universe and its energy. i don't understand it, and i'm fine with that. i think that one of humans' biggest mistakes is assuming far too much understanding of things that are not wholely understood. consider that we are the only animal on this planet that completely contradicts the environment which we require to survive. we are the only animal that persistently destroys and abuses the Earth. how intelligent is that? this isn't a Douglas Adams story. it's not like somebody can buy a new planet when this one gets fucked up. humans try to own things that cannot be owned and commodify things that otherwise do not have value. personally, i find it disturbing. most disturbing of all though is that we think we are the most important thing that ever happened in existence. it doesn't quite make sense.

imagine the concept of the entire universe existing simply so that humans have something to observe. how absurd is that? all that to say this: the concept of GOD that most people who do believe in GOD have is based on some very short-sighted and narcissistic perspectives of existence. fortunately, i don't suffer from such issues. i have other issues that i suffer from that i won't get into here...

make like i'm going to hell for this piece...

PEACE

so like um yeah...

whatever yo! the Mavs got that ass whooped. WTF! something stinks in the big D, and it ain't the cattle pies. i actually watched the game. to all you Dallas fans who think the officiating decided the game, the officials weren't missing tre shots left and right at the end of the game. how 'bout those bad passes that led to turnovers? these guys were playing sloppy as hell for a team that was about to end its season. i ain't mad. after the way they lost the 3 in Miami, i was not expecting Dallas to recover. at least they kinda made it a game. it wasn't a blowout. Dirk Nowitzki was channeling Karl Malone. [DOH!] meanwhile, D. Wade seemed to be straight jacking M.J.'s mojo...ta da! instant NBA championship ring. it's good to see vets get jewelry i guess. Mourning, Payton and Walker got hooked up. oh yeah, Kobe is an asshole. just thought i'd put that out there...

on that note, i'ma hobble dobble on outta here...

make like somebody is actually reading this blog...

PEACE

the mystery of life...

i know! i know!

...but i'm not telling. wait, that doesn't make sense. anyway, i do know the mystery of life, but i have no idea what the answer/solution is. this ain't The Matrix, and i'm sure as hell not Neo. speaking of movies, i just peeped King Kong (2005). the effects were truly amazing for the creatures. some of the background effects were terribly noticeable as computerized, but the creatures were off the cheazle. i gotta cop the other 2 Kong movies to see if they had such detail of Kong. i doubt the B&W one does, but the one from the 70's may. the only other thing i wasn't really feeling was the length of the ship scenes. being a Kong fan, i obviously don't like the fact that he died in the end. reminds me of the newer Godzilla that i love and own, that nobody else seemed to dig like that. well then, i guess monsters cannot be led about or held captive w/o their consent. bring a monster to N.Y.C. and watch the monster fuck shit up (as if this could actually happen). okay, i'm sleepy. on that note i'm out. i'm typing straight gibber at the moment.

make like my eyes wanna stay open

PEACE

to read or not to read...

there isn't much of a question there at all. since i have yet to generate any comments, i think it's safe to say few if any eyes peruse these words. in a way that's good. this way if i decide to talk shit about somebody 'cause they pissed me off, they won't know about it. not like it makes a difference either way.

so, Peter Parker revealed his secret identity. WOW! as you can see, i really have a lot going on in my life. i'm just so fucking busy. anyway, i'm actually bored as all hell. my plans for this summer are pretty much tanked until i find a new gig. i hate looking for gigs. i hate being out of work, but i hate the pretentiousness of job searching. i think it's my straightforwardness. i'm not one to bullshit. i try to avoid people who bullshit, but most interviews are bullshitty. think about it. you have an entity (since it could be more than one interviewer) trying to determine the future behavior of an individual on the basis of a few pieces of paper (resume, cover letter, application) and a few minutes of conversation. why is a commonly accepted practice odd to me? well, consider this scenario: all goes well at the interview and the new hire seems to be working out. a few weeks into the honeymoon, employer discovers through no fault of employer that new hire is straight psycho. in fact, new hire just recently went psycho. okay, i admit, this is an extreme and likely highly irrational scenario. but, it could happen. i'm kinda contradicting myself, 'cause that was some serious bullshit...[HA! HA!]

i used to think that things would pretty much work out one day. now i think that day may have already come and gone. now i kinda hope things will just work. as i get older, my depressive states seem to be getting more involved. at least i'm more aware of the why of my state of mind. not that it helps much, but it helps. when i was working, i didn't have time to seek therapy. now that i have the time, i've got no funds with which to pay for services. my wife thinks meds might help me, but i don't think i need them. regular therapy seemed to help me quite a bit. unfortunately, i have not been in about 2.5 years. insurance companies are only too happy to just drug you up.

it's funny that drugs are every where you look on TV and other media outlets, but the legalization of weed is such a taboo. no THC, but everything else is okay. hypocrisy runs amuck in society...

make like the current state of my focus...

PEACE

...so anyway...

if anyone ever tries to tell you that depression is not a disability, smack the shit out of'em. yes, i know violence is not a solution, but neither is ignorance.

i don't even feel like typing. i hate when i get depressed 'cause i don't feel like doing shit. usually, i'm like Mr. Multi-task. when i get depressed i'm like Mr. FTW. i don't even drive properly. that's kinda dangerous. my wife thinks i may have that shit that makes you wanna stay in the damn house all the time. i haven't done my laundry in about a month. it's a good thing it warmed up, 'cause i'm digging in my summer clothes. i've been driving around with my laundry in Needa's trunk for damn near a week. i almost went to the laundromat today. sometimes i just don't feel like doing much of anything.

it's weird. i wake up in the morning feeling like everything is cool. as soon as i wake all the way up, it's like somebody coated my day with bullshit...

anyway, life's a beach and then you drown...or is it get eaten by a shark?

here's a funny story:

today i got a check in the mail from what used to be my vision insurer. i got the check because they reimbursed me for paying out of pocket for new frames/lenses from America's Best. they printed a message on the stub encouraging me to use in-network providers. why is this funny? basically because all i paid for were the frames (after the check). i'm talking $35 a frame. no in-network provider was going to give me 1 let alone 2 frames for this price. did they look at the bill? wow! had i gone to one of their doctor's i would likely have spent close to $100 or more for 1 pair of glasses. plus, America's Best gave me an additional 25% off the final cost of my bill. so i got 25% off plus reimbursed for over 50% of the out-of-pocket expense i did pay.

make like i'm having loads of fun right now...

PEACE

glad am i that i know my way around a pc...

not to gloat or anything, but i just saved myself from PC disasterville yet again. some might say "if you had a Mac you wouldn't even be dealing with that kind of problem." they'd probably be wrong. i don't do normal things w/my computer(s). i do crazy shit like change the permission/security settings so that even i can't access my computer. [DOH!] why did i do such a thing? just fucking around with the settings. the great thing about knowing how to build and repair a PC is being able to put my hands in/on it. you gotta tweak shit sometimes. sometimes tweaks 'cause problems. it's cool. i'll admit i was a little stressed when i re-installed the OS and i was not able to get at either one of my data drives. i have a bad habit of not doing backups. considering how often i futz w/the settings, you would think i would make backups a regular part of my activities with the computer(s). anyway, i got into safe mode was able to readjust the settings to access my drives. [YAAAY!] this is what i call fun with computers.

aight then, gotta go eat some vittleans...

make like my computer after i denied access to the administrator account...

PEACE

only time will tell...

...but unfortunately i don't speak clock.

my youngest said the craziest thing last night. we play this game called What If. basically you make up some crazy ass scenario and ask "what would you do?" so he says "what if a big crackhead came in the house and said 'i'm smoking right now," what would you do?" i almost choked i was laughing so hard. you had to be there, but it was so funny because he doesn't really know what a crackhead is. i asked him once what a crackhead was and he responded that it was someone who drives crazy. his mom didn't understand the answer until i explained that i call people crackheads when they do dumb shit while i'm driving around...i love my kidren...

anyway, if anyone actually reads this blog, you may find i'm making more frequent entries. that is 'cause i am currently woefully underemployed. i hate the whole job search process. there's so much bullshit to it. you fill out the app and they never call you. you go to the interview but you don't get the gig. here's my favorite one: you get the gig and your manager is an a-s-s-h-o-l-e! yup. anyway, capitalism is your friend not mine. i've got to feed my family that's all. i will be accepting donations for the next few weeks...

anyways, i'm bullshitting and i need to stop. i've got to get some hustle flava going.

make like my paycheck this week...

PEACE

would you buy a t-shirt with this image on it...

check this out...

i'm seriously thinking about coming out with a t-shirt with this or an extremely similar image on it...




give me some feedback:

1. would you buy such an item?
2. would you actually proudly sport it?

don't know about you, but i'd proudly do both. hats, t-shirts, mugs, bags, posters...
okay, maybe not posters...

you get the idea. this guy has got to be the dumbest prez in recent history. i didn't like Reagan, but i never thought he was dumb. he was ignorant as hell, but what affluent person is familiar with the less affluent members of society? anyways, this guy Dumbya pisses me off. i tried to vote'em out of office but it didn't work. sour grapes? i think not...

more like idiot intolerance. hey what do you expect, I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE...

think anyone'll come after me for this shit? never know with these paranoid cats..
.
hey let's spy on citizens in case they call Osama...yeah, great idea...[DORKS!]

aight, that's enough...i'm out...

make like Osama actually had any ties with Sadam...

PEACE

it's hard to be a supa produca...

...when you don't have any goddamn equipment. if i were to cry over spilled milk, i'd say "damn, i should have kissed the blinkless wonder's ass and kept my shitty job," but that would be a lie. i only miss the income not the employment. don't worry, i'm not going to start trippin' about asshole managers.

well, i am no longer an undegreed person. i am a Temple graduate. i keep saying that as if it were a magic spell or some shit like that. you know, like if i keep saying it i will somehow be financially stable. [SMILE!] obviously that shit doesn't work that way, but it's nice to know that i actually owe the gubment money for something besides writing papers and getting drunk on the weekends.

oddly, i did not end up actually walking because the ceremony was too goddamn long. had some logistical problem with my family and my offspring were hungry as sheazle, so we had to be out. as history would have it, there are no photos anywhere in my possession of me ever receiving any educational documentation at a graduation ceremony. but guess what...i don't give a split shit goddamn. [lot's of cursing today huh?] you know why?

'cause I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE! I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE! YES I AM, I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE!

okay, i'm buggin' out. i was supposed to have a party, but i'm broke. hey, who else was supposed to bankroll the shindig? anyway, maybe i'll have one this summer. that'd be nice, but it's not looking too good at the moment.

speaking of not looking too good, Needa is fucking falling to pieces on me. i'm kinda pissed but not. i'm more irritated 'cause this shit is happening when i don't have the cizash to get the shit fixed. the key broke in the trunk lock. the driver's side seat came off the track (the mechanic said i need a bus). the speed sensor is malfunctioning. today i hit a fucking tree. backed right into it i did. i don't think i hit it hard enough to fuck the car up, but still that's not too good.

anyway, that's about enough for today. for the individuals who do read this expression of deeper thought [SMILE!], i've made some adjustment so you can comment w/o having to register w/the site. i got an email couple of months ago about it and never read it. i was kinda busy with full-time school, full-time work, and part-time sleep. so, have at it, but don't do anything stupid. if you read this at all, you should know by now i have a low tolerance for stupidity.

make like Barry Bonds never, ever, ever used any performance enhancing substances...

PEACE

well goddamn!

yep, i finally did it. it took 18 fucking years, but i finally gragiated from undergragiate school. say something smart and i'll beat ya ass w/my degree. [WHAT!] but seriously, i got my shit after many trials and tribulations. my moms & pops can eat a collective dick for the utter lack of support i received from them. that goes from not making any type of financial commitment to my early years to providing little or no emotional support to me throughout my entire life. thanks assholes. anyway, on to the positive...

did i say i graduated today?

yeah buddy!

aight, i'm 'bout to celebrate. looks like i'll be celebrating by my solo, but fuck it. i've got my bachelor's to keep me company.

on that note i'd like to thank my supportive family members for attending my ceremony today. not that anyone reads this or might even know what the hell i'm talking about, but whatever.

make like i have classes next week...

PEACE