i've been on this planet for damn near 2 score. i can't say i've enjoyed most of my time here. i'm not blaming anyone. for at least half of this time, i've been solely responsible for the consequences of my potentially erroneous decisions. add to those my clearly erroneous decisions, and you've got quite a collection of shitty circumstances.
currently, i find myself in yet another employment situation that i truly cannot stand. it's usually difficult enough to find a gig, but now there's the wonderful collapse of the capitalist economy to contend with as well.
my inner battles w/what most would call demons are not at all helpful. since i don't believe in demons per se, i'll refer to these negative character traits as my manifestations of human finitude. my efforts to embrace my universal essence do not seem to occur with enough reasonably regular frequency.
short version says i'm mostly frustrated as hell w/many of the things that i have to deal w/on a daily basis. sadly, i do not seem to be able to consistently power through my own doubt in order to build a rewarding level of success from the trail of failures.
i can say that i more regularly try to console myself w/the knowledge that i will never achieve much of anything if i just quit. sometimes it's hard to understand the significance of an action that has yet to be, or thought that has yet to formulate.
even if the shit never gets better, i owe it to me to keep pushing forward. why stand in seemingly endless piles of shit when there is even the remotest possibility of one day being free of strife?
make like i'm going to be enjoying the born day...
PEACE
...be calm...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
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