Sappy New Year!

no, just kidding. happy new year. this is likely one of the only holidays that i continue to celebrate. although the calendar under which we operate is a European convention, i follow the annual celebration to mark another year of human existence. i won't get into my thoughts on the universal irrelevancies of time. humans are truly the oddest animal known to exist on this planet. such a disregard for nature exists within human social convention.

anyway, since my system is being lazily reconfigured, i've had to make far fewer entries than i would have liked. i've actually not really felt like typing a few times when i started but didn't finish entries. there were also some occasions where the PC did some dumb shit and i lost entire entries. usually when that happens i don't feel like retyping my thoughts. this is especially true for the more verbose entries. [when are they not verbose? blah...blah...blah...]

well, the '07 is coming. i've got to get my shit together. i'm finally finished with undergrad, but i still feel like i haven't accomplished much. so what are my goals for the coming year? music, music, music. i've got to get my music on. between that and getting my finances more ordered, i'm pretty sealed on what i'm trying to do. gotta get my Allen & Heath and a piano. i'm supposed to be teaching myself how to use my keyboard and music theory. this music is what i'm doing. i definitely need to get into the studio more in '07 as well. speaking of which, gotta contact some cats about that...

on that note, get yo' shit together in '07 too...

make like Saddam had a chance...damn!

PEACE

ours is not a pleasant world...

call me the greater hater or whatever. a co-worker of mine made some references that i clearly do not share to the greatness of living in the U.S. of A. yes this country seems great, but that is only because the rest of the world in many cases is that much more fucked up. sure, there is the half empty, half full concept, but it really is not applicable here. consider the number of multi-national businesses that either operate out of or primarily function on the basis of the U.S. economy. it is highly likely that these companies operate on global scales in order to take advantage of the weaker economies, labor laws and trade arrangements of other countries. if you ever get a chance to check out the Wal-Mart documentary, it presents a one-sided but interesting look at how these companies exploit the most valuable resource available to business: the human. the reality is that capitalism functions in such a way as to fully exhaust the available resources for maximum profit gain. this means all resources, including humans. people always talk about natural resources and how they are abused, but you rarely hear about the abuse of human resources unless it is within the context of sweatshops, etc.

what would make me rant about such things at this wonderful time of the year? this wonderful time of the year. what the hell? how can it be so wonderful? can you say Iraq? can you say George W. Bush is a professionally trained idiot? the wool has been pulled so freakin' far over so many people's eyes at one time that people are now shitting sweaters and suits straight out of their asses and ears. how is it that people can give to Toys for Tots for the Christmas holiday, but the very same people that benefit from such programs suffer any other time of the year? what a crock of shit. this is the most financially affluent country in the world, but there are still homeless people, poor people, illiterate people, and starving people. how the fuck does that work? i laugh at the people who use lame ass stereotypes to brush away these blatant contradictions to the greatness of this country. manifest destiny continues to shit on the little people.

sadly, the political process is functional. i say sadly because the people who ought to benefit most from the process either do not or cannot use it to their utmost advantage. i am not a conspiracy theorist. i do not think it is a coincidence or mystery that less affluent sections of society do not participate in the political process. consider that participation in said process has certain requirements. for the sake of the current proposition, let us completely disregard the financial requirements. lets look at something as simple as educational level. many less affluent members of society have limited educational background. the reasons vary and some are self-inflicted. the point is how can you educate yourself on the political climate when you have not educated yourself? there also has to be the consideration of the educated apathetics. these people remind me of myself when i wasted away a full scholarship to college: stupid. much like i am literally paying for that mistake many years later [goddamn these loans], these people pay a high price for political inactivity.

shit, there are entire religious belief systems that encourage their members to not be involved in the political process. that is utterly insane. first of all, how can you pay taxes and not have a concern for who is spending that money, and how it is being spent. that is some crazy ass shit. of course this is all my opinion, but it is not opinion based on conjecture or assumption. these are opinions based on years of study and observation. my basic point is that shit is not okay. there should be far more concern than what currently exists. i think there should have been a revolution by now, but people are so dumbified by the crumbs that we get that it has not happened yet. i think those in power have studied and learned a great deal from the major social upheavals throughout the last 3 or 4 centuries. most significantly the French and European American Revolutions. just imagine if the economically disadvantaged members of the global society decided to rise up and demand a more equitable distribution of global resources. yes, there would likely be a great deal of bloodshed, but it would be worth it in the end. the fear of the unknown and feigned stability have kept many people from making such assessments of the world today. i tend to see a bigger picture...

make like i should be celebrating a European holiday...

PEACE

still working on the new system...

okay, this computer i'm using sucks biznalls. i just typed 2 sentences and was working on a 3rd and this slow ass thing became unresponsive. as a result, i made that cardinal error of clicking more than 1 time to get a response. damn thing highlighted all my text and erased it. bastard! anyway, it's been real slow these last few weeks. i don't seem to be able to quite get myself together. i am getting way too big, but i won't go outside. i'm turning into a fatass 'cause i don't exercise anymore. i know i'm doing it, but i won't stop myself. all i do is sleep and eat and futz w/the PC(s). there is work, but all i do at work is sit on my fat ass and watch cameras for 10 hours a shift. that's not gonna lose me any weight at all. i'm getting so friggin' big i'm not enjoying eating that much. went to the buffet for breakfast and didn't even enjoy it.

i gotta snap outta this shit. seems like i took my nose dive in '98 and tried to off myself, i ain't been quite right. don't know if i ever will be. can't quit though. gotta keep tryin' to get my shit together...

make like T.O. isn't an asshole...

PEACE

m to the i friggin' a

life is fucking grand. i am comfortably intoxicated at this point in time. one of the great things about being under the influence is the utter sense of relaxation. i don't drink often, but i appreciate the ability to have this state of mind. unfortunately, it is in my nature to be somewhat uptight. i do not seem to have an innate ability to relax. this is very unfortunate. it may explain why i sometimes find it difficult to sleep. i can be somewhat uptight. my wife complains about it and i must agree. oddly, she could stand to be somewhat more uptight. anyways, life is what it is, but how one interprets circumstances makes a big difference. being uptight can skew ones interpretation. long story short, i just get rather irritated about stupid shit sometimes.

anyways, i have not been posting very often over the last few weeks. between my PC being down and me working, i haven't been making many posts. that may change since i've finally finished putting together my BEAST PC. now i've got to install all the pertinent software. on that note....

make like T.O. has any goddamn sense at all...

PEACE

chronic lack of motivation...

that should be my new name. either that or captain procrastinator. anyways, i'm still pursuing my audio production goals. rather slowly and non-deliberately probably, but pursuing nonetheless. i have not felt like posting anything lately. been too tired. besides, to revisit an old theme, it's not like anyone responds to these posts. perhaps if there were some actual dialogue developing from this, i might post more. anyways, nothing clever today. just felt the need to post something...

just so no one knows...

blah. blah. blah. yackity smackity.

smizzle fizzle dazzle dizzle. alflam kiz miz filal cablippy. shiggle ding flang go fongle.

if i actually talked like that, maybe my life would be more interesting. doubtful.

no loan. no car. gotta save up to replace Needa. asked my wife if she wants to sell or fix Needa, but she hasn't gotten back to me yet.

i'm fucking pissed off. end of story.

act like i give a shit...

PEACE

more work = less posts...

that's pretty self explanatory.

looks like i might not be as assed out as i thought in the whip department. i always said i didn't want a note, but if i try to wait until i save enough to get a more reliable vehicle, i'll have to rely on Crepta to get to the gig in the suburbs. i'm not really feeling that shit. there is actually a bus that stops near the gig, but that turns my 40m commute into a 150m commute. big difference considering sleep, family and life activity arrangements. i actually like riding public transportation (PT), but when it's time to grocery shop or get to locations outside the city proper, PT just doesn't get it done consistently. anyway, i've got a couple of lines on some vehicles and i actually got pre-approved for from my preferred financial institution. i just have to find something within the budget and keep the note under $150. that's the goal. now i've got 30 days to find a ride and make sure it's safe. that's not an easy task, but it's good to know i've got the option...

make like i ain't gettin' ridda Needa...

PEACE

Ineeda...

new motherfuckin' car.

nuff said. well not really, but the fucking engine has a bad cylinder with fucking oil in it. isn't that just the shit? and how about i didn't find this out until after i bought new tires ($200) and got a tune-up & oil change ($225). ain't that some hot shit? $425 later and i find out this piece of shit car has finally given up on me. oh well, WTF can i do? i could spend another $950+ to get a used engine installed! [FUCKING YAAY!] am i going to do that nut ass shit? of course not. i'm going to sell Needa as is and try to get what cash i can out of her ass. unfortunately, i don't have enough saved up yet to get another joint and use Needa as a trade. sucks to be my ride.

speaking of sucks i gotta start paying off my school debt soon. i found out i owe $300+ in monthly installments for the next 15-20 years. [HOLYSHITWOW!] good to see someone will be experiencing some financial gain from my recent status change to college graduate. too bad it ain't me yet...

ah well, at least the Steelers won the Super Bowl last season. of course, that has nothing to do with this season. [SHEESH!] i had to drop Rothlisberger from my fantasy squad on Yahoo! ah well, guess i can't monopolize taking an 'L.' too bad i don't get paid for mine like they've been. imagine that: professional athletes not getting paid when they lose games. sounds too much like right...

make like my car isn't shitting all over me...

PEACE

#1 reason to have steady income...

so you can buy a fucking house.

i'm tired of renting. i applied for a mortgage w/my local financial service provider. doesn't look good though. my savings isn't like that yet, and my employment history isn't the most loan friendly. anyways, i tried this a coupla years ago, but i had an asshole landlord who managed to fuck that shit up. this is some extremely important shit. basically i wanna build a studio in my crib. key part to that fucking sentence is MY. i don't wanna be moving equipment around and i don't wanna have to keep getting permission to make alterations to my domicile. not really a difficult decision: gotta get my own crizzle.

i'm not a materialistic type, but i would like to own properties. notice the 's.' that's not an accident. my problem is my late ass start at getting my fucking life to be some type of productive. at least that's one of my problems anyway. probably more significant is the inordinate ratio of lint to cash in my pockets. it's rather difficult to manage your debts using lint...

make like i'm just a rich fucker...

PEACE

eye yam tire add shhh eat!

did a 12 at the new gig and then came home and got new tires put on Needa the $ eata. almost fucked up my rim trying to drive to the garage on the shitty flat tire. i thought i could make it, but it pulled off of the rim as i was turning onto the garage's street (about 5 blocks from the actual garage mind you). had to make an emer ringo 2 da cribo for the wifo to bring me a tiro. fortunately, when my old fronts balded to the wire, i kept 1 on it's original rim. had to bust that one on the ride to finish my trip to the garage.

thought i was gonna get some rest, but the wife shitted on me and went to a meeting instead. YAAAY! oh well, at least Needa's tires got fixed. she needs a friggin' tune-up now. sheesh. oh well, looks like i have to find some kind of way to occupy myself without falling asleep on the kids...

make like i'm so interested in all the T. O. stories this week...

PEACE

i'm getting fat and i don't like it...

ever since i turned the big tre nada, my metabolism has been making up for all those years of Captain Skinny Dude! up 'til now, i've been pretty comfortable with my new found ability to keep my weight above 200lbs. now my shit is getting out of hand. my fucking clothes are uncomfortable. it's mostly my pants. in fact, it's primarily my pants. i do need to cop some slightly bigger dress shirts, but my pants are on some other shit. worst things is, it isn't my waist. my waist is essentially still the same size. my goddamn gut is on a mission. i friggin' look like i swallowed Needa's donut spare.

the problem is that i've become extremely sedentary over the past 8 years. there was a time when i used to ride my mountain bike all over the city. now i spend my time flattening my office chair and breaking the driver's seat from my ass being to damn big. i used to be pretty good at motivating myself to do push ups and crunches in addition to riding my bizell. i'm like Captain Lazy Fuck nowadays. i gotta snap outta this shit.

part of the problem is my depressive states, but i refuse to use that as an excuse. i'm just mad fuckin' lazy nowadays. gotta get my shizzle ta gizzle.

make way for the fat man...

make like the Titans are not Haynesworthless...

PEACE

well now...the M.I.A. post

been missing for a few days, as if anyone noticed. anyways, as i write this i'm listening to some select hits from the album releases of one of my fave, if not all time fave funk bands: Funkadelic. goddamn. it's hard for me to love this shit and have grown up listening to it and then try to listen to shit that comes on the radio today. it could be purely nostalgia, but most music i hear today does not move me like this at all. the worst part to me is these cats were often high as shit and made some of the most emotionally appealing music i've heard so far in my life. i'm not one to ascribe to the idea of gettin' on to be more creative, but i guess it worked for these cats.

all i have to say is Maggot Brain.

make like T.O. actually had an allergic reaction...

PEACE

1 is the lonliest number...

my son asked my wife today/yesterday if the above is true. i'm not sure if he knows this is just the line from a pop song or not. he knows the song's hook, but i'm not sure if he realizes it is pretty much a hook more so than a truism.

songs like that used to make me cry when i was a kid. i guess that was part of my depression. that could be a stretch. maybe i was just an emotional kid. i honestly don't know. either way, i remember certain songs used to make me bawl when i was a young buck. shit, now i hardly cry at all. oddly, sometimes when i listen to a golden era banger, i can tear up, but that is still a rare occasion. also, it isn't for quite the same reasons. hip hop is like blah blah now, so sometimes when i hear a classic jam, it reminds me that shit will not likely ever be that dope again. imagine going from It Takes A Nation Of Millions to The Massacre. WTF! that's not a smooth transition at all. i'm not a Pac fan but i have more respect for that bo' than Curtis. blah, blah, blah.

anyways, back to 1 being lonely. fuck, i don't know if that is true or not. why isn't 0 the lonliest? at least 1 is 1. 0 is nothing. what could possibly be lonlier than 0? it's not like you can have less than 0 friends/associates/aquaintences. so maybe 0 is the lonliest number.

make like i didn't just try to kill my sinus headache w/5 shots...

PEACE

don't ask why, just live life...

this may come off as overly dramatic, but my life often irritates me. i've done some reading on depression that suggests depression can cause such views. technically, your circumstances in life are neither good nor bad. it's all up to the individual's perception of the events. that sounds pretty hot from a universal standpoint, but it doesn't explain some of the dumb shit that i've had to deal with in my life. i'll be the 1st to say that much if not all of the dumb shit stems from some bullshit decision that i've made, but there are still those circumstances that no one has any control over. i've been known to remark that if i believed in luck, i'd have to say i have bad luck. problem is, i don't believe in luck. funny thing is, i'd still have to say i have bad luck. [ba-dum-dum! tsss!]

for example, my car. it fucked up on me on Tuesday. i did buy it. that would be the bad decision. i also got the trannie rebuilt instead of copping a different ride. that could be considered another bad decision. thing is though, you can't spend life looking back trying to figure out which decisions were not the best. it's good to not repeat mistakes, but you can't sit around playing what if. that shit is a great time waster. needless to say, when shit is fucked up, i still tend to do it.

another example is my wife. without going into details, she fits the bill of another in the line of crazy women that i've introduced into my life. you've got to wonder what is wrong when a person does the same shit over and over even if you express some disliking of said behavior. WTF! specifically, financial shit. again without going into detail, with her, it's the same shit over and over again. she does not like to be financially responsible in such a way as to not cause problems for the family as a whole. basically, she'd buy some shoes before she bought us some food. ask her why and she'd be like, "i felt like it." again, WTF! apparently, this is the fucking theme for everyone but me. not WTF, but "i felt like it."

it must be fun to just do whatever the fuck you feel like doing. the best part is, when you get busted doing something you know you aren't supposed to do, just nonchalantly act like whatever. that must be some cool ass shit. not that i would know. shit, every time i even tip-toe near irresponsibility, it bites a fucking chunk outta my ass. that's why i don't rob banks or sell drugs. i don't want to go to prison. most cats don't think about shit like that. they're like "i felt like it." boom! go rob that bank or sell those drugs. anyways, that's my rant for today.

make like my fucking sinuses aren't bothering me...

PEACE

Needa-ventures III: my car may hate me...

so i'm rolling down Ridge Pike this morning and Needa (with the brand stank new battery and recently replace alternator) just dies on me. nevermind i need car to get to work or anything like that. i'm more pissed off that i just finished a nice 10 hour shift and i'm stuck with the car's ass hangin' out into the freakin' highway. i tried to pull off the road, but i just happened to be going uphill and the only lot i could get too was even further uphill...yaaay!

now Needa's stuck in whatever town that is in the parking lot of an appliance store. i asked the store if it was okay if Needa sits there until i can get'er towed to a garage. the guy said someone would call me back and let me know, but i haven't heard from anyone yet. talk about massive suckolean.

hopefully i'll be able to use my bike and SUCKTA to get to the gig until i can get my pile of high velocity maintence on wheels to the shop. did i mention my mechanic is on vacation until next Tuesday? more suckolean.

fuckin' a man! just thought i'd put that in there...

make like my car is not a pain in the ass...

PEACE

is the Bush administration a friggin' joke?

you'd probably expect a rant from this title, but it's not coming. just a question or two on the 5th anniversary of the WTC destruction.

why in the hell has there not been even the remotest success at catching Osama? WTF! is this guy invisible or is it that the shit Michael Moore presented in his overly sarcastic documentary has some truth to it? how can you be the most powerful government in the "free" world and not be able to catch your #1 enemy? WTF! talk about military ineptitude. i feel sorry for all the families who have lost members because Bush thought Iraq had anything at all to do with 9/11. this president has been great for comedy, but it's not funny when you consider the cost of life this "war on terrorism" has caused. i thought the war on drugs was a joke.

i remember when the war on terrorism was first proposed. i thought it was assinine then and my opinion hasn't changed much over the last few years. seems more like it was a bullshit idea to distract the citizens of this country from the economic mismanagement being practiced by the Bush administration. it was like "oh shit, we're kinda fucking up. let's start a war so we can distract everyone."

throw in a few tax breaks for the already established upper middle class and boom. you'd probably think i was a Democrat or something, but i think both parties suck governmental ass. seems like Republicans suck a little harder sometimes, but most politicians respond to the same general stimuli: the interests of capitalism and corporate exapansion. the global economy is still benefiting the same general parties that it has for hundreds of years.

i'm beginning to think 9/11 was some kind of necessary sacrifice of U.S. citizens for the benefit of some of the multi-national corporations. who is benefiting from the continuation of the war in Iraq? certainly not the armed forces or the Iraqis. and Afghanistan is fucked up but you won't hear about that in any major media arenas. Opium production is supposed to be up since the U.S. backed government took over. guess the war on terrorism trumps the war on drugs.

so, to answer my rhetorical question from above, hell yeah! this has got to be the worst overall government since i've been alive. even Nixon with his scandal ridden administration was not this bad. W. is an idiot. they fooled the hell out of whoever voted for him in the southern states. who knows what's going to happen in the next few elections. ask me and i'll say there needs to be a new movement for change made up of the working stiffs. that's whose getting jerked.

make like i love the good old U.S. of A.

PEACE

how you know you're broke...

when you start washing your ass w/the little bars of soap from hospitals/hotels. i actually ran out of soap. i have never had that happen in my entire life. if it happened before, i don't remember it.

it's hard to balance a budget when your income is significantly insignificant. i just found out last week that my wife embezzled $80 from our monthly income to replace something she had no business disappearing. not only did she disappear it, but she did not use the $80 to replace it. ain't that so sweet?

gotta stop ordering pizzas and going to the buffet'n'shit. i tend to use such activities as a means of coping with depression. problem is if i'm broke and can't buy enough vittles or pay bills in a timely fashion, i just get more depressed. that just doesn't work...

make like the Eagles won against a great team this afternoon...

PEACE

ouch dem teef hurt...

i guess since hip hop sampled music for so long, it became acceptable to start sampling names and shit too. i already knew C. Jackson "borrowed" his name from someone else, but i had no idea who until a few minutes ago. this idiot straight jacked his name from a known killer. how original. i suppose he's no worse the C. Wallace though. i didn't realize he jacked his name from one of my favorite '70's flicks until i copped the DVD and heard the name Biggie Smalls. talk about an "oh shit!" moment. i was disappointed. that would explain the whole Charlie Baltimore thing...

anyway, i always hated when i heard or met someone who had the same or a similar pseudonym as one of mine. i suppose that's why i have so many, but then i'm not making any $ doing this shit am i? [TOUCHE!] not that it's about money for me, but nobody really gives a fuck about my $.02 when that's about all have in my pocket. [SMILE!] it seems pretty sad that it became ok to bite. not to be all nostalgic and shit, but it's so damn blatant nowadays. cats don't bother to research or they do but have no pride for creativity. fuck that. i don't want to have anyone else's name. i don't care what the represented.

i'm gonna make my new name a character from Star Wars. yeah. now which one will it be? i gotta think...blpht! i wish i would. anyways, it's far more fun to make shit up. i like being creative. on that note, i'm creatin' my ass outta here.

make like i knew not to play Rothlisberger on my fantasy squad...

PEACE

Needa-ventures II

awww, shit! just when i actually need the vehicle to get to the new gig...the vehicle starts to act straight stizzupid. dunno what's wrong, but the trannie's acting up again. i get in the car one day when it's raining pretty good and when i back up, a puddle falls from the roof into the passenger seat. [YAAAY!] yesterday i decide to try to listen to the radio and it starts cutting in and out. i figured out that it cuts out whenever i accelerate/mash the gas pedal. WTF! so i take the ride to my car stereo spot and they don't seem to be able to fix it. WTF! talk about shitty timing. story of my life. i just got the thing inspected and everything and it's acting like it's gonna shit all over me. fucking car. it wouldn't be so irritating if i could just trade this one in and get something more reliable. i don't have an interest in a new ride, i just want one that functions with minimal maintenance.

oh well, it's like i tell my young ones, you rarely get what you want in life. gotta figure something out so i don't get jammed for transport. can't get to the gig w/o a ride. PT doesn't travel to my job loc.

speaking of loc. i IM my sister last night and tell her to call me. does she call? of course not. she is so pressed to talk to me, yet she makes no effort whatsoever to initiate contact. again i say WTF!

make like violence is the answer...

PEACE

nurture v. nature

i am a solitary type person. i can't quite be sure if i am solitary because of my personality, or if my personality is what it is because of how i grew up. at my age you wouldn't think it would be a consideration at all, but it is. i can work with others in groups quite well, but i am easily frustrated by the stupidity of others. my wife says i'm snobby. i don't know, maybe i am. either way, most people get on my goddamn nerves with their inability to look past the obvious. i suppose i could be more tolerant, but i'm not.

so basically, i can be an asshole sometimes. unfortunately, i think i am a good asshole. why is that unfortunate? basically because i'm not actively trying to curb my assholiness. maybe that isn't a bad thing. my point? i guess that'd be that most people get on my goddamn nerves. [a little repetitive huh?] it's weird, 'cause part of me likes to socialize and interact with other people on a regular basis. problem is i don't seem to be able to find too many people who are willing and able to do so. i don't mean that as a cliche either. seems like people who may be willing to hang out are not people i necessarily would like to spend any significant time around. others just don't appear to share similar interests, but they're always available.

maybe i'm not the only one who is fucked up like this. i don't know. i can only speak for myself, and i spend most of my time speaking to myself. lately i've come to theorize that it has a great deal to do with my prison style social life as directed by warden Mom. it's gotten to the point now where i don't even want to go out of my house unless i absolutely have to do so. sometimes i don't even go outside when i have to go out. i just can't stand to be around other people sometimes. things that most people are easily able to ignore are extremely frustrating to me.

littering is a great example. if it were up to me littering would be punishable by death. i don't mean you accidentally drop a napkin while eating a hot dog or whatever from a street vendor. i mean like opening the window while driving down the street and tossing your half empty bag of fast food into the street. WTF! i hate that shit, but it happens very frequently. apparently, most other people in the city don't give much of a fuck about litter, or there wouldn't be so fucking much of it.

am i ramming? probably. but this is a great example of what i mean about not wanting to be around other people. i know i'm throwed, but i don't think it's too unreasonable to put trash in a trash can or whatever. the fact that few seem to share that sentiment is what signals to me that i just don't fucking fit. so what does that mean? it means i don't fit. story of my life.

make like i'm not disturbed...

PEACE

i build computers...

ever since i was a kid, i loved making things. if asked to recall some of my favorite toys, they would be things like Legos, Tinkertoys, Lincoln Logs, etc. i still like all of the above. i don't play with them now, but i would if they were handy. my young'ns have Legos, but i don't play with them much. nowadays, i put together PC systems. its supposed to be a business, but most people tend to not care what goes into the box. this apathy results in purchases from companies that seem like they're giving you a great deal, but usually you're buying instant obsolescence.

i know what i'm putting in my systems and it's still almost impossible to not have a system become virtually obsolete in 6 months to a year. i bought parts in February for a complete system that i still have yet to fully assemble, and it has already become component obsolete. about a month or 2 ago, AMD released a new CPU with essentially similar features to the CPU that was current in February. the significant difference for me is the new CPU uses DDR2 RAM. this newer RAM is a better fit for the needs of AMD's dual-core CPU's. needless to say, i am getting one of these new CPU's. i said i was going to wait until the prices on the dual-core CPU that i wanted came down, not realizing that a completely newer design was soon to be released. the dual-core CPU's of the newer design are about half of what the other design's were in February/March.

this is the shit that most people could give a fuck about, but this is the shit that makes your PC worth what you pay for it or not...

aaahhh, the life of a technical mind...yes, it is quite boring most of the time...[insert hideous laugh here.]

make like my HDTV ain't busted...

PEACE

Needa-ventures...

so, it appears there may not have been something wrong with the battery, but i can't be sure. it is possible that i left on the lights the last parked. it is also possible that i turned them on last weekend when i tried to start the car and realized the battery was dead again. either way, the mechanic suggested i replace the old battery any way. oddly, the old battery was a marine battery. don't know how much of a difference that makes, but the car is now running off of an Energizer battery. i almost fucked up the new battery by hooking up the cables to the wrong terminals. fortunately, i quickly removed the cables upon commencement of sizzling...

anyways, it's good to be having employment and not unemployment. hopefully i can keep Needa w/o gouging my pockets any further. on that note...

make like T.O. has any sense at all...

PEACE

whooo! hoooo!

got a new gig. training appears to be starting on Monday. odd thing: i got this gig because of the experience at my last gig. never thought that would be a factor considering neither gig has anything remotely to do with my actual career aspirations. fortunately, the rate is about the same, so i can hopefully get back on track with building my home studio. this was probably one of the most depressing summers i've had in years. mostly due to not having any freakin' income. hopefully this gig will not subject me to dorkface killer management and will lead to some yearssssss of employment. [notice the emphasis on the 'sssssss']

typical as it is, Needa is acting up. gotta get a battery tomorrow. at least i hope that's all that's wrong. went to start the car last Saturday and the lights 'n' shit weren't working again. can't say i wasn't warned. i just thought i'd have a little more juice in the battery than i actually did. i may need to get a new ride. i'm trying not to get one though. i'm hoping i can just cop another same year model of Needa and swap some parts to keep her going. gotta find one local that's damn near junked w/o being totalled.

anyway, it's great to know i won't be collecting unemployment until that shit runs out...

now to get some savings going so we can cop a permanent residence somewhere...

O-U-T...

make like i don't have to be at work Monday night...

PEACE

i am extremely bored...

don't think that requires any further explanation.

my plants have developed some condition resulting in a total unresponsiveness to light and the occasional watering that they used to get. i'm rather disturbed as i have no idea what the hell happened. perhaps one of the children put too much water in them. i don't know. i do know that when over-watered, they will die. i know because i killed one many years ago when i first began growing them. anyway, i tried not watering them, and that didn't seem to help at all. it seems since the heatwave a few weeks ago, they have been quite unresponsive. i would be rather disappointed if they die. i replanted one last year because it grew to big for its pot and had also spawned a new plant. by the time i replanted it, it had spawned a second new plant that i left in the pot because it was so small. i didn't want to separate the plant and damage the roots while it was that small, so i figured i'd let it grow some. also, i had wanted to be sure that the replant went well and the plants didn't die. everything was going great until about 2 weeks ago. it really sucks actually. there are now 4 plants instead of 1, but the 2 larger plants are drooping and looking rather sickly. not very uplifting for the current mood i must say.

well, that's enough of that. since i forced myself to type this, i'm out...

make like i hate NFL football...

PEACE

there is hope yet...

well, i got a fluke call off of my resume from Monster.com. perhaps i shouldn't call it a fluke, but i usually don't get tons of action off of my resumes that i post on the web. this is only the 2nd time since 1998 that i've gotten a legitimate offer from a web resume. i've got at least 3 on the web at 3 different sites, but i don't scan through too much email as a result of having them posted...

anyways, it'd be nice to get back to the world of the employed so that i can continue to pursue my career goal of establishing my own business. seems odd to need to be employed to do such a thing, but i've got to have income to invest in my ideas. i'm not too keen on borrowing money from anyone, least of all a financial institution. i currently owe the feds about $30,000 +interest for the last 2.5 years worth of college at good ol' Temple University.

speaking of TU, i still can't get any gear to fit me that shows any type of school pride. i get a call from Russell Athletic the other day telling me to contact a rep from their big & tall line. i get all hyped like i'm finally going to get some TU gear and the guy tells me "Temple is not a popular school." as a result of Temple's lack of notoriety, i cannot purchase anything from Russell that is larger than a 2X. well, that's utterly useless info for me. i need somebody to explain why i can't get a football jersey, a basketball jersey, a pair of basketball shorts, or even a goddamn field hockey jersey. all i want is some Temple gear. i guess this is what i get for not being a Temple athlete.

people think it's so wonderful being tall. if you're not independently wealthy or some kind of athlete, it's a regular pain in the ass. about the only thing my height provides is the ability to see on top of refrigerators and to mildly to severely intimidate shorter people who tend to adhere to stereotypical views on larger people. otherwise, i'm just a tall dude who can't dry his drawers 'cause they shrink in the dryer...

on that note, i'm all plamed out like sallawumped kefiddledonk...

make like i hate food and my fridge is full...

PEACE

ba-boom, ba-bing...

right, so my wife sabotaged me yet again. my family seems to have an uncanny knack at finding ways to sabotage my endeavors. wouldn't that be sick if it were actually true? i'd be more willing to say it's a confluence of circumstances. anyways, that's what i get for being married to a crazy lady. i've heard it said you tend to be drawn to mates that are reminders of your parent of that gender. not to sure of the psychological validity of such an idea, but i'd say i've done pretty damn good at keeping up with it. even if only on an anecdotal basis, i've been involved with nothing less than train wreck mental women in my life so far. this includes relationships as well as flings. of course, it could also be a birds of a feather type scenario.

i'd be the last person, even if i was the only person alive, to suggest that i am even remotely emotionally settled, let alone stable. i take comfort in the fact that i am completely aware of my mental state. my lunatic mother always told me it is the people who don't admit their issues that are put away and are really lunatics. she's apparently the one that the professionals somehow missed. my bad huh? i've been surrounded by crazies my entire life. my mother, my father, my mother's brothers and sisters, my father's sisters, you get the idea. my sister has now officially been recognized as one of the crazies related to me. that is my younger sister. i'm supposed to have an older sister, but i only know her first name prior to her being adopted. there are 2 problems with this information:

1. i don't know if her first name changed, or her surname for that matter
2. my mother is damn near a pathological liar, so i may not even have an older sister

i guess #2 is the more important of the problems to consider. just on the possibility that she actually exists, she's 3 years older than me and hopefully she escaped the crazy family syndrome. unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, i would have no way of finding out. i've always wanted to meet her, but she may have an actually pleasant and stable life. very few of my other known family members live in such a state. some of them are far more functional than others, but they've all got some serious issues.

i like to think of myself as functionally dysfunctional. i'm fucked up enough to have problems, but i'm not fucked up enough to be on SSI. that's a good thing mind you. i had one of my nut ass aunts (on the mom side of course) suggest that i go ahead and file for disability for my depression. she made it sound like it would be a vacation or some shit. amazing! that's just how nutty my family is. i think now that i didn't have a chance to be relatively stable at all (no pun intended). i actually did have to go on temporary disability for this shit, but it was as far from a vacation as i can possibly figure. maybe it was because i didn't file for SSI, but it was basically like being on welfare. in fact, that's exactly what it was. i had to keep getting paperwork signed by the medical staff where i was getting therapy, or my physician. i couldn't work and i didn't have a choice of not getting cash benefits. i got off because that shit drove me more crazy than what i already am. i need the therapy, but not at the expense of being able to live my life. it's kind of a sick catch-22. i need therapy to function more effectively, but i can't get it unless i'm effectively dysfunctional. some might think that having medical insurance would help, but for the kind of therapy i need, insurance does not pay for therapy of such an extensive frequency. i'm only talking like once a week, but even the best insurance in the region doesn't cover mental health expenses like that. so...

my wife is crazy and i picked her out of all the crazies i know, so it's my fault huh? i still love her, she just gets on my goddamn nerves sometimes.

make like Mel Gibson is the new ambassador to Israel...

PEACE

and so the drama continues...

not actually, but it's officially a year's worth of wordified nothingness. maybe one day someone will actually read some of this shit on a regular basis. who knows. anyway, it's hot as hog balls in my office. i need a friggin' AC in this joint. there's 1 window, and it draws no air whatsoever. i've got a fan blowing air out, but it doesn't do much good when it gets stupid humid like it has been the last 2 days. i'm sitting here and my face feels like somebody slobbered on it. heat is good, humidity sucks.

so, what does it mean to be a college graduate w/no foreseeable means of beginning a meaningful career? it means i'm generally disappointed and depressed as usual. not so bad today though. today i'm just bored as hell. bored and humidly uncomfortable.

on that note, time to do something unconstructive with my time and play some video games. perhaps one day i will submit a resume or fill out an application that actually gets me an interview and a jizzob. apparently not today though.

make like i love being unemployed...

PEACE

the missing me...

i think i'll start commenting on my own posts. would that be cheating (as if this was a game)? i spend far too much time on my computers nowadays. sheesh! i had a few thoughts when i decided to begin typing, but i seem to have somehow misplaced them in my mind somewhere...

well, it is hot again today. i need to trim the hedges, literally. actually, there are more than a few things i need to do around the house, but i rarely do them. most of the time i just don't feel like being bothered. guess that's why i haven't done laundry since Feb./Mar. or so. i'd be in trouble if it weren't summer. fortunately all my warm weather clothes were clean when it got hot...

make like my eyes want to stay open...

PEACE

twere i to prognosticate...

WTF! couldn't think of anything else, so i figured i'd type some stupid shit. here's a question that i'm sure i'm not the first to ask or ponder: why do people use phrases such as "how are you," "what's going on," or "how goes it?" that would essentially be a rhetorical question, for if i did not know the actual answer, i'd have far less social grace than i apparently currently have. i read some excerpts from the Oprah and Gayle interview that reminded me of myself. Oprah said she's not the most friendly person. i wouldn't know, since i've never met the woman, but she seemed nice enough on television. personally, i would not classify myself as nice. my low tolerance for bullshit creates a great deal of consternation towards my fellow humans. i used to wish i was some lost extra-terrestrial so that i could vacate the premisis so to speak. far as i know, i would have no such luck (not that i believe in luck at all). i once had someone challenge my perception of how different i am. of course this person had spent little or no time around me of any great introspective depth. this was well before i had any inkling of how serious my depressive states were. anyway, either i'm rather different, or i am just extremely socially challenged. i suppose the latter is highly possible, but-ah whatever....

i'm tired of typing...

make like i feel like concentrating...

PEACE

perhaps but i'm not sure...

ah yes, the utter boredom and miserableness continues. depression is a bitch. sometimes i feel like medication might benefit me. generally speaking though, i tend to think not. the only thing that makes me consider drugging myself up is the fact that when i get depressed, i tend to get frustrated rather easily. it's irritating, which leads to further frustration with being frustrated. it's a sickening circle of anger generating particularness that causes me a great deal of confounding disturbment. in short, it pisses me off. this of course does not help at all, because i find myself angry and frustrated. compound that with my further irritation at being angry and frustrated at the same time as being bored and depressed, and then you may begin to understand why my wife says i don't like people. now, if you understand any of that, then you're probably just as crazy as i am.

i make jokes about it, but it really is irritating. fortunately, writing is one of the things that has helped me deal with the bullshit over the years. writing has turned into typing in this forum, but i've been doing it so long, that the cathartic effect is not as strong as it used to be. it still works though. it has sort of a calming effect. unfortunately, sometimes i'm so angry and frustrated that i either don't feel like typing, or i cannot settle my mind enough to type anything remotely coherent (there's plenty of evidence of that in these pages).

i'm becoming a grumpy old man. i suppose in many respects, i've always been grumpyish. for the most part it just irritates me that most people just don't give a fuck about anyone else except for themselves and the gratification of their immediate desires/goals. why should i even care? i ask myself this question whenever i get pissed, but this is the nature of my insanity. maybe i have a problem with the fact that i have no control whatsoever over anything in my environment except myself. that wouldn't make me any different from anyone else, but why am i so consumed by this concept? i don't see myself as a control freak. i'm not particularly interested in controlling anyone, but i do seem to desire organization and order. problem is when neither exists, i develop a great sense of frustration.

well, i must say there is nothing quite as irritating as the website having issues and deleting half of my thought(s) through error. i honestly don't even recall what it was i had originally typed. in fact, bearing evidence of what i previously stated, i got quite pissed off and just stopped typing. i moved on to playing some PC games instead.

unfortunately, many of the things that i find calm me down do not result in very productive actions on my part. problem is, if i'm not calm then i don't think through things properly. hard to solve problems when you're smash shit mad. it's kinda sad, 'cause i can be a great problem solver. i can't even say that it's a pressure thing. it would be easier if that was the case i suppose. i have a delayed reaction characteristic to my emotions that often allows me to deal rather calmly with situations that give other people the heebeejeebees (sp.). sometimes it suspends my anger, but lately that hasn't been working. i just get instant pissed and that's it.

fuck i'm bored. part of my problem is my perception of where i ought to be and what reality indicates my actual location is. there is a rather large gap. that is a permanent irritant. of course that is merely a perceptual problem on my part, but it is irritating nonetheless. the me that i am can sometimes be a burden, but i don't know how to be anyone but myself. whatever, fuck it. i'm just waiting for the UPS dude to bring me my shit so i can finally finish building my "new" system. on that note...

make like Ms. Universe is remotely socially relevant...

PEACE

you know i'm bored as all hell when...

i post to my blog twice in under a 24 hour period. my summer so far has sucked the big suckoleon. i think it's safe to say i can be a generally irritated person. people tend to get on my nerves. it's likely me, but it seems most people are raving idiots. that's not to say that i have the solution to life's problems, but that's what drives me to draw my previously stated conclusion: so many people think they have it all figured out. usually that perspective seems to be founded in the mental version of 5-block radius syndrome. if you're not familiar with the concept, most people rarely venture outside of a 5 block radius of their domicile. i'm actually guilty of this in my latter years, but not because i like to hang out around my 'hood. i prefer travel, but i can't afford that shit. that's another story though, and i'd like to get back to my point. most people tend to be concerned with their immediate environment and their immediate circumstances. again, i can be guilty of this at times, but usually i look at the proverbial big picture. the mental 5-block radius syndrome leads people to think rather selfishly. i haven't had that luxury most of my life. it's just my personality i guess. i'm always considering how what i do may affect others. 9 out of 10 times the sentiment is not returned. most peeps just don't give a fuck.

what the hell does this have to do with anything? not a goddamn thing i suppose. it just happens to be how i feel at the moment. i'm bored as hell and extremely irritated. not having gainful employment can do that to ya! i hate not working. i have businesses i'm supposed to be running, but it is a little difficult to do business with no working capital. so why don't i get a small business loan? 1. i don't have tight credit. 2. i don't want to owe any financial organizations anything at the moment. i've got business cards, but i don't believe i've glad-handed enough away to generate any interest. this assessment is derived from the complete lack of phone calls i have received asking for my assistance in my area of expertise.

okay, i actually had a point i was supposed to make when i started typing, but now i just don't give a fuck. i'm just streaming over here. my mind moves quite a bit faster than my fingers most of the time. when i get really bored, depressed and irritable, my attention span becomes very ADHDish. on that note, i'd like to say my neighbors mostly suck and most people could care less if i dropped off the face of the planet or not. the second part is somewhat irrelevant as long as i don't feel that way, but i thought i'd throw that in there anyway.

make like i am so excited at this very moment...

PEACE

so what the fuck...

my long lost younger sister emailed me a few days ago. basically she sucks. much like the rest of my supposedly blood related family, she has the distinctly throwed off gene intact. it was reminiscent of the nut ass letter my wonderful father sent me about a decade and a half ago. in a fine exhibition of the existence of the throwed off gene on the paternal side, he suggested rather emphatically that my interest in sexually explicit materials would lead to my becoming a child molester and rapist. rather humorous eh? insulting, but rather humorous. based on the amount of pornography i've consumed over the years, i guess i'm a serial rapist. dork.

so, my wonderfully missing for 12 years sister suggests that she needs to see me as if she did not know where i was for the last 12 years. odd, seeing as how i gave her my home address, work address, home phone number, pager/cell number, and work number. i can honestly say that she's had at least 1 of any of those pieces of information during this time period. oh yeah, and she's had my Yahoo and AOL IM info as well. does she contact me? hells no!

so, after about 2 years or so of no contact at all, i get this email. of course it's about our mother being on her death bed or on her way to it or whatever. ah yes, my wonderful mother. such fond memories of having a bread knife held to my throat for asking why i was the only one who had to wash dishes every night. oh and how could i forget the $50 she paid her friend to send her daughter on a date with me. that's not at all embarrassing. basically to make a damn near life long story short, my mom sucks ass. i always marvel at how the death of either one of my parents will not have any effect on my current life. the nature of our relationships is like they're dead anyway.

but i digress yet again. back to my lunatic sister. she mentions all this shit that she knows not a goddamn thing about because she was like 5 when i rolled out. all the info she has is from our mother who is damn near a pathological liar. couple that with the fact that our mom has a great imagination and a gift of telling great stories, and sis has nothing to stand on whatsoever. she tells me she's angry and alone, but then says she doesn't want me to give her phone number to any of our family members. that's funny 2X. why? 1st because i don't fuck with any of these people. 2nd because she complains she's alone. shit, with the way she decided to approach me, her ass is likely to stay feeling like that. i honestly don't feel like dealing with another crazy family member.

i suppose i may call her eventually, but for what purpose? if her attitude is anything like it was in her email, she's likely to get introduced to cousin Tone. i have enough bullshit on my plate, i don't need any side orders.

make like my sister has a freakin' clue...

PEACE

almost but not quite...

so, it will be 1 year at the end of this month that i've been typing for no one to read. [awkward crickets chirping silence]. how 'bout that? i've considered transcribing my old written journal(s) to this format, but what's the use. besides, that's material from many, many years ago. i'm talking late '80's to late '90's. there's some crazy shit in there, but the past is.

anyway, i've been thinking about how useless my parents became as i got older. i'd have to say i miss having parents, but i don't miss my 2 dorks. i was commenting to my half that it's going to be somewhat unusual to not know anything about my parents impending death(s). for all i know, they could be dead or dying. that's honestly not likely, but i honestly am not particularly concerned. perhaps that sounds cold. oh well!

make like i GAF...

PEACE

dying a slow death...

no silly, not me. my car. i was right to name my car Needa. only thing is it's Needa be fixed instead of Needa be driving...

don't know if it's the battery or the alternator, but i know the car won't start w/o being jumped. i thought...

then i thought again. i gotta stop starting posts and not finishing them. this shit is 6 days old. (but somehow the original date is still intact). Needa had to get a new alternator. sucks. that shit cost me $106 w/the tax plus $75 for labor at the mechanics. good thing is i save $94 by copping my own alternator. the mechanic was gonna hit me for $275 for everything. i still need a new battery. shit, i thought i needed new bulbs for my headlights. now i think it was the alternator and battery fucking up the whole time. it wouldn't be so bad if i was working somewhere and could pay for the maintenance. oh well, back to that sucking sound that is my life.

make like i'm making a decent living...

PEACE

well now...

...if it ain't that extra baggage feeling. or is that 5th wheel feeling? or is it that it's 3:32A and i don't have shit else to do. yeah, i think it's that last one. i had something on my mind, by i don't even feel like typing really. this is what you call a lack of motivation-and yet i'm still typing...

make like i have anything to actually say...

PEACE

nothing to see here...

...as if anyone was looking. okay, since it appears that no one is reading this, i can stop being reserved about my comments. of course, there could be lurkers, but somehow i doubt that.

it's interesting how some people feel that artistry does not need criticism. it isn't good to create in a vacuum. seems like i've done most of my creation in such an environment, but it still isn't good. feedback is essential. as an artist you've gotta have some skin thickness and find the valid comments in the bullshit. for example, i have often been labeled as a critic for my views on hip hop music. opinion may not necessarily be, but discussion tends to be a side effect of intellect. if you cannot discuss a subject w/o getting all bent out of shape, it seems to indicate a lesser intelligence. some would suggest that intelligent discussion and hip hop are diametrically opposite, but i strongly disagree. i found it highly disturbing when certain known artists suggested that hip hop should not be criticized. how foolish a concept. as an artist, i find the idea extremely offensive.

my whole perspective on criticism is this: every person does not like every thing. how can you attempt to please everyone? you can't, so fuck it. if i'm going to create, it might as well please me. this may seem vain, but isn't it my self-expression? my creative energy is not to impress others. if others find my creation impressive, then that makes it that much more rewarding to me. from an admittedly idealist perspective, i create to release that energy at that time. i don't create to fulfill the perceived interests of who knows who. the thing that makes creative products popular is the ability of other people to relate to them. if a large number perceive themselves to have some type of relationship with the creative product or the product's creator, then the product will draw that respective amount of attention.

this is what happens when i don't have a freakin' 9 to 5. i sit around thinking. how horrible and unpatriotic. you can't think in this country. actually, you can think, just don't tell anybody what you think about if it isn't what everybody else thinks you should be thinking. i think i said that correctly? anyways, i'm bored as hell and hungry as fuck, so...

make like there's pork cooking on my grill

PEACE

where is GOD when you need "it?"

not that anybody reads these things, but i figured i'd address some religious issues today. notice i did not say spiritual, but religious. i am not fond of religion. most especially, i am not fond of Western religions. without referencing specific religious belief systems or their anti-social practices, i'll just get into the whole GOD thing...

what's my beef? well, for starters, the concept itself is so anthropomorphic. [OOO! VOCAB!] many of the espoused attributes of GOD completely contradict the basic concept of being perfect, infinite, and omnipotent. how's that? let's take the whole gender concept. this is hilarious. the suggestion that GOD has a gender at all is horrendous. being a spiritualist i find it utterly laughable. i used to discuss such things with religious types, but they always get frustrated and the conversation becomes frivolous. here is the problem: if GOD is infinite, how can a finite definition be established for GOD? doesn't work. for GOD to have any kind of gender, GOD would have to be finite. easy, right? you'd be amazed at how cats try to explain this one away.

next up is the whole emotional state GOD is supposed to have. GOD is vengeful, vindictive, and jealous? how does that work? what is perfection? emotions are essentially expressions of a flawed or imperfect state of intellect. the above mentioned emotions are anyway. how in the world does it figure that a perfect entity would harbor any type of jealousy, or express even a hint of anger? it doesn't make sense. these are human expressions of imperfection. these expressions occur because of our frustration with our finite and imperfect existence. to attempt to transfer these emotions to an entity conceptualized as perfect and infinite is quite senseless.

one of my greatest beefs with religions in general is that many practitioners believe that their faith has the answers. this is patently contradictory to my belief system which is based on my interaction with the energies of the universe and my experiences as a finite being. i don't claim to have an understanding of the purpose of life or the answer to life's questions, but this is actually the basis of my spiritual path. basically, i believe that humans really don't know shit. this is our scientific and religious motivation. this is especially true of Western/European society. it's all about control. the problem is you cannot control what you don't understand and the entire universe is damn near completely beyond human understanding. humans generally do not like the unknown. so what is the solution? religion and science. two venues of attempted explanation and understanding.

many people are under the impression that science and religion are diametrically opposed. i think that impression is falsely derived. why? pretty much because both approaches to explaining the unknown are based on certain assumed faiths. the only difference is that science does not call its beliefs faith. the faith of science is known as theory. theories are an interesting concept. they don't actually exist and cannot be completely substantiated. if they could, they would no longer be theories. they would be facts. another interesting aspect about theories is that if someone comes along with a better explanation, the old theory can be thrown away like garbage. this is the basis of the science that determines our day to day living. most people would find it very uncomfortable to look at science in this perspective. hmmm? sounds familiar.

if my point is followed at all, this reiterates my comparison of science and religion and their similar functions in assuaging the general human discomfort with the unknown. again, the two are not all that far apart in their approach to explaining things. probably the biggest difference is that at least with science there is some attempt to provide some methodic documentation of the explanation. science asks a little less on the faith side of things than religion does. still though, theories are basically things of faith. believe until proven otherwise. some people approach the concept of GOD this way. i personally don't believe in GOD at all.

i believe in the universe and its energy. i don't understand it, and i'm fine with that. i think that one of humans' biggest mistakes is assuming far too much understanding of things that are not wholely understood. consider that we are the only animal on this planet that completely contradicts the environment which we require to survive. we are the only animal that persistently destroys and abuses the Earth. how intelligent is that? this isn't a Douglas Adams story. it's not like somebody can buy a new planet when this one gets fucked up. humans try to own things that cannot be owned and commodify things that otherwise do not have value. personally, i find it disturbing. most disturbing of all though is that we think we are the most important thing that ever happened in existence. it doesn't quite make sense.

imagine the concept of the entire universe existing simply so that humans have something to observe. how absurd is that? all that to say this: the concept of GOD that most people who do believe in GOD have is based on some very short-sighted and narcissistic perspectives of existence. fortunately, i don't suffer from such issues. i have other issues that i suffer from that i won't get into here...

make like i'm going to hell for this piece...

PEACE

so like um yeah...

whatever yo! the Mavs got that ass whooped. WTF! something stinks in the big D, and it ain't the cattle pies. i actually watched the game. to all you Dallas fans who think the officiating decided the game, the officials weren't missing tre shots left and right at the end of the game. how 'bout those bad passes that led to turnovers? these guys were playing sloppy as hell for a team that was about to end its season. i ain't mad. after the way they lost the 3 in Miami, i was not expecting Dallas to recover. at least they kinda made it a game. it wasn't a blowout. Dirk Nowitzki was channeling Karl Malone. [DOH!] meanwhile, D. Wade seemed to be straight jacking M.J.'s mojo...ta da! instant NBA championship ring. it's good to see vets get jewelry i guess. Mourning, Payton and Walker got hooked up. oh yeah, Kobe is an asshole. just thought i'd put that out there...

on that note, i'ma hobble dobble on outta here...

make like somebody is actually reading this blog...

PEACE

the mystery of life...

i know! i know!

...but i'm not telling. wait, that doesn't make sense. anyway, i do know the mystery of life, but i have no idea what the answer/solution is. this ain't The Matrix, and i'm sure as hell not Neo. speaking of movies, i just peeped King Kong (2005). the effects were truly amazing for the creatures. some of the background effects were terribly noticeable as computerized, but the creatures were off the cheazle. i gotta cop the other 2 Kong movies to see if they had such detail of Kong. i doubt the B&W one does, but the one from the 70's may. the only other thing i wasn't really feeling was the length of the ship scenes. being a Kong fan, i obviously don't like the fact that he died in the end. reminds me of the newer Godzilla that i love and own, that nobody else seemed to dig like that. well then, i guess monsters cannot be led about or held captive w/o their consent. bring a monster to N.Y.C. and watch the monster fuck shit up (as if this could actually happen). okay, i'm sleepy. on that note i'm out. i'm typing straight gibber at the moment.

make like my eyes wanna stay open

PEACE

to read or not to read...

there isn't much of a question there at all. since i have yet to generate any comments, i think it's safe to say few if any eyes peruse these words. in a way that's good. this way if i decide to talk shit about somebody 'cause they pissed me off, they won't know about it. not like it makes a difference either way.

so, Peter Parker revealed his secret identity. WOW! as you can see, i really have a lot going on in my life. i'm just so fucking busy. anyway, i'm actually bored as all hell. my plans for this summer are pretty much tanked until i find a new gig. i hate looking for gigs. i hate being out of work, but i hate the pretentiousness of job searching. i think it's my straightforwardness. i'm not one to bullshit. i try to avoid people who bullshit, but most interviews are bullshitty. think about it. you have an entity (since it could be more than one interviewer) trying to determine the future behavior of an individual on the basis of a few pieces of paper (resume, cover letter, application) and a few minutes of conversation. why is a commonly accepted practice odd to me? well, consider this scenario: all goes well at the interview and the new hire seems to be working out. a few weeks into the honeymoon, employer discovers through no fault of employer that new hire is straight psycho. in fact, new hire just recently went psycho. okay, i admit, this is an extreme and likely highly irrational scenario. but, it could happen. i'm kinda contradicting myself, 'cause that was some serious bullshit...[HA! HA!]

i used to think that things would pretty much work out one day. now i think that day may have already come and gone. now i kinda hope things will just work. as i get older, my depressive states seem to be getting more involved. at least i'm more aware of the why of my state of mind. not that it helps much, but it helps. when i was working, i didn't have time to seek therapy. now that i have the time, i've got no funds with which to pay for services. my wife thinks meds might help me, but i don't think i need them. regular therapy seemed to help me quite a bit. unfortunately, i have not been in about 2.5 years. insurance companies are only too happy to just drug you up.

it's funny that drugs are every where you look on TV and other media outlets, but the legalization of weed is such a taboo. no THC, but everything else is okay. hypocrisy runs amuck in society...

make like the current state of my focus...

PEACE

...so anyway...

if anyone ever tries to tell you that depression is not a disability, smack the shit out of'em. yes, i know violence is not a solution, but neither is ignorance.

i don't even feel like typing. i hate when i get depressed 'cause i don't feel like doing shit. usually, i'm like Mr. Multi-task. when i get depressed i'm like Mr. FTW. i don't even drive properly. that's kinda dangerous. my wife thinks i may have that shit that makes you wanna stay in the damn house all the time. i haven't done my laundry in about a month. it's a good thing it warmed up, 'cause i'm digging in my summer clothes. i've been driving around with my laundry in Needa's trunk for damn near a week. i almost went to the laundromat today. sometimes i just don't feel like doing much of anything.

it's weird. i wake up in the morning feeling like everything is cool. as soon as i wake all the way up, it's like somebody coated my day with bullshit...

anyway, life's a beach and then you drown...or is it get eaten by a shark?

here's a funny story:

today i got a check in the mail from what used to be my vision insurer. i got the check because they reimbursed me for paying out of pocket for new frames/lenses from America's Best. they printed a message on the stub encouraging me to use in-network providers. why is this funny? basically because all i paid for were the frames (after the check). i'm talking $35 a frame. no in-network provider was going to give me 1 let alone 2 frames for this price. did they look at the bill? wow! had i gone to one of their doctor's i would likely have spent close to $100 or more for 1 pair of glasses. plus, America's Best gave me an additional 25% off the final cost of my bill. so i got 25% off plus reimbursed for over 50% of the out-of-pocket expense i did pay.

make like i'm having loads of fun right now...

PEACE

glad am i that i know my way around a pc...

not to gloat or anything, but i just saved myself from PC disasterville yet again. some might say "if you had a Mac you wouldn't even be dealing with that kind of problem." they'd probably be wrong. i don't do normal things w/my computer(s). i do crazy shit like change the permission/security settings so that even i can't access my computer. [DOH!] why did i do such a thing? just fucking around with the settings. the great thing about knowing how to build and repair a PC is being able to put my hands in/on it. you gotta tweak shit sometimes. sometimes tweaks 'cause problems. it's cool. i'll admit i was a little stressed when i re-installed the OS and i was not able to get at either one of my data drives. i have a bad habit of not doing backups. considering how often i futz w/the settings, you would think i would make backups a regular part of my activities with the computer(s). anyway, i got into safe mode was able to readjust the settings to access my drives. [YAAAY!] this is what i call fun with computers.

aight then, gotta go eat some vittleans...

make like my computer after i denied access to the administrator account...

PEACE

only time will tell...

...but unfortunately i don't speak clock.

my youngest said the craziest thing last night. we play this game called What If. basically you make up some crazy ass scenario and ask "what would you do?" so he says "what if a big crackhead came in the house and said 'i'm smoking right now," what would you do?" i almost choked i was laughing so hard. you had to be there, but it was so funny because he doesn't really know what a crackhead is. i asked him once what a crackhead was and he responded that it was someone who drives crazy. his mom didn't understand the answer until i explained that i call people crackheads when they do dumb shit while i'm driving around...i love my kidren...

anyway, if anyone actually reads this blog, you may find i'm making more frequent entries. that is 'cause i am currently woefully underemployed. i hate the whole job search process. there's so much bullshit to it. you fill out the app and they never call you. you go to the interview but you don't get the gig. here's my favorite one: you get the gig and your manager is an a-s-s-h-o-l-e! yup. anyway, capitalism is your friend not mine. i've got to feed my family that's all. i will be accepting donations for the next few weeks...

anyways, i'm bullshitting and i need to stop. i've got to get some hustle flava going.

make like my paycheck this week...

PEACE

would you buy a t-shirt with this image on it...

check this out...

i'm seriously thinking about coming out with a t-shirt with this or an extremely similar image on it...




give me some feedback:

1. would you buy such an item?
2. would you actually proudly sport it?

don't know about you, but i'd proudly do both. hats, t-shirts, mugs, bags, posters...
okay, maybe not posters...

you get the idea. this guy has got to be the dumbest prez in recent history. i didn't like Reagan, but i never thought he was dumb. he was ignorant as hell, but what affluent person is familiar with the less affluent members of society? anyways, this guy Dumbya pisses me off. i tried to vote'em out of office but it didn't work. sour grapes? i think not...

more like idiot intolerance. hey what do you expect, I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE...

think anyone'll come after me for this shit? never know with these paranoid cats..
.
hey let's spy on citizens in case they call Osama...yeah, great idea...[DORKS!]

aight, that's enough...i'm out...

make like Osama actually had any ties with Sadam...

PEACE

it's hard to be a supa produca...

...when you don't have any goddamn equipment. if i were to cry over spilled milk, i'd say "damn, i should have kissed the blinkless wonder's ass and kept my shitty job," but that would be a lie. i only miss the income not the employment. don't worry, i'm not going to start trippin' about asshole managers.

well, i am no longer an undegreed person. i am a Temple graduate. i keep saying that as if it were a magic spell or some shit like that. you know, like if i keep saying it i will somehow be financially stable. [SMILE!] obviously that shit doesn't work that way, but it's nice to know that i actually owe the gubment money for something besides writing papers and getting drunk on the weekends.

oddly, i did not end up actually walking because the ceremony was too goddamn long. had some logistical problem with my family and my offspring were hungry as sheazle, so we had to be out. as history would have it, there are no photos anywhere in my possession of me ever receiving any educational documentation at a graduation ceremony. but guess what...i don't give a split shit goddamn. [lot's of cursing today huh?] you know why?

'cause I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE! I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE! YES I AM, I'M A TEMPLE GRADUATE!

okay, i'm buggin' out. i was supposed to have a party, but i'm broke. hey, who else was supposed to bankroll the shindig? anyway, maybe i'll have one this summer. that'd be nice, but it's not looking too good at the moment.

speaking of not looking too good, Needa is fucking falling to pieces on me. i'm kinda pissed but not. i'm more irritated 'cause this shit is happening when i don't have the cizash to get the shit fixed. the key broke in the trunk lock. the driver's side seat came off the track (the mechanic said i need a bus). the speed sensor is malfunctioning. today i hit a fucking tree. backed right into it i did. i don't think i hit it hard enough to fuck the car up, but still that's not too good.

anyway, that's about enough for today. for the individuals who do read this expression of deeper thought [SMILE!], i've made some adjustment so you can comment w/o having to register w/the site. i got an email couple of months ago about it and never read it. i was kinda busy with full-time school, full-time work, and part-time sleep. so, have at it, but don't do anything stupid. if you read this at all, you should know by now i have a low tolerance for stupidity.

make like Barry Bonds never, ever, ever used any performance enhancing substances...

PEACE

well goddamn!

yep, i finally did it. it took 18 fucking years, but i finally gragiated from undergragiate school. say something smart and i'll beat ya ass w/my degree. [WHAT!] but seriously, i got my shit after many trials and tribulations. my moms & pops can eat a collective dick for the utter lack of support i received from them. that goes from not making any type of financial commitment to my early years to providing little or no emotional support to me throughout my entire life. thanks assholes. anyway, on to the positive...

did i say i graduated today?

yeah buddy!

aight, i'm 'bout to celebrate. looks like i'll be celebrating by my solo, but fuck it. i've got my bachelor's to keep me company.

on that note i'd like to thank my supportive family members for attending my ceremony today. not that anyone reads this or might even know what the hell i'm talking about, but whatever.

make like i have classes next week...

PEACE

Almost official...

barring any unforeseen grading mishaps, i will soon be a college graduate. this is an amazing feeling for me. don't know if it's 'cause it took so long, or perhaps it's just a great feeling of accomplishment. i'm still kinda premature, but it looks like things are a go. i gotta check when grades are supposed to be finally posted to be sure. now comes the hard part: finding a steady gig.

i suppose this is slightly more difficult for me than some since i do not particularly want a career working for so-and-so's company. i want my own business. i actually have a decent framework for a business plan from one of my courses this past semester. it needs to be fleshed out and researched more, but it is a definite start. i even contacted a law firm in D.C. that deals with the aspects of business i desire to pursue. now i gotta secure funding. this is where employment comes in the picture. i pretty much have to provide potential employers with the impression that i actually intend remain in a position for those indefinite periods that they consider a career. interesting proposition...

all my earnings will be for maintaining the fam and funding the biz effort. once i get my shit together independently, the employer situation is null and void.

anyway, gotta get crackin'. it's all about computers, audio engineering and production. can you say G-R-A-D-U-A-T-E?

make like this semester...

PEACE

10 Reasons Why Columbia House DVD club eats ass

this is not hate.  this is real.  this emails actually came from Columbia House (CH).  this is why consumers need to start kicking these companies in the ass by not buying shit from them anymore...

REQUEST 1:

why can't i login to my account anymore?  i can access my
account over the phone just fine.  when i try to use the web i keep
getting the enrollment page. 

also, what happened to the human phone option?  this is not very
customer friendly.

LAME RESPONSE 1:

Thank you for your recent e-mail message.

In order to assist you as soon as possible, we are responding with
information that we have found beneficial in answering similar
questions asked by members.  However, if this reply has not answered
your question(s) completely, please let us know by using your mail
program's "Reply With History" to send a follow up e-mail to a Columbia
House Customer Service Agent.

HOW DO I CREATE A USERNAME AND PASSWORD

HOW DO I CHANGE MY USERNAME AND/OR PASSWORD

Sincerely,
Customer Service

REQUEST 2:

read my original message 1st and then perhaps you can actually help me. 
i would really appreciate it.

no phone assistance is going to make this take a whole lot longer. 
cost effective is not very customer friendly in this case...

LAME RESPONSE 2:

Thank you for your e-mail message.

Account #50310281923

We apologize that our automated response did not
completely address the concerns mentioned in your
previous e-mail message. Please be assured, no
discourtesy was intended.

It was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored
by your credit card company.

Due to this status you were removed from our online services. 
Therefore you will not be able to logon to our website.

If you wish to reactivate your membership, you may either provide the
updated information via fax
at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service at 1-800-262-2001
for assistance.

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience
experienced.  We assure you that providing you
with the best possible service is our top priority.
We think that you will find, given the chance, our
automated phone service can be an efficient and
effective way of accessing information about your
account.  However, if you are not able to access the information needed
via our phone service, you may visit our web site at
http://www.columbiahouse.com/, or e-mail us at dvd_customer_service@columbiahouse.com, or write
us at Columbia House DVD Club, PO Box 91602, Indianapolis, IN
46291-0612.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Leo Pearson
Customer Service

REQUEST 3:

okay, i still have not heard from anyone about my account. i even tried
calling the phone number. there was no option for me to update my card
information. is this your way of trying to make me open a new account?
then i would have to assume a new obligation. it would really be nice
to resolve situation without having to send anymore email messages.
how about it?

LAME RESPONSE 3:
It was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored
by your credit card company.
If you wish to reactivate your membership you may provide the updated
information via fax at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service
at 1-800-262-2001 for assistance.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Vince Cook
Customer Service

REQUEST 4:

maybe if i type in caps this will get a response...

I GOT AN EMAIL LIKE THIS ALREADY. I CALLED THE NUMBER ALREADY.  WHAT
IS THE KEY SEQUENCE TO GET ASSISTANCE?  NO ONE HELPED ME WHEN I CALLED
THAT NUMBER.  IT WOULD BE A GREAT DEAL EASIER TO UPDATE MY INFO IF MY
ACCOUNT WAS ACCESSIBLE.  ALSO, THERE ARE NO "NUMBER" OF CHARGES THAT
WERE NOT HONORED.  YOUR SYSTEM IS APPARENTLY LIMITED AND DOES NOT EXPLAIN
ITS FLAGS.  I AM COMPLETELY AWARE OF WHY THIS HAPPENED.  IT IS BECAUSE
THE DIRECTOR'S SELECTION WAS CHARGED TO MY ACCOUNT BUT NO FUNDS WERE
AVAILABLE.  THIS IS ONE CHARGE.  YOU GUYS HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE.  THE
ONLY DIFFERENCE IS BEFORE I COULD TALK TO SOMEONE AND THE ISSUE WAS
QUICKLY RESOLVED.  IT HAS NOW BEEN ALMOST 3 WEEKS AND NO HELP YET.  DID YOU
EVEN READ THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE?  YOU KNOW, THE PRIOR EMAILS?  I
DOUBT IT, BECAUSE IF YOU DID WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME THE EXACT SAME
INFORMATION THAT WAS OF NO HELP PREVIOUSLY?  I WILL GLADLY UPDATE MY INFO, IF
SOMEONE GAVE ME A LEGITIMATE MEANS TO DO SO.

HOW ABOUT SOME REAL HELP THIS TIME!

LAME RESPONSE 4:

Thank you for your e-mail message.

Account #50310281923

Please accept our apology for the inconvenience
you have experienced.

It was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored
by your credit card company.

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience
experienced.  We assure you that providing you
with the best possible service is our top priority.
We think you will find that, given the chance, our
automated phone service can be an efficient and
effective way of accessing information about your
account.   However, to speak with a representative,
you should have no problem contacting a representative
by dialing (800)262-2001 and following these instructions
to navigate the system.  Please have your account
number ready.

-press 1 after the initial greeting for English
-next, choose the most appropriate option to handle
       your inquiry and/or order

You may also visit us at http://www.columbiahouse.com/ 24 hours a day.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Jonathan Samuels
Customer Service

REQUEST 5:

WOW! DID YOU BOTHER TO READ ANY OF THE PREVIOUS EMAILS?  ARE YOU TRYING
TO GET ME TO OPEN A NEW ACCOUNT?  I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE BEST POSSIBLE
SERVICE YOU CAN PROVIDE.  I HAVE YET TO GET IT!  THESE EMAILS SURE ARE
NOT MAKING IT.  ARE THESE FORM LETTERS OR SOMETHING?  YES YOU MAY BE OF
FURTHER SERVICE.  RE-OPEN MY INTERNET ACCOUNT SO I CAN UPDATE THE CARD
INFORMATION.  I WILL REPEAT-

T H E R E  W E R E  N O  " N U M B E R "  O F S E R V I C E  C H A R
G E S.

IS THIS NOT BEING MADE CLEAR?  IF MY ACCOUNT HAD SUCH A HISTORY, WHY
WOULD I HAVE HAD THE ACCOUNT OPEN FOR SO MANY YEARS?  THIS IS LAME. 
YOU GUYS DO THIS TO MY ACCOUNT EVERY YEAR.  I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU
FIXED THIS ASAP, OR SOONER.

BY THE WAY, THERE IS NO APPROPRIATE OPTION AFTER PRESSING 1 FOR
ENGLISH.  SURELY YOU ARE AWARE OF THIS OR YOU WOULD HAVE INDICATED THE
NUMBER SEQUENCE FOR ME TO ENTER TO GET THE CUSTOMER SERVICE I HAVE BEEN
REQUESTING.  THE MENU OPTIONS ARE WOEFULLY INADEQUATE TO HANDLE THIS
SITUATION.  IF I AM MISTAKEN, WHAT IS THE SEQUENCE?  I ASKED THIS IN THE
PREVIOUS EMAIL AND I GET "PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH."  YOU CALL THIS YOUR BEST
POSSIBLE SERVICE?

PLEASE RE-OPEN MY ACCOUNT SO I CAN UPDATE MY INFO.  THERE WERE NO
MULTIPLE CHARGE REFUSALS.  STOP CANCELING OUT MY ACCOUNT.  TRY CALLING
SOMEONE OR EMAIL BEFORE CANCELING AN ACCOUNT.  THAT WOULD INDICATE THAT
YOU ACTUALLY VALUE MY EXISTENCE AS A CUSTOMER.  BUT PERHAPS THIS IS THE
REAL ISSUE, YOU DO NOT VALUE ME AS A CUSTOMER AT ALL....

LAME RESPONSE 5:

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience
experienced.  We assure you that providing you
with the best possible service is our top priority.
We think that you will find, given the chance, our
automated phone service can be an efficient and
effective way of accessing information about your
account.
However, if you are not able to access the information
needed via our phone service or e-mail us at dvd_customer_
service@columbiahouse.com, or write us at Columbia House
DVD Club, PO Box 91602, Indianapolis, IN 46291-0612.

As stated earlier,it was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored by your credit card
company.

Prior to receiving your instructions to withhold
the Director's Selection, or because we did not
receive a response to your selection card by the
date specified, an attempt was made to automatically
process following selections :

LEGEND OF ZORR
LORD OF WAR
WED CRSH UR
WAR WORLDS 2005
MADAGASCAR 2005
CHARLIE CHOCO
BATMAN BEGINS
MONSTER-IN-LAW
CONSTANTINE

Due to this status, you were removed from our on-line database.

If you wish to reactivate your membership, please update your credit
card information.you may either provide the updated information via fax
at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service at 1-800-262-2001 for
assistance.

Please be assured that a soon as this information has been updated your
account will be re-instated.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Benny Foster
Customer Service

REQUEST 6:

THIS IS BULL.  WHY WOULD YOU AUTOMATICALLY PROCESS ALL OF THOSE
SELECTIONS WHEN THOSE ARE DIRECTOR'S SELECTIONS THAT I DECLINED?
  
ONCE AGAIN, WHAT ARE THE KEY STROKES TO UPDATE MY INFORMATION OVER
THE PHONE.  WHEN I CALL THAT NUMBER IT ONLY GIVES ME THE OPTION TO CHECK
MY ACCOUNT OR MAKE AN ORDER.  WHERE IS THE OPTION TO UPDATE MY CARD
INFORMATION?
  
 MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOUR SYSTEM IS EITHER SCREWED OR YOU DO NOT HONOR
THE REFUSALS THAT I HAVE MADE FOR DIRECTOR'S SELECTION.  WITH THE
EXCEPTION OF LEGEND OF ZORRO, I REFUSED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE TITLES THAT
YOU LIST.  I TRIED TO LOGON TO REFUSE THE ZORRO BUT I COULD NOT DO SO!

LAME RESPONSE 6:
As requested, shipment of the current automatic
selection is being withheld.

Therefore, if a change is needed
you may either provide the updated information via fax
at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service at
1-800-262-2001 for assistance.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Pete McFly
Customer Service

REQUEST 7:

DO YOU PEOPLE READ AT ALL?  YES YOU MAY BE OF SERVICE.  NOT FURTHER
SERVICE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE YET TO BE OF SERVICE AT ALL.  THERE IS NO
CUSTOMER SERVICE AT THAT NUMBER.  THERE IS AN AUTOMATED SYSTEM THAT HAS YET
TO BE OF ANY SERVICE AT ALL IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION.  APPARENTLY,
YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN A LOOK AT MY PAST ORDERS.  I MAY NOT MAKE FREQUENT
ORDERS, BUT I USUALLY ORDER OVER $100 WORTH OF DVD'S AT A TIME.  I GUESS
I HAVE NOT SPENT ENOUGH TO WARRANT MY ACCOUNT.
  
HOW CAN YOU BE OF FURTHER SERVICE:
  
OPEN MY ACCOUNT ON THE INTERNET SO I CAN UPDATE MY CARD INFORMATION.
  
THAT IS ALL.  ANYTHING ELSE YOU DO IS COMPLETELY FRIVOLOUS.  THESE
EMAILS ARE REDUNDANT AND INANE.  YOU ARE NOT AND HAVE NOT HELPED ME AT
ALL.  YOU PEOPLE KEEP RESPONDING WITH A DIFFERENT REPRESENTATIVE, AND NOT
ONE OF YOU HAS DONE ANYTHING REMOTELY PRODUCTIVE YET.
  
THE MOST IRRITATING PART IS THAT OVER THE PHONE, WITH A HUMAN, THIS
WOULD HAVE BEEN RESOLVED IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER.  IF YOU THINK THIS
IS EFFICIENT, YOU MUST THINK CONSTIPATION IS EQUIVALENT TO REGULARITY.
  
GET IT TOGETHER!

LAME RESPONSE 7:

It was necessary to cancel your membership due
to the number of charges which were not honored
by your credit card company.Due to this status,
you were removed from our on-line database.

If you wish to reactivate your membership, please
provide the updated credit card information via fax
at 1-800-590-6656 or you may call customer service at 1-800-262-2001
for assistance.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Micah Bishop
Customer Service

"How are we doing? Please take a moment to fill out a quick survey. The
survey is located at the following URL:
http://www.endusersurvey.com/default.asp?project_code=chc&code=7290
Thanks!"

REQUEST 8:

here is a hint.  two hints actually.  first, read the emails that are
clearly included in this email and located at the bottom of this
message.  last, stop giving me the same erroneous information.  your current
method of account servicing plainly sucks.  you obviously are not
reading my messages at all.  why do you even bother to attach your names to
these messages?  it is not like i get to deal with the same person when
i respond.  apparently, my patronage is not respected or further
desired.  you have yet to honor my request and your reasoning is patently
fallacious.  this is not useful or "of further service."  the worst part
about it is your prices do not lend themselves to me accepting this
treatment.  you must not like the business.  Walmart is less expensive,
Netflix is less expensive, and Deep Discount DVD is way less expensive. 
not to mention that the available selection from these operations is far
better than yours.  in short:  YOUR DICKEATING SERVICE EATS ASS!
  
have a great life and much luck with the future of your shitty
customer disservice!

LAME RESPONSE 8:

We regret your previous email was not
handled to your satisfaction.  Please be assured,
no discourtesy was intended.

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience
experienced.  We assure you that providing you
with the best possible service is our top priority.
We think that you will find, given the chance, our
automated phone service can be an efficient and
effective way of accessing information about your
account.

However, if you are not able to access the information
needed via our phone service, you write us at:

Columbia HouseDVD Club
PO Box 91602
Indianapolis, IN 46291-0612.

Please accept our apology for any inconvenience. 
If we may be of further assistance, please let us
know.

Sincerely,
Marie Eckerle
Customer Service

REQUEST 9:

so now you want me to waste a stamp and more time to not get the same
service rep.  you guys really suck.  you have no idea what service is. 
it has been a month plus and i still have not gotten the service i
requested.
  
you cannot even seem to assign one representative to an issue until
that issue is resolved.  that would be an inkling of service.  have i
gotten that? hell no.
  
get a fucking grip.

LAME RESPONSE 9:

Your recent e-mail message has been received but
we are unable to determine your wishes.  If you
will provide complete details of your request,
we will be happy to assist you. 

Please be advised that we are not obligated to
respond to vulgar, abusive, or insulting language.

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Betty Post
Customer Service

REQUEST 10:

either re-open my account so i can update my card information or lose
my business.  it is interesting that you would reference my language
usage, indicating that you read part of the previous emails, but you claim
to be unaware of what service i have REPEATEDLY requested.  you people
do not deserve customers like me.  if it were not for the principle of
the matter, i would not still be bothered.  your service as it
currently exists is completely devoid of CUSTOMER.  you officially suck.

LAME RESPONSE 10:
Please accept our apology for the inconvenience
you have experienced.

However, in order for us to reactive your account it will be necessary
for you to submit your new credit card information either by fax or
regular mail.

Columbia House DVD Club
PO Box 91602
Indianapolis, IN 46291-0612

FAX #1-800-590-6656

If we may be of further service, please let us know.

Sincerely,
Betty Post
Customer Service

more to come?  perhaps, but why?

make like customer service at CH

PEACE